Fight or Flight?
by Sexy Meat Pies
Summary: Lindsay Matheson thought she loved Bass. But as times got harder, and her brother left the place she called home after the Blackout, things fell apart. The man she loved, who is now 'General Monroe' becomes abusive, controlling, and paranoid, taking away every bit of normalcy she has. Lindsay must decided to run away from Philadelphia or fight against Monroe. Or both? AU.. kind of.
1. The Nights When Everything Changed

**Author's Note: I own nobody of course, except Lindsay. I will try to update often. This is my first story, so "being kind" on reviews will help me very little. I cannot improve if I do not know what to improve upon. I know this chapter is long, and not all of mine will be so lengthy. Enoy! :)**

**TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE BLACK-OUT**

I pace up and down the living room of my brother's apartment.

"They'll be here." Ben assures me. I turn to my younger brother.

"I know they'll be here!" I snap. "But when we have to deal with shell shock or PTSD, what then?"

"Have you been reading up on this?" He asks, smiling.

"Haven't you?" I question.

"Yes." He admits, "I-" The door opens and my older brother Miles and his best friend, Bass walk in.

"We're home!" He calls, jokingly.

"And craving chocolate chip cookies." Bass adds, smelling Rachel's speciality. She walks out of the kitchen and smiles.

"Well, you'll have to wait a little longer." She grins at them both.

"Benjamin!" Miles calls and Ben walks over and hugs him. He shakes Bass' hand.

"How are you?" He inquires.

"Tired as hell." Miles answers, shrugging his bag off. Rachel picks it up and takes Bass' too and hugs each of them before taking the bags to their rooms. Miles' gaze falls on me. I'm frozen, clutching my clock necklace, it's nearly silent clicking reassuring. Miles gave it to me for my twenty first birthday. It was mom's and he saved it for me. It was so unexpected. Miles is the kind of guy I expected to give me a bottle of booze for my twenty first birthday, while Ben gave me sentimental things. Which he did, he gave me a photo album. Of course, my first drink of alcohol was with my older brother. That was two years ago. Just a year before he left for his first tour. He joked about how I was always a "good girl", waiting until the legal age to drink and I've still never gotten "drunk" drunk. He smiles at me. I try to smile back, but I'm over-whelmed with just seeing him there. I haven't spoken to him in a year, not face to face. He's called, but it wasn't always easy to talk over the phone. I rush over to him now and throw my arms around him.

"Hey, little sister." He says in response.

"I missed you," I finally choke out.

"I missed you too." I release him, wiping a tear away with my forefinger.

"I'm sorry." I laugh.

"No, it's fine." He waves it off. "How are you?"

"Good. I'm good." I turn to Bass. "Hey."

"What, no hug?" He asks saracstically. I smile and hug him. He chuckles softly and hugs back. "How are you, Linds?"

"I'm fine." I answer him, rolling my eyes. "Stop worrying." He lets go of me and I look up at Miles as the oven beeps. "I'll get it." I hear Miles and Ben exchange some talk as I run to the kitchen to take the cookies out of the oven. I slide the tray onto the stovetop with ease. Walking back to the living room, I announce, "Rachel's cookies are ready. Just a few minutes to cool!" They all cheer. Rachel's cookies are amazing. She walks down the stairs, holding out her phone.

"Ben?" She's worried about something. "It's Randall." Ben stands up.

"From the..."

"From the DoD." She confirms. Ben takes the phone.

"Hello?" He waves at us to go on without him. "Yes, sir. No... no, we can't..." His voice fades away. I look at the two men on the couch. Bass shrugs it off. Miles grabs the remote and starts flipping channels.

"Come sit, Lindsey." He says, not looking me. I smile and sit in between the two people I'm closest to in the world. Miles on my right, five seconds from making some dumb joke that we'll laugh at because of how stupid it is. And Bass, on my left, awkwardly going out of his way to make me smile, without needing to, but at the same time, not trying to come off as flirting.

Miles keeps flipping channels, to various results. Cartoons, soap operas, sit-coms, everything. Miles gets up, presumably to get a beer, and leaves the tv on some commercial. I sit and watch as the tv movie comes back on, some war movie. Miles comes back, can in hand.

"What's on?" Just as the movie lights up, a soldier gets shot and his fellow shoulder screams him name. I squirm uncomfortably. But Miles doesn't change it, nor does Bass. They don't want any of us to know they're phased at all. I can feel Bass' body tense beside me, though.

"What happened?" The movie asks.

"He's dead!" The soldiers shouts. "I could've saved him, I was right there! I barely even knew him!" I feel Bass tense even more, and he stands up.

"I... need to make a call." He lies badly. "I'll be back." He nearly runs out of the apartment.

"Bass!" Miles calls, switching off the tv as the door slams. "I'll go after him" He stands and jogs after him. Ben and Rachel come down the stairs.

"Everything okay?" She asks.

"Bass freaked out." I say, worried. "Some movie, it- it..."

"He had a flashback." Ben finishes. I nod.

"Yeah, but what's going on with the DoD?"

"It's nothing," He glances at Rachel. "Don't worry about it." I know he's lying but I shrug it off. Miles comes in, soaking wet.

"Miles?" I stand up. "Is Bass-"

"He wants you." Miles says, panting. "He wants to talk to you."

"Me?" I ask feebly.

"Yeah," He says, moving from the doorway. "He's on the roof." I nod, grab a beer from the fridge, and run up the flight escape stairs to the building roof. Bass is there, slumped against the garden wall.

"Bass?" I ask gently.

"I was fine, Linds." He says, his hands on his head. He rocks back and forth, crying. "I was fine. I told myself I wasn't going to be one of those guys who freak out in the middle of the night... I was ok on the way back. I was ok while I was there. Why am I like this now?" He looks up at me.

"I don't know, Bass." I say, sinking next to him and handing him the beer. He clutches it but doesn't drink. "I don't know... but it will get better. I promise."

"How?" He asks. "When?"

"I don't know." I repeat, my voice cracking.

"Can I talk about it?" He asks me, trembling. "Will you listen?"

"Of course I will." I tell him. "Bass, of course."

"Ok..." He takes a deep breath. "When I was in Iraq ... I was on a team... and a guy on my team... Grayson... he- he was shot in some crossfire. And just hours earlier, Grayson had been on the phone with his wife and I remember just thinking 'hurry up', I wanted him to stop talking so I could use the phone and- and Lindsay... Lindsay, I think it may have been my bullet. I think I killed him, Linds!" He covers his mouth. "Oh God, I killed him!" I take the bottle out of his hand and put it aside before hugging him.

"No, Bass." I whisper. "No, you didn't. Whatever happened... happened. But you couldn't help it. You were defending yourself, defending this country, defending HIM! He was a soldier, same as you. You would never intentionally kill a good person, Bass. You ARE a good person." He stares at me for a few seconds.

"What am I gonna do, Linds?" He cries. "I can't live with this. How will I... who's going to understand?"

"I do." I assure him. "And Miles does. And so will Ben and Rachel. We are all here for you, Bass. We love you and we're here for you." He looks at me for a long moment. Then he kisses me. It's short, he pulls back almost immediately.

"I'm sorry, Lindsay!" He bursts. "I shouldn't have..." Suddenly, the last sixteen years of my life come rushing back to me. When I was seven and Miles brought Bass home for dinner, he was eight then; The day I started high school, being as asocial as I am, sitting with he and Miles. Miles was my brother, Bass was my best friend; eating lunch everyday with them, sharing inside jokes, and secrets; My first break up, it was Bass and Miles who helped me through it; My graduation, it was Bass I was surprised to see cheering loudly for me as saluditatorian. Miles was obliged to be there, but Bass had actually taken the time and money to come and be there with me. Me and Bass. Sebastian and Lindsay. We were always there for each other. I was always there for him, too. Two years ago, when his parents and sisters died. When Emma broke his heart. Now... I'm here for him NOW, ten years later. Bass and Linds...

"Don't apologize." I whisper, and press my lips to his. We kiss passionately, it feels right. I pull away sooner than I would have liked, but longer than I should've. "Don't tell Miles."

"I won't if you won't." He smiles. His tears glistening on his cheeks, he lays his head on my shoulder. "Thank you, Linds."

"I'll always be here for you, Bass." I reply. "Like you have for me."

"And I always will." He promises. The beer and memory forgotten, we sit like that for half an hour. Leaning against each other, hand in hand, hsaying nothing. He opens his phone to check the time after a while. "We should go inside, Linds."

"Bass?" I asks standing up. "When do you go back?"

"Miles and I leave for Parris Island... tom-orrow." My shoulders drop and I look up at him.

"So soon?" He nods.

"We're wanted back at base." He shrugs. "Something important. When do you go back to Pittsburgh?"

"I don't know." I roll my eyes. "Rachel wants me to stay a while, but knowing Ben if I don't leave soon, I'll be here for a month." Bass chuckles. We part hands and walk down the fire escape and through the open window. Everyone is in the living room, little Danny in his mother's arms.

"Hey," Miles says, shutting the window behind us. "Everything alright?"

"Everything is fine." Bass says, with a quick glance at me. I sit on the couch next to Rachel and Danny.

"Hey, Dan Dan." I smile at him, "Couldn't sleep?" He coos. "No, how could you when Uncle Miles and Uncle Bass are here?"

"Do not get him wound up, Lindsay." Rachel says sternly, but with a smile. "He needs to get to bed so I can."

"So, Lindsay," Ben says, "Have you thought about staying here awhile?"

"Ben." I say, rolling my eyes. "I think... I think I'm going to go to Charleston. Maybe for just a while."

"What?" He says, looking at Bass. "When did you decide this?"

"I just... I haven't seen Miles and Bass in so long, and-"

"-Did you kiss?" Miles interrupts me.

"What?" Bass says, after spraying some beer.

"Bass, you're my best friend." He shrugs. "And Lindsay, you're my little sister. And I know when you both are keeping secrets. You've both got guilt written all across your face."

"Miles," Bass says, putting his beer down. "We-"

"Yeah, we did." I intereupt him. "No point in hiding it. Yeah, Bass and I kissed. I'm not ashamed of it."

"What does that mean?" Rachel asks, rocking Danny.

"I guess..." I look at Bass. "We should talk about it." He nods, and we walk silently to the next room, closing the door firmly. "Bass, you know me. I'm not going to hold back how I feel and neither should you."

"Well how do you feel?" He asks, meeting my eyes evenly.

"I like you." I reply. "A lot. And if that means using gooey titles like boyfriend and girlfriend, then ok."

"Hell, you must really like me." He grins.

"Shut up." I grin back. "What about you? How do you feel?" In two long strides, he crosses the room and kisses me.

"Does that answer your question?"

"It does indeed, sir." I smile, kissing his cheek. We walk out of the room, holding hands. Before anybody can say anything, I announce.

"If ANYBODY makes any gooey, romantic comments about what I'm about to say," I pause for effect. I will kill you."

"Agreed," Ben laughs. "Now out with it."

"Lindsay and I both really like each other," Bass says, "And we're both going to try... dating for a while. See where things go." They all stand still for a second, unsure of what to do.

"Oh for God's sake." I roll my eyes. "Just go on." They all laugh, and hug us and at one point, I hear Miles say to Bass,

"I don't care if you are my best friend , if you hurt my sister, I'll beat the crap out of you."

"And I'd deserve it." He agrees.

After everyone has said everything they wanted to say, we head off to our rooms. Bass and Miles are staying in a hotel not too far off, and I'm in the guest room between Danny's and Charlie's rooms. Before I have the chance to fall asleep, a knock comes on the door. Puzzled, I open it. It's Ben.

"Hey," I greet him.

"Can I come in?" He asks, nervous.

"Yeah, sure." I consent, moving away. He walks in, holding something in his hand. "You alright, Benjamin?" I asks, using his full name the way I sometimes do.

"I swear, sometimes you're just like Miles." He pauses. "Sometimes, you're just like me."

"Ben, what's going on?" I ask worried. "You've been paranoid these past few days. I thought maybe it was just Miles and Bass coming home, but..."

"Linds, I- I don't know how to tell you this." He begins. "I don't even know if I'm allowed to tell you this. Lindsay, you've heard me on my work calls, about the power..."

"Ben, if this is some national security thing-"

"Lindsay, listen," He says, his voice shaking. "I need you to listen. I'm not saying the power is going off, but if- if it was-"

"Ben, I have flashlights." I laugh. "And candles. And I can charge my phone on my laptop, and I can charge my laptop with that battery... thing you bought me."

"No, Linds! You don't understand." Great, now I've frustrated him. "If it turns off- it's ALL going to turn off. Forever. No phones, or laptops, or- or even batteries. Even that Thomas Edison model light bulb you have, it won't work!" I looked toward the model, on my nightstand.

"So, like pre- Industrial Revolution?" I ask. I hate to admit it, but that sounds kind of awesome. Of course, if it actually happened...

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugs. "Just... if it happens-"

"Ben, I love you." I say, sitting him down on the bed. "You're the smartest person I know. And you're my little brother, but I think you may be talking nonsense. There's no way this-"

"You HAVE to believe me!" He begs. "And even if you don't, at least stay here another month."

"What's in your hand, Ben?" I ask quietly, noting the symbol that slipped from behind his fingers. It looks a hell of a lot like the airlines I'm flying to Pittsburgh.

"I have connections at the airport, Linds," He says, quietly, flipping the paper over. "And earlier, you said-"

"What did you do?" I demand. He hands me the paper, defeated. I open it. Inside it is a one way ticket to Charleston, South Carolina. "Ben, I don't understand."

"When you said you wanted to go to Charleston, I was worried." He started. "But then I thought, at least you'd be with family. I called the airport and had them cancel your flight, here's your full refund."

"Ben," I say gently. "Do you really believe I need to be with someone? That the power is going to go out?"

"You can stay here or you can go to South Carolina but please just don't go back to Pittsburgh."

"I'll think about it." I tell him, ready to sleep. He smiles, thanks me, and leaves. I crawl into bed, wondering when my genius brother went insane.

I stare at Ben over my bowl of cereal. He hasn't asked me about my decision yet, but I've been up for an hour, so he's probably dying to. I avert my eyes as he turns around.

"Aunt Lindsay?" It's little Charlie.

"Hey, sweetie, when did you get up?"

"A little bit ago." She answers, cocking her head to the side a little. "Did Unca Mi go home yet?"

"No, they leave today." I tell her. "Uncle Miles and Uncle Bass will be by later."

"Are you going with them?" Ben asks, quietly.

"Yes." I say, looking away from him. "I called Bass this morning. But I don't think I'm staying. If you really want me here at the end of the month, I'll come. I'll go to Parris for three weeks and then I'll come here."

"Promise?" Ben pleads. "And promise you'll try to get Miles to come with you, and Bass too."

"I promise, Ben. Clearly, it's that important to you." He smiles and hugs me.

"Thank you, Linds." I hug back.

"Ok, that's enough hugging for one day." He laughs and pulls away. He looks over at Charlie, who's watching cartoons.

"Hey, kiddo, what do you want for breakfast?" Charlie walks over to the island and climbs onto a stool.

"Ice cream!" She exclaims, knowing her request will not be granted.

"Ice cream?" Ben asks. "I don't think so. How about cereal?"

"Ok," She agrees, giggling. Rachel walks in, carrying her two year old son.

"Morning, everyone." She greets. She puts Danny on the couch and starts feeding him. Miles and Bass walk in then.

"Unca Mi!" Charlie exclaims, jumping down and running to him. He picks her up, and throws her, catching her easily.

"Hey, Charlie!" Miles smiles. "How are you?" She shouts back and some talking ensues. Rachel asks me to hand her a toy for Danny. I do so, and look over at Bass. I walk quietly away from the family and towards the back of the mainroom.

"Hey." I greet finally.

"Hey," He shrugs back.

"Thanks for doing this," I say, "driving me, I mean."

"Oh, pshh," He waves it off, throwing an arm around my shoulders, like old times. "Please, Miles and I need more gas money anyway."

"That's true." I agree. We laugh awkwardly for just a second and then he removes his arm. I sit on the couch.

"Ok, guys, listen." Miles announces. "I promised Charlie I'd spend a day with her, so we'll leave tomorrow morning." Charlie giggles and that makes everybody laugh. "Linds, come help me pack stuff for Charlie." I give him a weird eye but follow him to Charlie's room. He throws a bag on the bed.

"She's had that made for two days." I tell him, crossing my arms.

"I know." He muses, staring me down.

"What?" I ask calmly, then after a minute. "What do you want!?"

"You and Bass." He muses. "It's weird."

"Oh God, Miles," I groan, "Am I going to get that weird sex talk from you?"

"No. Most definitely not." He assures me, but then sits on the toddler bed. "But Linds, you don't realize what you've gotten yourself into."

"Miles," I sit next to him. "I love you, but I also love Bass. And I think I may love Bass in more than a friend way."

"I don't care how you feel about him, Lindsay, that's none of my business." He corrects. "What concerns me is that Bass is barely recovering from the loss of his entire family, and he just got back from his first tour, don't you think you're taking this a bit far?"

"I see your point." I agree. "But it's done now. He kissed me first. So even I hadn't felt the same way, I would still hurt him to be around, you know?"

"Just don't break his heart." Miles shrugs, standing and picking up the small pink bag. "I know he won't break yours." He walks into the living room. "Hey kiddo!" He exclaims. I come out just as he's leaving.

"Hey!" Bass exclaims. "You ok? You look a little pale..."

"I'm fine, Bass." I answer quietly. The LAST thing you want is for Ben to notice medical problems. "I just drank loads of coffee with an empty stomach."

"Oh. well let's get you something to eat." He insists. "It's only lunchtime." I agree and sit with Bass beside me.

**Night of the Blackout**

I'm on the road, in a cab, to drive to my hotel. Miles and Bass are on their way to their base and I've been texting Bass non-stop. My phone vibrates, it's Ben.

"Hey, Benjamin." I greet.

"Are you alone?" His voice crackles.

"Uh, yeah," I motion to the cabby and he closes the window between us. "Yeah, I'm totally alone."

"Lindsay, it's happening." He tells me. "Everything is going to turn off. All of it..." crackle.

"Ben, you're really breaking up." I interrupt him, paying the cabbie and walking into the hotel.

"Lindsay, listen!" He shouts. "Get to your room, as soon as you're there, pack a bag. No electronics. Clothes, canned goods, guns, Linds, get guns, candles..."

"Yeah. I'm a history major, Ben," I object. "I think I got it." Crackle, crackle.

"Find Miles..." He crackles. "Linds, find Mi-"

"Ben?" I try to dial the number but I'm getting the busy tone. I toss it aside on my bed and go to the kitchen, flipping on my television. I'm just pouring some milk when the fridge's light flickers. "Oh crap." I say audibly. The rest of the lights flicker on and off until they're dead. Woah... what if... what if Ben's right? What if he's been right the whole time? I hurry and try the water and lights. Still usable. I fill everything with water. Tubs, sinks, bowls. I pack a bag, putting the stuff Ben instructed inside. And my rifle, that I've never actually used. I fill water bottles for perhaps three minutes when the water shuts off as well as the lights. A few cries emerge from the building. They're going to go crazy. What do I do? I can't drive obviously... there's a knocking on my door. Already? I freeze.

"Linds, it's Miles and Bass." I sigh in relief and open up. The two boys charge in, looking through my cabinets.

"Gee, I'm glad I didn't let in two burglars." I say half heartedly. Miles throws anything I missed into an empty bag he brought and runs to the other rooms. Bass comes over and hugs me. "Is now really the time to-"

"Just tell me you're ok," He says.

"I'm fine, Bass." I hug him back.

"Good. Let's go." Miles says, handing me my now heavy pack.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Back to base." He replies, avoiding my eye. "We're going to have to sneak you in."


	2. You're Not Doing It Alone

**Author's note: I own nobody but Lindsay. Props to Kripke and Co. Short chapter. Just a bit of a Linds/Bass sweet moment before we get to crazy psycho Bass. :) rate and review.**

**One month after the Blackout...**

I wipe tears away as I feel someone come up behind me. Jeremy, Miles, or Bass?

"Have you eaten anything today?" Bass.

"Yeah, I had some fruit a little while ago."

"Don't lie." He pleads.

"Oh, I'm not lying!" I snap. "After that banana, I actually went over to Les Gavroche for some croissants!"

"Hey, don't be like that." He touches my cheek. "It's not you, Linds."

"You know what else isn't me?" I demand. "Killing people like it's nothing! I never thought I'd run someone through for stealing apples! I'm not military, I can't... I'm sorry, Bass, I shouldn't have-"

"Shhh, it's ok." He quiets me, pulling me in. "I understand."

"I just..." I falter, the image cropping up in my brain. "Those kids, Bass, those dead kids! I can't get them out of my head!"

"I know, baby, I know." He whispers. "It's ok. It's scary... I'm scared." He admits.

"I don't think I can do this!" I whisper.

"You're not doing it alone." He whispers. "I love you." I stop breathing for a second.

"I love you too, Bass." I kiss him.

**What'd you think? Sweet? Cheesy? Both? Well, it's going to get crazy soon, so don't worry. :) I should have a new chapter up tomorrow. Bye for tonight! **


	3. Miles Made Him Crazy

**I own nothing except Lindsay and maybe some more characters along the way. ;) Everything else is property of Kripke & Co. So, anyways, here's some crazy Bass.**

**ELEVEN YEARS AFTER THE BLACKOUT**

I put the book aside as a knock breaks the silence.

"Come in!" I call. A young soldier walks into my quarters, looking nervous like they usually do.

"Yes?" I ask, politely.

"Ma'am, General Monroe would like you in his office." He says, twisting a cap in his hand. "And he requested you wear the dress he bought you."

"Now?" I ask mournfully. He nods. "Alright. I'll be right there." He nods again. After the door closes, I find the dress and pull it on. It's a short, black dress with long black sleeves and a low cut. I slip on some shoes and walk out. Walking along the hallway to Bass' rooms, I notice all the soldiers around his door are more terrified than usual. He must be on edge today. I walk in. "Bass." I call. He turns.

"Linds!" He says and sweeps over to hug me. "I love the dress." Imagine being she who hated the dress.

"Thank you, I love it too." I answer, biting my tongue. I feel Bass' hands on my hair, my shoulders... "Bass, Bass, Bass..." I stop him, laughing. He looks to be in one of his crazy moods but I know once he starts, he'll never get around to what he called me in here for. "Bass, stop, we haven't even-" next thing I know, I'm slammed into a wall with a hand around my neck.

"Don't tell me," He starts, looming dangerously over me. "What I can't do! I can do anything I want to you. Anywhere, anytime."

"Bass." I scramble, trying to get him off of me. He's not in a crazy mood... he's insane. "Pl- please, stop, Bass." He slams his lips against mine, then against my throat, my chest... he stops, releasing me. Choking, I fall to the ground at his feet. I start to get up, when he's there, his hand restraining my arm. He kneels down.

"What the hell is this?" I look down to see he has picked up my clock necklace. "Miles gave you this."

"Bass, I swear," I start, and he pushes me back down. "It's not some sort of Miles thing... it belonged to my mother. It's just something to help me remember my family."

"Remember your family? Miles **is** your family!" He shouts. and yanks the necklace off it's chain, tossing it to the other side of the room. I hear it's shattering, it's cracking, it's no more ticking.

"Bass, no." I whisper. "I lov-" I can say no more with his lips on mine. He kisses me all over and picks me up. I slash at him, but he dodges me expertly. He throws me onto his bed.

"You're a Matheson." He growls. "Now that Miles is gone, I finally see: you're nothing but a whore, Lindsay!" He starts kissing me.

"Bass stop!" I scream. "Don't be that person!" He slaps me.

"Don't ever tell me what to be!" He punches me once more before kissing me again. _Miles, _I think desperately, _you've made him_ crazy.

**Author's Note: Soooo what do you think? Rate and review! Also, there will be flashbacks soon and** _they will be written like_ this. **Bye for now.**

**P.S. I know the girl in the picture is a _little_ too young... it's me, by the way, that's me... but I am searching for a better one presently. Ok, bye, seriously.**


	4. Rachel

**The Next Morning.(Eleven years after the Blackout.)**

"Bass, why?" I whisper, tears still sparkling in my eyes. I don't know how to phrase last night. I wasn't willing to sleep with him obviously, but at the same time, I can't see it as rape. And now I feel like I don't know anything. I'm laying under the covers next to him, his arm around my waist. I wonder what he would do if I tried to get up. "Why did you do that?"

"Linds," He starts, like it's so complicated. "I don't know how to explain it to you. Your brother leaving has hurt me so much. Seeing something that was his really scared me."

"You called me a whore." I point out. "You hit me, you broke the only remainder of normalcy I have, and you forced me to sleep with you... all because of my brother?"

"He messed me up bad, baby." He croons. I make a sound of contempt.

"Were you drunk?"

"What?"

"Were you drunk?" I repeat. "Last night."

"No, Linds." He sounds offended. "You know I've been cutting back on the drinking." I laugh inside and go to stand. His arm constricts and I cry out unexpectedly. "What?" He asks, surprised. He moves back the sheet for us to both find a large bruise on my side. I glance at him, and stand up, pulling on my dress.

"See you later, Bass." I mumble. As I turn to leave, I stop and scoop up my broken necklace, and leave the room. Once in my own quarters, I examine my clock. It's glass is cracked in several places. The hand is sticking out, and it doesn't tick anymore. Never again will I look at my beautiful 19th century necklace and tell myself what time it is.

Bass did this. He destroyed my life. I should have gone with Miles. I had a chance to leave. But no, I convinced myself I loved Bass. But Bass isn't the same... he's not Bass. He's General Monroe. He's tortured people. He's let Strausser torture my sister-in-law to death. He raped me. I know that now. There's no way I'm going to get out now, though. He's paranoid, he won't let me leave. It's only a matter of time before he'll have me in his room permanently.

Vaguely, I wonder when I stopped loving Bass. Then I wonder what Miles would say. Obviously when we started dating, he wasn't happy, but he had come to accept us. But I mean, Miles having to watch us kiss and leave the room to go have sex couldn't have been easy. And Miles got frustrated. But you can't blame him. He was trying to run a country, while Bass and I talked about having kids. I mean, not that extreme but still. There's a knock at the door, and I call out,

"Go away, Bass." I call out.

"Lindsay, please." He pleads through the door, "I want to apologize."

"What can you have to say, Bass," I stress each word. "That you can possibly believe will make me forgive you?"

"Lindsay, I'm trying really hard not to get angry-"

"Well, I appreciate that very much." I snap. I hear a cry then... a woman's cry. "Bass, what the..." I slide off the bed and fling open the door. Bass is standing there, violently gripping Rachel's arm. "Rachel?" I ask, my vision blurring. "But- but you..."

"I'll give you two some time." Bass adds and shuts the door.

"Lindsay?" Rachel asks, reaching out to hug me. I let her for a while. "Oh God, I've missed you!"

"Rachel?" I repeat. "You... Bass told me you were dead. You... Miles left..."

"I know." She whispers. "I know he did. It's all Bass can talk about... but how are you?"

"Well, like you said, Bass is a little crazy about Miles leaving, I miss my brother, but..." I stop, trying to keep my voice from cracking. Her eyes land on my necklace. "But I'm fine."

"Your clock..." She notes. "It's broken."

"Yeah..." I agree. "He broke it."

"Did he hurt you?" She continues.

"No, of course-"

"Don't lie." She says, "I can tell. The way you move cautiously, you're bruised."

"I'm fine, Rachel." I insist.

"Where?"

"Where what?"

"Where are you bruised?" She elaborates. "Where did he hurt you?" I think about lying to her but eventually, I whisper.

"Pretty much everywhere." She inhales sharply and pulls up my shirt, showing my bruised side.

"That son of a bitch." She exhales. "Sit down." I pull over the vanity chair and seat myself while she rummages in the bathroom. After a while, she come back out with a few medical things and sits on the bed next to me. I hold up my shirt as she tends the bruises."You should really learn to do this yourself." She adds quietly.

"I won't need to." I reply firmly. "Bass got mad, he won't do this again.

"Hmph." She replies. "Was he drunk?"

"I think so." I answer, shrugging. She nods as if that's what she expected. "Why do you ask?" She shakes her head slightly. "Rachel: why do you want to know if he was drunk?" I stop her hands from whatever she's doing, causing them to bumb into my bruise. I muffle a cry. "How'd you know to look there?" She maintains her silence. "_Rachel_!"

"I want to know because I know how he gets when he's drunk." She says, her voice quivering. "And I looked there because I know where it hurts when Bass rapes you." Her eyes are shiny with tears now.

"Rachel..." I falter. "Has he..."

"Yes," She says, turning away from me. "More than once."

"Does my brother know?"

"If he does, he clearly doesn't give a damn." She says with much force. "He left me with Bass, knowing what could and might have already happened to me... same as you."

"Is Bass drunk now?" I ask, my stomach tightening with each second of silence.

"Not sure." She replies, putting the medicines away. "I don't think so." I stand up and fling open the door, ignoring the pain in my side.

"Lindsay?" Rachel calls. "Linds! Stop! You're only going to get hurt!" I turn long enough to see the guards stop her from leaving my room. "Lindsay!" I turn away and walk to Bass' quarters. The guards try to stop me but I push past them.

"Bass!" I call. He steps away from the map on the wall.

"Hey, Lindsay." He says meekly. "Where's Rachel?"

"I know what you did, Monroe." I say, staring him down.

"Monroe?" He scoffs. "Did you just call me Monroe? And what do you mean what I did?"

"You raped Rachel!" I nearly shout at him. "More than once! And you raped me!"

"I didn't..." He sighs. "Linds, it's not... it's complicated..."

"You son of a bitch!" I yell. "There is nothing complicated about it!" I slap him full in the face. "How can you... What..." He grabs my wrists and pushes me into the wardrobe, the knobs digging into my back.

"No one... talks to me... like that!" He screams in my face.

"Go ahead!" I shout back. "Hit me! Are you going to rape me again, Bass? Huh? And then, what? You'll go and rape my sister-in-law because there's nothing wrong with that is there? Hold on, Bass, let me go and get some rope! Tie me up! You might as well, since you won't let me leave! God, Bass, you're so paranoid-" He punches me, and kicks my feet out from under me. I fall to his feet with an oomph.

"Shut up!" He roars, kicking me. "Shut up! You don't get to talk to me like that Lindsay! I'm the President of the Republic!"

"And you're doing a damn good job of it!" I scream and push myself up. "I'm sure that's what Miles was thinking when you killed thise kids! That's why he left you know!" With a blood curdling cry, Bass punches me several times. I shield myself, trying to protect vital organs. I went too far. I hadn't wanted to make him this angry... "Bass, stop! Please!" I scream, hating myself for pleading with him. He grabs my hair and pulls me up to eye level, so my feet are almost dangling off the ground. He grips my neck with his other hand.

"You want me stop!?" He screams. "You give me permission and now you want me stop!?" He throws me at least five feet onto his bed, and leans over me, his knees pinning my legs down.

"Bass, please, no!" I beg. I don't want this to happen again. He presses his hands to my face and shoves his lips against mine, murmuring horrible things. He ties my hands above me and rips off my blouse. "Stop! Bass..." I may seriously regret this, but I _need_ him to stop. "I don't love you anymore!" He stops kissing my neck to sit up, looking startled at me. Then he becomes enraged.

"You don't love me anymore!?" He shouts some profanity, then swings off of me, grabs a bottle of whiskey and leans his head against the wall. "You don't... since when, Linds?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "But I realized it last night, when you..." I stop, hardly needing to finish. I expect him to freak out and hit me or something. But he doesn't. He just calmly sets down his bottle and walks out, locking the door behind him.

I don't know what I just did or what it means for me. Will I be locked in this room forever? I _highly_ doubt Bass will let me go. Maybe I should have just taken it... let him do whatever he wanted to me. But now, God, I don't even know what's going on now!

No! I will _not_ think like this! My thoughts are all that I have that is still completely mine. If Bass is able to corrupt even those, then I'll have nothing. And nothing is something I absolutely can't live with.

Bass walks back in then. I wrap the sheet around my nearly naked torso and look steadily at his face. Being him, he could explode at any moment. But rather than scream at me, he just pulls up a chair next to the bed, and looks back at me.

"Ok, let's talk." He says, eerily calm. "Why don't you... 'love me anymore'?"

"Bass..." I start, not able to meet his eye anymore. "Please don't be angry."

"I'm not angry." He laughs. "I just want to know what happened. You can tell me."

"I... I don't know." I answer, rubbing my arms. "You've changed, Bass, you... you're not the same. Maybe it's the pressure of running a country, but-"

"Of course it is," He takes my hands. "Linds, you know it is. I'm sorry, I really am. I got angry, you were right, I was drunk... and, and I had a stressful day, and it'll never happen again! I promise."

"I told myself that." I whisper. "But then it almost happened again, just now! You hurt me, Bass, and I can't trust you anymore. I think it would be best if... if I left. For a while, anyway! I'll come back, but I need some time to myself."

"Some time to... some time to yourself?" He repeats, rubbing his forehead. "Linds, do you realize how long I've kept you safe? How- how long I've protected you?"

"I know Bass!" I cry. "But, you're so stressed, and I think it'd be easier if you didn't have to worry about me... or Rachel."

"You want to take Rachel?" He asks, disbelief clear in his tone. "No! No, she can't leave... you can't leave, Linds! I need you... you need me!" I shake my head.

"No, I did need you," I look at my hands. "But now... I don't know..."

"I know what you'll do." He stands, and walks around, letting his hand trail around the bedframe. "You'll leave, saying you'll come back. But you won't... no, you'll run to your brother and start helping him try to kill me!"

"No, I won't!" I insist.

"Lindsay," He pleads, sitting in front of me on the bed. "Linds, please, I know what I did was wrong. But I swear, just listen, I swear it will never happen again. Do you think... do you think you could ever love me again?" I look up, into his eyes. "Please, I can't lose you too. Not after Miles." His voice trembles. I don't know what to say. I don't want to stay here, but at the same time, I'm not sure if I could survive it out there on my own. Or if the solitude wouldn't drive me mad. And now that I know about Rachel...

"Leave Rachel alone." I say in response. "Maybe I can love you again, but I can't when you're torturing my sister."

"Ok." He agrees, rising and pulling me with him. "Of course, anything for you."

"I- I'm going to go now, Bass." I say, pulling away. He starts to look panicky, but quickly, I add. "Back to my room. I'll see you for dinner?"

"Yeah," He laughs. "Yeah, I will. I'll, uh, I'll see you later." I walk out, feeling his eyes on me, and turn the corner. I open the door to my room and walk inside. After shutting the door firmly behind me, I sink down against it, too exhausted to walk to the bed. What am I going to do? Can I really stay here knowing Bass could easily go insane again? Miles was right. I should have gone with him.

**Author's Note: Shout out to LLCoyote for reviewing. Ans thanks to everyone who followed, favourited, or even read!**


	5. Tell Me He Hasn't Changed

**The Night Miles Left Philadelphia**

I wake up to the sound of my door opening and closing.

"Bass?" I ask sleepily. "Bass is that you?"

"It's Miles." My brother says. I roll my eyes, lighting the candle on my nightstand.

"Miles, what are you doing?" I ask, sitting up. Miles is slumped over in my armchair, a bottle of whiskey hanging from his fingers. "If you get your damn whiskey all over _A Tale of Two Cities_, I'll bloody you up."

"Lindsay, do you know what happened on my birthday?" He asks, his voice shaking. I have never see my brother look this upset.

"You got bombed." I nod. "Bass said a rebel bomber tried to kill you. I was worried, but he said he took care of it."

"He said he..." Miles laughs a quick, dry laugh. "Did he tell you how? Did he tell you about the kids?"

"Miles, what are you-"

"Lindsay, I'm leaving." I stand up, leaning against the wall for support.

"What?" I ask, walking over to him. "You can't leave! Miles, this is your Republic!"

"No!" He argues, standing up. "No, it's Bass' Republic. But he's changed... he... he's insane. He won't listen to reason. He's having men shot for practically no reason. He... he killed Rachel."

"No," I whisper. "Miles, you've tried to tell me your suspicions before, but I don't believe it! And neither can you!"

"I didn't want to, Lindsay," His voice breaks. "But I saw the body."

"You... you saw her body?" I repeat. "You saw Rachel's body?" He nods. "But Bass wouldn't..."

"I'm worried about you, Linds." He continues. "If you don't go with me, I don't know what Bass might do to you."

"This is crazy, Miles!" I whisper-shout. "Bass would never hurt me."

"I'm sure that's what he told you," He says, putting his hands on my shoulders. "But he's made a lot of promises he can't keep."

"I love Bass." I move his hands away. "And he loves me. Besides, Miles, where will you go? If you leave, Bass has every resource possible to find you."

"I've got to try." He insists. "I want... to find Ben. Even if he wants nothing to do with me, he deserved to know that his wife is..." he swallows. "He deserves to know what happened. And if I can't find him or he doesn't want me... I'll go somewhere. Charleston, maybe. Or Chicago. I liked Chicago. Are you in or out?"

"Miles, you're acting crazy-"

"It's a yes or no, question, Linds!" He says, putting his whiskey down. "So answer it."

"No." I answer, a single tear sliding down my cheek. "I can't." He hugs me then. After a few moments, he holds me at arm's length.

"Look me in the eye and tell me Bass hasn't changed."

"We've all had to change." I shake my head. "It doesn't mean-"

"I won't make you leave," He says, letting go. "But you might not have a choice after tonight." I give him a puzzled look. His hand moves slightly under his coat, resting on his... his holster. Wait, why does he have his gun?

"Miles," I breathe. "_What_... are you going to do?"

"I love you, little sister." He replies, and leaves the room.

"Miles!" I call, but it's too late. He's gone. I throw open my dresser and search for my rifle before I remember Bass took it. He just got really worried and ordered it taken out of my room... maybe Miles is right. Maybe Bass... Maybe _General Monroe_ is crazy. I throw open the door, and run down the hallway. In front of Bass' rooms, there are at least a dozen guards, and more running towards me, past me. I run in to see Bass sitting up in bed, his eyes wide. Jeremy is there, talking to him. "Bass!" I shout.

"Lindsay!" His eyes fall on me, crazed, terrified.

"Bass, where... where's Miles?" I ask nervously. He swings up off the bed.

"Jeremy, go lead the search party!" He orders. "You, lieutenant! Escort us back to her rooms!" He grabs my arm firmly but gently and rushes me down the hallway.

"Bass, what's going on?" I ask frantically.

"Your brother, uh, tried to kill me." He says, clearly shooken up and looking from side to side.

"What?" I stop when we're back in my rooms. The men begin searching any possible place for Miles. "Sebastian, what is going on?"

"I don't know, Lindsay." He says, kissing my forehead. "Go back to bed, but do not leave your room. Just stay here until I come for you, ok?"

"Bass, I don't understand!"

"I want guards outside her doors." He commands. "Anybody that gets within ten feet of them that's not me or Captain Baker, shoot them!" He turns to me. "I love you."

"Bass, please, just stay with me tonight!" I beg, trying to hold onto his jacket.

"I can't, I'm sorry." He apologizes and shuts the doors tight. I run to the window.

Philadelphia is ablaze with activity. The red, yellow, and orange of the torches flicker in a fury. The multi-coloured frenzy of horses stream past Liberty Hall. My head is spinning so fast, I can barely see. What just happened? Will I ever see my big brother again?

Bass runs out and mounts a horse. He mouths something and I can almost hear his voice, shouting, _Find Miles Matheson!_


	6. The Baltimore Act

**Eight years after the Blackout**

I sit on Bass' desk, legs crossed, listening to he and Miles argue about something. They asked me to come in here but for the most part, they've ignored me.

"I know _why_ we're doing it!" Bass shouts to Miles, who's leaning against the wall, arms crossed. "I just don't like it!"

"Bass," Miles rolls his eyes, gesturing with one hand. "I know that. But there are some decisions you have to make, no matter how hard."

"I know, man. But just listen to it." He reads off the paper in his hand in a sarcastic voice. "It will be unlawful for any citizen of the Monroe Republic to own or trade firearms. Except for loyal members of the Militia..." He throws the paper on the huge table before him. "It just sounds so... so..."

"Dictatorial?" I suggest.

"Exactly." Bass points to me.

"Ok, Linds." Miles pushes himself off the wall. "What do you think?"

"Oh, now you need me?" I ask, but then I smile and laugh, hopping down. I walk to where they are.

"Yes." Miles hands me the paper. "You said it sounded..." he stumbles over his words.

"Dictatorial." I say, emphasizing the syllables. "Of or pertaining to a dictator."

"Whatever." He sneers, "Why? What makes you think that?"

"First off, what is this?"

"The Baltimore Act." Miles shrugs.

"The _Baltimore_ Act?" I repeat, stressing the name of the city.

"We went into Baltimore with three hundred guys. We crawled away with twenty-nine." He faces me. "Twenty-nine, Lindsay. That's why Baltimore."

"Look, I understand that these attacks are horrible and people are getting hurt." I say, tossing the paper onto the table. "But what about those who aren't doing that? What about the ones just trying to protect their family? Their daughters, wives, sisters... like you did, Miles."

"I agree, Miles." Bass says, coming to stand next to me. "They have a right to protect themselves and in this world, they can't do that without guns."

"I know, guys, but-" he's cut off by the door slamming into the wall as someone bursts in. "What is it Jeremy?" He asks, slightly irritated.

"General, President." Jeremy Baker says, still out of breath. "Rebels... in the city."

"Damn it!" Miles shouts. "How many?"

"Two hundred just came through the gates." He says, looking out the window. "Could be more coming." Bass swears loudly and Miles immediately starts loading up on weapons.

"Stay here." Bass tells me. "This is the most fortified room. Don't let anyone in. Not even guards. Got it?" I nod several times, my head spinning.

"Bass!" Miles calls, tossing him a gun. He catches it and kisses my forehead. Bass takes my hands.

"I love you." He says, passionately, before running out with Jeremy.

"Lindsay." I look behind me. Miles is holding out a silver handgun. "Take it."

"I- I don't..." I gasp. "Miles, I don't even know how to use this kind of-"

"Just pull the trigger." He interrupts me. "Use it if you need to. Ok?"

"Of course, but I-"

"I've got to go, Linds." He says, letting go of the gun I hold loosely. "Stay safe."

"Miles!" He turns, a desperate look on his face. "Just... don't die."

"I'm always trying not to." He smirks and runs out. I run to the window and look out at the melee that developed in the city streets. They came out of nowhere! Soldiers and rebels are fighting fiercely. Miles and Bass are somewhere down there, blended into the crowd. There's so many of them... fighting, dying. Bullets fly and swords clash, silent to me, behind the window. I search frantically for the familiar curly blond of Bass' head, or Miles ruffled brown hair, but nothing about this scene is familiar to me.

My attention is drawn to the left corner of the window as a militia soldier is shot, and falls on the steps of the building I'm currently in, his blood staining the stairs. He was so young... he couldn't have been older than twenty... my eyes, huge with terror and shock, lock with those of the rebel who is standing by the dead kid. His eyes flicker to something behind me then back. He raises his arm and then a bullet crashes through the window. I scream as it flies past me, and fall back from the window. The window broken, the noise comes in fully. I hear the shouts, the yells, the screaming, pleading, begging. I cover my ears, but the noise is still there.

"Bass!" I scream. "Miles!" Some part of me knows that they can't hear me and even if they could, they can't rush to my side because I'm scared. But that part is buried deep inside, under the fear and confusion and shock. My hand is gripping my clock tightly. I hear a shot, closer than the others and let out a small yelp. Several more shots, closer. I hear doors slam, break down, people scream. I vaguely wonder if it's all in my head, just my brain inducing the worst thing that could happen. But as two more shots sound just outside the office door, I'm fully aware that this is real.

I crawl to the back of the room, my hand reaching toward the wardrobe. My fingers just brush the handle when the door opens, blood seeping in. The rebel who shot the window walks in, shaking. Shivering, I stare up at him and he stares back, equally terrified. He's not that old, maybe twenty-eight, twenty-nine.

"Who are you?" He asks, in a shaking voice. At first, I think I may have forgotten how to speak, but my voice slowly emerges from my throat.

"I-I'm..." I don't know the answer to that. "Are they dead?"

"Who?"

"Ba... General Matheson and President Monroe?"

"I don't know." His face softens, and he walks towards me, lowering his gun. "But there were a lot of dead militia, so maybe."

"No." I whisper. "Bass and Miles, they can't be..."

"Bass and Miles?" He echoes. "Are you... do you know them?" He nearly runs into the table and glances down, seeing "The Baltimore Act". "Who _are_ you?" he repeats. I swallow and answer honestly.

"I'm Lindsay Matheson." I clutch the gun behind my back. "My brother is General Miles Matheson and I'm deeply in love with President Sebastian Monroe. And I am begging you to just call off your men. My brother, Monroe, and I don't want trouble, they're just trying to keep the world together."

"Do you have any idea what the militia has done?" He asks incredulously. "What they're _doing_? Because of your brother and your boyfriend?"

"I don't agree with all their actions, but-"

"I lost my family..." His voice shakes. "I'm sorry, but I have to make the men responsible understand what that's like." He raises his gun.

"No, please!" I shout. "Don't!" I raise my gun, but find my finger unable to even twitch enough to pull the trigger. "Please, don't do this!" He puts his finger on his trigger...

I scream as the sound of a bullet echoes in my head. I look down, expecting a red patch on my stomach, but my attention is drawn upward by the man. He falls forward, his face blank... dead. My breath shaking, I back away from the body and look up. Miles is standing there, looking at me warily. And in front of Miles, is Bass, lowering his gun.

"Bass?" I whisper, my hands still awkwardly holding the gun.

"Lindsay," He asks cautiously, kneeling beside me and taking the gun out of my hands. "Linds, baby, are you ok? Did he... did he hurt you?"

"I... I'm fine." I answer, my voice choked. "Is there still... is there still f-fighting?"

"No, they retreated." I nod, noting that it's now nearly silent. In my head, however, the noise of the battle rages on. Bass lifts me up slowly. "I'm taking her to her room." He tells Miles.

"Ok." I jump as I feel my brother's hand on my elbow. "Linds?"

"Yeah?"

"Just for future reference," He tells me, wiping some of the man's blood off of my arm. "Stay away from the window." I nod and let Bass lead me down the hallway. He opens the door to my room and sits me in my armchair. My thumb slides over the glass of my necklace in a slow, reassuring manner. Bass pulls a blanket out of the closet and throws it over me, lights a candle, and firmly closes the curtains. He lights the many lamps in the room and extinguishes the wick.

"Linds?" He asks, crouching beside me.

"Yeah, Bass?" I ask, staring into oblivion.

"Do you need anything?" He asks. "Tea? One of your books? Anything?"

"I don't think so." I reply, looking at him. His face is dirty and smeared with blood and dirt, and he looks tired. But most of all, he looks incredibly worried. He tries to give me a reassuring smile.

"Ok." He straightens up and turns to go. "If you need anything later..."

"I'll let you know." I nod. "Thanks."

"Of course." He's about to leave, but instead hands me a book. _A Hundred Historical Sites in New England_. Then he kisses my forehead and leaves, shutting the door behind him.

Much later, the candles have blown out and I had trudged to my bed a while ago. I sit there now, the picture book open on page two on my lap. I couldn't focus. That man's eyes, before he almost... killed me. He was so conflicted. I feel so much pity for him and all the victims, but at the same time... that militia kid. Dead on the steps... I stand and go to the window pulling back the curtains. I can't see, because it's so dark, but I can tell the body isn't there anymore. Where is his body? Will they bury him? Will there be a funeral? I don't know if I should go to that. And his won't be the only one... so many died today. The door opens and Miles walks in.

"Lindsay!" He exclaims and moves me away from the window, the curtain falling back. "I told you to stay away from the window."

"Wow, Miles, knock much?" I ask sarcastically.

"I knocked four times," He says, sitting me on the bed and handing me a cup of tea. "You weren't answering."

"What?" I ask blankly.

"Are you ok?" He asks, sitting on the bed. "Like, seriously?"

"I... I don't know." I answer, turning to look at him. "But, I will be." He nods.

"Well, you're obviously _my_ sister." He smirks. "Good night."

"Night." I answer, he opens the door. "Miles?"

"Yeah?"

"The Baltimore Act..." I say, setting my tea down. He stops, leaning against the door frame. "Change the 'will' to 'shall', it just sounds better."


	7. Sergeant Strausser

**Eleven years after the Blackout (a few hours after Chapter 4)**

There's a knock at the door. I open it to see a young militia soldier standing in front of me.

"Yes?"

"General Monroe would like to see you, ma'am."

"Tell him I'll be there soon." I reply, starting to shut the door, but he speaks up.

"He... he said now." He adds, seriously.

"Ok..." I say, leaving the room and shutting the door. There's another soldier there, and the two walk on either side of me. What is going on? Bass has never had people "escort" me before. We reach the doors and one of the soldiers knocks.

"Come in." Bass calls through the doors. We walk in and he dismisses the guards. "Hey, Linds."

"What's up with the guards?" I ask, being extra careful not to sound cynical.

"Oh," He starts, walking towards me. "I know how paranoid this is going to sound, but now I know that Miles was plotting to kill me, I'm afraid someone might come and try to hurt you, too." Wow, that didn't sound paranoid _at all_.

"I understand, Bass." I smile and sit at the table laid out with food. He sits across from me, pouring some wine. He hands me a glass and I sip it, gratefully. Honestly, I'm a little worried, scared, even, sitting here next to Bass. But I try not to show it, for the pure purpose of not having him ask what's wrong. To appear normal, I ask. "So, how's the rebel campaign going?"

"Awful." He replies, sawing through his steak. "I hate seeing my men die like this and I hate seeing the rebels die too... and I'm worried that all of this is wrong. I mean, maybe I'm doing this wrong." You are, in fact. You don't need to be capturing kids to become soldiers, or heavily taxing every village within your "Republic". You're a dictator, and that's why Miles left. "What do you think?"

"I think..." I choose my next words extremely carefully. "You have good intentions." He looks at me thoughtfully for a moment.

"Do you remember when Miles and I decided to start this?" He asks, with a smile. Buried beneath that smile, I know, is an anger bubbling dangerously, threatening to spill out.

"Of course." I roll my eyes. "You asked me to start a country with you and I said no, but that I would..." I try to remember my exact words I uttered nearly fifteen years ago.

"You said you'd support me no matter what." He laughs with his mouth closed. "It's funny... people are constantly making promises they can't possibly believe they can keep. Like with Miles," Oh crap. Him talking about Miles will never end well. "He promised he'd never leave me. But there I wake up, and he pulls a gun, then he leaves..." he drinks some wine. "It's just funny." I slowly let out the breath I'd been holding. "But not you, Lindsay, right? You won't leave?"

"Of course not, Bass." I reply. It's not like he'd let me if I told him I wanted to.

"That's good." He smiles. "After your brother left, I couldn't stand losing you too." He pauses for a moment, chewing. "I feel bad. I keep going on and on about myself and I keep forgetting that you lost Miles, too. Your own _brother_. That must have been... I don't even know. No warning, you just wake up, run into my room, and... God, you must have been so confused."

"I was." I reply, sipping my wine. It's half-true, I guess. Miles was so shaken up, I had no idea why. What was it he said? _Did he tell you about the kids?_ His voice echoes in my head. What kids? Could he be talking about these what Bass calls 'conscripts'?

"You know what's been bugging me though?" Bass asks, breaking through my thoughts.

"Hm?"

"That night, when you came in, yelling my name," He looks at his wine glass rather than me. "You asked where Miles was..." Oh crap. "Why would you ask that?" Oh crap, oh crap, oh my God, oh _crap_. "I mean, you had no clue what was going on, right? Unless, you talked to Miles." Damn it.

"Bass, I swear, I had no-"

"Where did you think Miles was?" He finally makes eye contact with me. "Don't lie."

"Once I saw you were in danger, I wanted to make sure my brother was safe." I force my eyes to stay on his. "That's all."

"I don't believe you." His lips twitch down. "I know your brother, he would've tried to take you with him."

"Bass," I say, pleading now. "I don't know any more about this than you do."

"Sorry, Linds." He frowns. "I just have to make sure. Sergeant Strausser!" The man walks in after being called and my blood runs cold. I've heard about what this man has done. I've seen the victims after his interrogations. This is the man who I thought killed Rachel and would have without a second thought. He fixes me with his eery gaze and I avert my eyes, making him give a slight chuckle.

"You called me for an interrogation, sir?" He asks, creepily serene.

"Not an interrogation, no." Bass stands, putting his napkin on his plate. "I just need you to search Ms. Matheson's rooms for anything... unusual. She'll be accompanying us." He stands and nods for me to follow suit. I slowly move to my feet and wait until Strausser is a good distance ahead before walking forward, Bass on my heels.

As soon as we get into my room, Strausser turns to me.

"Now, let's see what we can find." He smiles and starts moving through my things. I really hate seeing him opening my closet, running his fingers over my clothes. And it gets worse with my desk. He rifles through my books, my drawings, even stopping to chuckle at some of my doodles. "Do you enjoy writing, Ms. Matheson?" He asks as he opens a journal.

"I hardly see how that is relevant." I snap. "That's private."

"Sergeant." Bass reprimands. Oh, so he _does_ still have a sliver of respect for me and my privacy.

"All due respect, General." He replies, the book still open. "There might be information on Matheson in here."

"Then I will be the one to read it." He presses. Strausser hands it over and resumes his search. He's silent for several minutes until he looks over my copy of _A Tale of Two Cities_. Then his eyes land on Miles' nearly empty whiskey bottle.

"Do you... drink whiskey, Ms. Matheson?" The sergeant asks, picking it up. What the hell is wrong with me? Four days since Miles has been gone and I haven't done anything with that damn bottle? Four days! Oh God...

"When the time calls for it." I reply smoothly, feeling Bass' eyes on the back of my head.

"This whiskey is nearly drained." He says, sloshing around the small around of liquid. "What exactly did the time call for?"

"My brother just left!" I say indignantly. "You think I'm coping well with-"

"You don't drink whiskey, Lindsay." Bass interrupts me. I turn to face him. "I offered you a glass a week ago, when we were with Miles and you said you didn't like whiskey."

"I know." I shrug. "But-"

"You said, and I quote, Lindsay, you said 'I drink a lot of things, but whiskey will never be one of them.'"

"I needed something stronger than wine, Bass." I exhale. "I wasn't dealing with my brother leaving well and... and I saw the whiskey-"

"Sergeant, hand me the bottle, please." Strausser, who until now had watched the scene, amused, hands Bass the whiskey bottle. Bass looks over it. "This is Miles' brand. No one drinks this except Miles. And see, the- the label is scratched at on one side. Your brother does that when he's nervous. Or excited. Or upset..."

"This doesn't prove anything." I say, my voice faint.

"Sergeant Strausser." He calls, still looking at me. "Leave us, please." I watch Strausser leave the room, then immediately turn my eyes to Bass. He's only a few feet away, and getting closer. I back up but find myself against the wall quickly. "Did you see Miles, Lindsay?"

"Bass, you have to listen to me." I beg, putting my palms against his chest to stop him from coming any closer. I look up, straight into his eyes. "If I had known what he was planning, I would-"

"Stop _lying_ to me, Linds." He says softly, like a child who has just been insulted. "I just want the truth." I bite my lip and look away. But he grabs my neck and pushes against me, crushing my hands. "Just tell me the truth!"

"Yes, Bass." I whisper, tears of pain sparking in my eyes. "Ok? Miles came to see me that night. He... was really upset about something."

"Did he say what?" Bass asks, unrelenting in his grip.

"He said... he said it was the kids." I choke out, my breathing now more labored. "He said it was about his birthday... and asked if you'd told me about the kids. What kids, Bass?" I ask, desperate to know.

"What else?" He shouts, shaking me. "Did he say where he was going?" This is it. No matter what he does to me, I cannot betray Miles.

"No." I shake my head. "He just left, and I followed him, then I saw you. But I don't know where he is." He releases me and I fall back, leaning against the wall for support. He doesn't back up, but rather plays with a lock of my hair.

"I wish I could believe you, Lindsay." He says, mock sympathy clear in his tone and his expression. "But you weren't even honest about if Miles was here. So I'm giving you one more chance. Where did Miles go?"

"One more chance until what?" I whisper, my voice unable to work properly.

"Just answer me." He demands.

"I don't know." I insist.

"Then I'm sorry, Linds." He shakes his head. I'm about to question his apology when he grabs my shoulders and forces me into the desk chair. He pulls some handcuffs off of his belt.

"What are you doing?" I shout. I turn my head to see his face close behind me, looking down. Then I hear the loud _click_ of the handcuffs. "You son of a bitch! Let me go!"

"I can't, Lindsay." He sighs. "I need to know the truth. I need to find your brother. And I gave you a chance to tell me the truth." He walks toward the door and opens it a crack, murmuring something.

I watch as Strausser walks back in, carrying a faded red toolbox. My breath quickens and I start trying to pull out of my handcuffs.

"Bass, please." I beg. "You don't have to do this. Please, _don't_."

**"**Sergeant**,** go easy on her." He opens the door. "For now. Just get me that information. You know my limitations." He doesn't so much as glance at me as he closes the door. My head snaps down as Strausser slaps me.

"Just remember, Ms. Matheson." He smiles. "This is only going to get worse the longer you keep your silence."

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long! I was in Cincinatti all weekend and then I had "the Block"... but it's here now, so we're good, right? And this is _hopefully_ the last "11 years after" centric chapter.**


	8. Flight

**13 years after the Blackout**

The door opens and closes. I fight the urge to jump out of my skin. Sitting on the couch, my back is turned to the intruder. But I know who it is without a doubt.

"What do you want Bass?" I ask, staring at the dying fire.

"Can't I just come to say hello?" He responds, sounding hurt.

"You never do." I shrug. "Do you still want to know where Miles is, or do you plan on torturing me over a different question I don't know the answer to?"

"Don't talk to me like that, Lindsay." He snaps.

"I'm sorry, _General_." I retort. He snorts and moves to stand in front of me. My eyes flick up to his coolly.

"Watch it, Lindsay." He warns, his voice getting a dangerous edge.

"What do you want?" I repeat, wanting him out.

"I just want to see how you're doing." He insists. "Strausser was... brutal today." I keep my eyes trained on his until he looks away. "I heard your screams."

"And now you feel bad?" I ask doubtfully.

"Yes, actually, I do." He sighs, sitting next to me. He puts his hand on my upper leg. "I'm not a monster."

"Do _not_ touch me, Bass." I demand. He removes his hand but fixes me with a glare.

"This can end." He says firmly. "The torture, the nightmares, everything. Just tell me where Miles is."

"I don't know!" I cry. "How many times do you want me to say it?! I've never known! These past two years of torture... I've been telling the truth."

"No, you haven't!" He whispers. I can hear his voice start to tilt. That dangerous tilt that means that he's angry... and about to lose it. "I know your brother, Lindsay. He would never leave you without saying where he's going."

"What if I'm telling the truth?" I shout. "What if _Rachel_ is telling the truth?"

"Rachel..." He looks shocked I brought her up. "Rachel is dead."

"Don't give me that crap!" I hurl, standing up. The bruises on my legs protest, but I block out the pain. "I've fallen for that once, I'm not going to again!"

"I never told you she was dead before now!" He yells back. "That was all Miles. But now, it's true! I'll show you her body." I get in his face.

"Then... _show_ _me_." I breath. He grabs my arm silently and leads me out of the room and down some stairs.

We go down several flights, silent the whole way. I glance at him a couple times, but his face is stoic. This has to be a trick. If Rachel really was dead, he would not be so calm, right? He'd be freaking out. But then, with Bass... he's so bipolar.

He shakes my arm, prompting me to look up.

"We're here." I look up to see I'm facing a row of cells. In two cells over to my right, a woman, with blonde hair is laying limply on the stone floor.

"No." I whisper and jerk my arm out of his grip. I run to the cell, the door open, and kneel down next to woman. I gently turn her over. "Rachel!" I scream. Her face is bruised and her eye black, but there's no mistaking it. This is my sister-in-law. With a soft cry, I look for any sign if life. A pulse, a heartbeat, the movement of her lungs, anything, but there is 's dead. "What did you do?!" I scream at him. "What the _hell_ did you do?"

"I didn't want to," He starts. "But she wasn't cooperating, and maybe Strausser went a little too far, and-"

"A little too far!" I look up at him, enraged. "He killed her, Bass! She is _dead_!" I start to push myself off the floor when I see a pen sticking out of the dead woman's pocket. I glance up at Bass to make sure he isn't looking and then grab it, concealing it in my sweater sleeve. I stand then and walk over to him. "Bury her." I demand.

"What?" He looks at me.

"Take me back to my room." I say, not meeting his eye. "And then **bury** her. Bury Rachel."

"Are you giving me orders, Lindsay Matheson?" He smirks and puts his hands on my waist, pulling me against him.

"Let me go, Bass." I try to pull away but his grip tightens.

"So demanding..." He scoffs, bringing his lips to mine. His hand knots in my hair, pulling my head back so he can reach my lips easier. I pull away, gasping and bring the pen down. It barely touches his neck before he catches my wrist. His thumb presses hard into the inside of my wrist, forcing me to drop the weapon and cry out in pain. In a flash, I'm up against the bars of a cell, his weight nearly crushing me. "You are going to pay for that, Lindsay." He growls and grabs both my wrists in one hand. With the other, he holds a long knife. My hands being pulled in front of me, I stumble along, fighting the whole way. Today, though, no matter how many times this has happened before, I'm determined _not_ to beg for him to stop. I will _not_ cry at this monster's feet again. No, I will get out of this on my own.

Tonight, I'm going to leave. Even if means Bass raping me one more time. Rachel is dead. I don't have to stay for her. I'm going to find Miles, and then, I don't know. I don't care. But I _will_ get out.

I slip out of the bed, hunting in the dark for my clothes. Bass stirs and I freeze, not even breathing. He rolls over though, and drops back into deep sleep. And that's what whiskey does to you. My breathing slowly goes back to normal as my fingers grasp the sweater on the floor. I find the jeans too and pull them on, then the sweater. I inch silently to the door and pull it open. One of the guards is asleep. The other immediately at attention. He's young, probably just out of training.

"What are you doing?" He asks, putting his hand on his sword.

"I just..." I turn on the tears. "Please, I just want to go back to my own room." He eyes some of my worse bruises and nods.

"Follow me."

"Thank you." I whisper.

Once we're at my door, he unlocks it and opens the heavy wood. I start to go in but just as he turns, I cover his mouth and knock him out with my elbow. He drops and I grab his sword, dragging him into my room. I step around the body and throw some stuff into a bag. Clothes, half a loaf of bread left over from lunch, and a small blanket. I badly want to throw in some of my books but decide it would be stupid, they would slow me down. Despite that rational thinking, my eyes can't seem to move away from the _A Hundred Historical Places in New England_ book. I open up to the front cover, where a messy scrawl is written.

_Linds,_

_ So, happy 18th birthday. Damn, you're about to graduate, huh? Mom told me you want to major in history at Pittsburgh, so I thought you'd like this book. Whenever you miss me, just snap some photos of you in these places and put it in this book. There's not a place for it or anything, so just staple it or something. I don't know, I thought it'd be cool. Have a great rest of your senior year, kid._

_ I miss you, Linds, see you soon._

_ Miles._

_P.S. if you're still dating that Mark guy, dump him. He's an idiot and he's probably cheating on you. It'll never last anyway. You're too good for him. Love you, little sister._

I hug the book to me and slip it in the bag, then go for my clock necklace. It's been in my desk drawer for so many years, since Bass broke it, what seems like forever ago. I slip it over my head. I hunt for some shoes. Luckily, I still have my old travelling boots I bought way back fifteen years ago. I pull these on and strap them. Just doing that has worn me out a little. I lean against a pillar to catch my breath. How am I going to do this? My legs are nearly all purple from the torture. I have cuts all over my body and I'm thoroughly exhausted from fighting off Bass... and losing. Every damn time he wins. And last night he was... rougher than usual. But not anymore. No, I'm done. I pick up my bag and prepare myself for this next part. The only room where any window is going to be unlocked is Bass' room. And while the guards at his door may be slacking off, there's no way the ones at the main doors are. No, his top soldiers will be there.

So I have one option. Sneak back into his room and then sneak out. But first, hope that his window is, in fact, unlocked. I open the door, silently stepping over the body, and hurry down the hallway. Bass' door creaks a little, but he stays sound asleep. I sigh in relief and creep over to the window. Feeling around in the dark, I try to find the clasps on the thick frame. This isn't a window, though... it's a door, that leads to the balcony. I set down my bag and slowly find a latch. With a smile of relief, I turn it. The door opens, and the night air rushes in and hits my face. I exhale in a second of pure joy. I haven't been outside in two years. I haven't smelled the rain or felt the wind, in _two whole years_. I step outside, onto the stone balcony, but I'm jerked back, by my wrist. I spin around to see Bass, his hair ruffled, his torso bare, and looking angry. Not letting go of my wrist, he slams the door shut.

"What... the _hell_... are you _doing_?" If I thought his face was angry, it's nothing compared to his voice. I take a huge, quivering breath.

"I'm leaving, Bass." I whisper. "I can't stay here anymore."

"You're... leaving?" He snorts. "Ok, maybe you did get drunk last night. Get back in bed." He starts to pull me away but I stand my ground.

"No." I answer, my free hand on my sword. Luckily, it's dark and he probably doesn't know it's there. Unlucky for me, however, he has hold of my right hand, and I can barely fight with that. I'm not sure I can fight properly at all anymore.

"Lindsay," He says, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "I am tired, and I don't really want to deal with your crap right now. So get back in the damn bed!" I jerk my wrist away.

"I said no, Bass!" I shout. With a grunt, he backhands me, hard. I fall to the ground, gasping. Just as he reaches to drag me up, I pull out the sword and cut his arm. He looks at me in shock for a moment; a moment in which I scramble to my feet and away from him. His forearm bleeding, he stands.

"Linds..." He says, walking toward me. I hold the sword out. "Think about what you are doing, that is the second time you've tried to kill me in the past twelve hours. Just think."

"No, _you_ think!" I scream. Then softer, in a broken voice. "I have been in so much pain, Bass. Because of you. Every part of me hurts. I don't understand what's wrong with you, for you to feel the need to do this to me... but I can't sit around, trying to find out." He stops advancing toward me for just a second and then pounces, trying to get the sword out of my hands. We shout and fight for a bit, until my leg is split open. I scream in pain and kick him in the stomach. While he's still dazed, I hit his head with the butt of my sword. He drops and I limp towards the balcony. There's no one running to the room, but I guess by this point, my screaming is familiar enough to them.

I find some greenery, vines and things and swing over. I keep my eyes on Bass, or on the foliage, but not on the ground. I slip a couple of times, but manage to get on the ground... somehow. I immediately start running, as well as I can with a huge gash in my leg.

I don't stop for several hours, but eventually, I fall forward. Unable to move anymore, I let myself slump against a tree. The pain in my leg screams at me while I cut the fabric away from the wound, muffling a cry. My vision is starting to become spotted, but I force myself to concentrate, and get a shirt from my pack, ripping off a piece. Gasping, I wrap it around and around my leg, tying it in place. I fall back against the tree and allow my eyes to close, slipping into darkness.

* * *

** 2 weeks later**

I stumble through the street, barely able to lift up my head. I bump into someone, however, and as they shout something at me, I look up. I'm standing on the steps of _The Grand, _a hotel. I sigh. I'm in Chicago, but I still don't know where to find Miles. Or if he's even here. Maybe he did find Ben. Either way, I need food. And water. I haven't drinken anything all day, and its getting late. I haven't eaten in a week. My feet hurt, my body is still weak from... from Bass, and Strausser.

Dragging myself up the steps, I enter the dim room. Almost immediately, various voices call after me, trying to get me to come over to them. I ignore it and walk up to the bar.

"Exc..." I clear my dry throat. "Excuse me?" The man at the bar turns.

"You alright, Sweetheart?" He asks, mixing something in a bottle. "You look awful " I'm sure that's an understatement.

"I'm looking for somebody." I swallow, or try to at least. "His name is-"

"_Lindsay_?" I weakly turn my head to see Miles coming down the grand staircase. "Oh my God, Lindsay!" He trots over to me. "What happened to you? Are you... oh my God..." He keeps looking over my face, confused.

"Miles?" I ask, barely audible. He's about to answer, when I feel my leg crumple and I black out.


	9. We're in Chicago

**Author's Note: Hey, there, guys... um, ahem, I'm so very sorry that the whole escape/ Miles reunion was rushed. And this chapter is kind of pointless and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. But the next chapter, we'll meet some familiar faces. ;) Enjoy!**

* * *

**13 years after the Blackout**

My eyes flutter open. I look around frantically, and after a moment, I realize I'm not on the ground, I'm in someone's arms. I snap my head up.

"Miles?" He looks down and stops walking.

"Lindsay!" He breaths, setting me down. He keeps a hand on my shoulder to keep me up. His face fills with relief. "Linds! What... what are you doing here?" My head is pounding, and I'm really dazed.

"Miles..." I repeat. "I... I... where are we?"

"In a bar." He answers. "Well, a hotel, made bar. In Chicago."

"Oh." I answer. He starts walking again, guiding my shaking body. I think I'm going to fall over. He gets to a huge room, with another level ringing it, like a walking track. He leads me up the grand staircase in the middle up to the track and lays me down on a bed.

"What are you doing here?" He repeats. "Is... Bass...?"

"Bass." I answer. "Is insane." He nods.

"I've heard some of the laws passed." He says, mopping sweat off my forhead.

"I had nothing to do with any of those." I quickly whisper. "I even tried to stop him from doing some of them...but... but he..." Oh God, how can I possibly tell my brother that his best friend tortured me, raped me?

"Linds, what did he do?" He asks, holding my hand. "What did Bass do?" His eyes fall on the bruises that ring my wrist and arm. He makes a noise and shuts his eyes. He doesn't want to hear the answer. But he knows he needs to to help me. He slowly reopens his eyes and pushes aside my air to see the bruise on my cheek. "Oh God..." He touches a cut at my hair line. "Linds, you're burning up!"

"Yeah, the fever should be setting in."

"What does that mean?" He asks. "What's wrong?"

"I fought with Bass, before I escaped." I answer, looking down at my leg. He follows my gaze and inhales sharply. "I got cut. I tried to dress it, but..." He cuts away the fabric with a pocket knife and grabs some bandages. "No, Miles, can't we do this later?"

"Yeah, sure, Linds." He quips. "Just sit here. It'll magically stop bleeding while we sleep." I look at him, ready to quip back, but when he pours cleaning alcohol on the wound, I scream. "I'm sorry!" He says quickly.

"Just don't do it again!" I snarl. "Miles! No!" He starts pressing bandages on it to stop the bleeding. I muffle more screams.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He repeats over and over. The pain subsides as he slowly starts wrapping up the wound, around and around. He ties the clean white fabric and leans back, his hands blood covered. "You..." He pants. "Did not do a very good job." He sighs. "We might have to stich it, but..."

"Can I just sleep now?" I beg.

"Yeah." He nods. "Of course. Yeah, just, I'll be at the bar if you need anything." I nod, already drifting off.

* * *

I wake up a few times throughout the night, before I finally reached full consciousness. Well I assume it was night. There aren't any windows in here. But it had that "night feel" to it. Each time I woke up, I called for Miles, but he never came. Maybe I didn't actually call for him. Or maybe I did, but he isn't around. Maybe I'm just in some other room Bass put me in. Maybe Strausser is going to show up and hurt me some more. I gasp in fear and swing my legs off the bed, desperate to know where I am. I start down the stairs, gripping the rail. When the rail is gone, I stumble forward. I feel a hand on my shoulder and scream. But it's only Miles.

"Linds, what the hell are you doing?" He asks gently.

"I thought... I thought I was..." I look up at him, confused. "We're in Chicago?"

"Yeah." He raises his eyebrows. "Where'd you think you were?" I start to answer, but he waves me off. "Nevermind. Let's get you some breakfast." He guides me to some sort of kitchen, with an oil stove. He sits me down at a small, cluttered table and starts making something. After a few minutes, he slides me a steaming bowl of oatmeal. I start eating, my stomach thanking me profusely. He smiles at how fast I eat it and sits across from me.

"Thank you." I say, after a few minutes, when it's gone.

"Of course." He nods, but then frowns. "Lindsay, I know you don't want to, but you got to talk to me. Tell me what happened since I left, what happened to you."

"You're not going to like the answer." I say, shaking my head.

"I don't care." He looks in my eyes. "Tell me."

"After you left," I begin. "Bass went crazy. He- he was upset, furious, that you left. And he became someone I didn't love anymore. Someone I didn't _know_ anymore. He..." ok, here goes everything. "It started about four days after you left. We got in a fight, sort of, and he got really angry when he saw my clock." I touch it now. "He threw it and-"

"It's broken." Miles interrupts, moving my fingers. "He broke mom's necklace."

"Yes." I whisper.

"I'll find somebody to fix it." His eyes flick up to mine. "Go ahead."

"Miles, I really don't want to-"

"No, you need to talk about this." He insists. "You know how I know? Because you are exactly like me when it comes to this. You and I hate talking about our problems. But we always need to." I sigh and nod. He's right.

"Ok." I can feel the fear bubbling up in my head. "Like I said, he got angry, and... and he..."

"He... raped you?" He asks, his voice a mixture of shock and fury. I nod. "Because of a necklace?"

"He's insane!" I cry. "That wasn't the only time... he almost did it the next day at dinner. He was angry that time because Rachel told me about what he did to her, and-"

"Woah, woah, wait..." He stops, putting his hands up. " _Rachel_? She's alive?"

"No." I answer, getting a confused expression from my brother. "She is dead. But she _was_ alive. She only died a few weeks ago."

"Oh." He says, leaning back. "Go on."

"Ok... anyway, the day after he... yeah, at dinner," I look away. "He had Strausser search my room. He found... he found your whiskey bottle that I was too stupid to throw out. And then it started."

"What started?" He asking, brows furrowed.

"Everything." I sigh. "The torture... Bass not trusting me, him... raping me more."

"How often?"

"I don't know." I look at him incredulously. "Every night sometimes, others once a week. But a lot. He did it a lot."

"I'm so sorry." He says, after a few seconds of silence.

"It's not your fault." I respond.

"No, it is." He insists. "If I had never left, Bass wouldn't have..."

"But I should have come with you." I whisper. "You told me he might go crazy. You begged me to come with you and I stayed. It's my fault."

"No!" He shouts, slamming the table. "Don't you ever think that. _Ever_! It was not your fault! And you can never let yourself believe it was. Got it?" I nod.

"Yes."

"Good." He stands. "Now tell me about any injuries that need to be treated besides your leg."

"I have... a lot of cuts." I answer. "And bruises. But they're fine by now."

"And that's it?" He asks doubtfully, hearing the unspoken words in my tone.

"There's one more thing that should... probably be taken care of." I mumble. He looks at me expectantly. I unbutton my blouse, to reveal just above my tanktop line. He looks at the skin just over my heart in shock.

"What... the hell?" He asks, unable to pull his eyes away. I look at it as well. It's very familiar to me because I saw it every time I looked in the mirror. It's the insignia of the Monroe Republic. Bass' personal signature. Burned into my skin. "Who-who dis this?"

"Bass." I answer. "But Strausser held me down."

"Of course." He throws his hands up. "That psycho was always there, wasn't he? He's the one who tortured you too, right?"

"There were others. But, yes, he was the main one." I stand up. "Just the physical stuff. The... other stuff was always Bass." He shakes his head.

" I should never have given you choice. I should have made you come."

"You and I both know you couldn't have." I smile bitterly. "I'm much too stubborn."

"Well, that's true." He agrees. "What do we do about the... the burn?"

"I don't know. Bass gave me some ointment for it awhile back. But it still hurts sometimes." I shrug. "I don't know, I think the pain may be all in my head sometimes."

"Ok." He shudders. "Well, if anything hurts, let me know. I've got to get back to the bar. You hang out here. Read books, draw, whatever. You know where to find me." I nod.

He leaves the kitchen and after a few seconds, I hear the big doors open and close. I go and find my bag by the couch and pull out my picture book. Flipping through the pages, I smile. There's many pictures of me and Miles and Ben on family vacations. Hiking in Vermont, lobster fishing in Maine. Taped to the back cover, is us at the Liberty Bell. The summer after my freshman year of college, Bass and Miles took me on a roadtrip from Pittsburgh up to the tip of Maine. And I took so many pictures. This one is my favourite. Bass was checking out some girl and Miles was trying to sit on the Liberty Bell. So, naturally, I look embarrassed just to be seen with them. The funny thing was, Miles could have sat on the Liberty Bell. Philly was his. But he didn't... he was always too busy or too serious.

Miles. Even though he was the one who left, Miles lost his best friend, and his sister. Just the fact that he's here means Ben didn't want him back. He lost everybody. Oh God... why didn't I come with him? He's been alone this whole time, and if I know Miles, he hasn't trusted anybody. But not anymore. I'm here now.

I set down my book and walk out to the bar. Miles is there, behind the bar. I find a way to get behind it too and tap him on the shoulder.

"Hey." He says, surprised, not setting down the whiskeh bottle he's holding. "What do you need?"

"I want to help." I reply, taking the bottle. "In the bar, somehow."

"You want to be a bartender?" He scoffs. "You... who's never even gotten drunk?"

"Yes. I do."

"Ok." He shrugs, laughing. "I'll teach you. Do you want a drink first?"

"No." I say sharply. "I have seen what alcohol does to people." I lower my voice. "Bass was the worst when he was drunk."

"Fair enough." He waves his hand to stop me. He's heard all he wants to about what Bass did to me. More than he wanted to know actually. "Ok, first thing you need to know is, you're not starting until your leg is healed. I don't want militia to come in here and you not be able to get away fast enough."

"Fair enough." I echo his words. "What else?"

"Umm... oh!" He puts his hands on my shoulders. "You can't call me Miles when we're out here."

"Oh, yeah, sorry." I say, thinking back to yesterday. I nearly said I was looking for Miles Matheson... to a complete stranger. That was really stupid. I've seen the number of "wanted" posters on my way here. How is he getting away with this? "What do I call you?"

"My name around here," He says, grinning. "Is Stu Redman."


	10. Because We're Family

**Author's Note: Ok, so at this point I need to stress heavily. I own ****_nothing_**** expect Lindsay. Ok... alright. Noth-ing. A lot of dialogue from this point will be credited to Kripke & Co. Ooh... ok, enjoy.**

**15 years after the Blackout**

I dry out a glass rhythmically, watching people pass by the window.

"Miles, how do you do it?" I ask, absent-mindedly.

"How do I do _what_?" He asks, handing me another glass to dry. It's getting dark, but the bar is still full.

"How do you sit by and drink all the time?" I elaborate. "You know how bad it is. And I know you say it helps you deal, but-"

"But you don't need it to deal, I know." He shakes his head. "The answer to that, Linds, is simple. You are much stronger than me, kid. In that sense." He grins.

"Don't act like I'm not good with a sword." I grin back.

"I'm not." He nudges me with his elbow. "I'm just saying you're not better than me. And you never will be because I trained you."

"Ok, Miles." I roll my eyes. "You just w-" I stop as an odd looking group walk into our establishment. Two blonde girls, one of them older than the other, possibly her mother. There's two guys also. A chubby guy with glasses and an AC/DC tee and a younger guy with dark skin and close cropped black hair. The latter looks vaguely familiar.

"Linds," Miles calls, concerned at my abruptly stopped sentence. "Lindsay, you ok?"

"Has he... has he ever been in here before?"

"Who?" He asks, looking at the group.

"The one with the blue shirt and the bow." I nod to the dark skinned kid.

"I don't think so." He answers. "Why?"

"I... I recognize him from... somewhere." I cock my head to the side a little. "I'm sure of it."

"Hey, Linds, hey." He touches my arm. "You look worried."

"I just... I _know_ him, Miles."

"You've probably just seen him walking by."

"Yeah," I answer, not moving my eyes. "Probably."

"Hey, why don't you take a break." He pleads. "You've been working since seven this morning, go and read or something."

"Ok." I nod, tearing my gaze away from the boy. I put down the bottle I was drying and walk out the back door to the room. I go up to the upper level and sit on my bed, pulling _Great Expectations_ off of the bookshelf. I try to concentrate but end up reading the same line over and over again.

After a few minutes, Miles comes into the room, followed by one of blonde girls. He sits in a chair and she stands in front of him, so that he is facing me and her back is turned to me. I go to the railing and look down. Miles gives me a look that clearly says _'stay there'_. I nod slightly while he converses with the girl. After a few minutes, she turns to pick up her crossbow. I catch a glimpse of her face. Her eyes are remarkably familiar. She says something to Miles and then practically runs out, crying.

Familiar eyes and I recognize some boy? What is going on? I try to remember where I saw him? Really remember. And then it hits me. I remember him walking past my window, and then past me in a hallway, wearing blue. The hallway... is in Liberty Hall. He's on his way to see Bass while I was leaving. No one was escorting him... oh my God! I run down the stairs just as Miles is about to leave and catch his arm.

"Miles!" I gasp. "Who... who was that girl?"

"_That_..." He sighs. "Was our niece."

"Charlie?" I let go of him in shock. "Ben's daughter!?"

"Yeah." He looks away from me. "Lindsay, listen, Ben is-"

"Miles, I know that kid I recognized is with her, but you can't trust him." I take a deep breath. "Miles, he's militia. Probably just out of training, but he's militia. I promise." He sighs.

"You're sure?" I nod. "Ok. Stay here. If that kid really is militia, then stay here. I'll be back."

"But, Miles-"

"I've got to go, Lindsay." He insists and leaves.

That girl... is my niece. Charlotte Matheson. Her eyes.. those are Rachel's eyes. I feel my own eyes fill with tears at the thought of my dead sister-in-law. I wonder if Danny is out there, too. I desperately want to go out there and see but the fear of being caught and returned to Bass keeps me in the room.

Miles bursts back in, rubbing his head. Following him is Charlie, the blonde woman, and the fat guy. The three newcomers don't even notice me. But I _was_ standing in the shadows.

"Miles, what happened?" I ask quickly. They all turn and look at me in shock.

"What happened is you were right." He grumbles, sitting in his armchair. "The little bastard headbutted me." I sigh and go for the medicines cabinet.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Charlie asks.

"I'm..." I turn to face her. "I'm your Aunt Lindsay."

"Aunt Lindsay?" She repeats in shock. "You're... oh my God! My dad, he told me you were dead!"

"Well, I'm... I'm not." I say, with a slight laugh. "Is Ben here? Does he-"

"He's not here." She cuts me off. "He's... he's dead. My dad's dead."

"What...?" I ask, thinking I must have heard wrong.

"Militia killed him and took my brother." She continues. "My dad told me to come and find Miles, that he'd help us get Danny back. But-"

"But I said no." Miles finishes for her.

"What?" I ask in shock. "Why?"

"Because B- Monroe wants me alive and I don't feel like going." He says firmly. "I can't imagine you do either, Lindsay."

"Miles this is our family." I insist. "We _have_ to help."

"Look, Danny is bait." He shakes his head. "If we go for it, they're just going to kill him anyway." I sigh and look over at the trio. We walk over to them and I sit down while Miles stands in front of them, like a parent about to give a lecture.

"Uncle Miles," Charlie starts, "This is my fault. I'm... I'm so sorry." I expect Miles to be all _'yeah, it is your fault'_, but he doesn't.

"He's probably from the same unit that took your brother." He says instead. "Been following you from the get-go, hoping you'd flush me out, which is exactly what you did, isn't it?"

"So... What are you going to do?"The chubby guy, who's name I heard Charlie say, is Aaron. Miles opens one of his many liquor cabinets.

"This, as far as I know, is the last bottle of single malt in Chicago." He holds up the bottle. "My plan... is to sit here and drink it."

"_Miles_!" I reprimand.

"You can't stay here," Charlie protests. "It's not safe!"

"Whose fault is that? Your boyfriend. He's gonna go and get the nearest squad." He turns away from them. "Two, _maybe_ three hours tops is what you got. So if I were you guys, I'd hit the road."

"This is crazy!" She argues some more, walking towards him. And me, as I've gone to stand next to my brother. "Just come with us, or don't! But go _somewhere_! You can't just_ sit _here and _die_!"

"Miles," I agree. She's right."

"Just go." He ignores me.

"Uncle Miles, come _on_!"

"I said go." He says, then louder, shouting. "Get _out_! **Get out of here!**" The three, startled by his tone, grab their stuff and leave. Miles throws himself in his chair, and lifts the bottle to his lips.

"Miles," I start. "You're being rid-"

"Go with them" He says, not meeting my eye.

"What?"

"You have to go with them." He continues. "They might not give up on finding Danny but they will make sure you're away and safe."

"No."

"Linds, be realistic." He stands. "There will be two dozen soldiers in here soon. What if we can't take them?"

"What if we _can_?" I smirk. "You've trained me well enough. You stay, I stay." He sighs and shrugs.

"Fine."

I crouch down behind one of our bookshelves, watching the soldiers pile in.

"Come on, Miles," The militia kid from earlier smirks. "We don't want to hurt you."

"Well, I don't want to hurt them." Miles says, pulling out his sword. "You know, you could just go. You know I'll drink myself to death."

"You know we can't do that." He shrugs.

"Yeah." The next several minutes consist of Miles fighting. He gets to the bookshelf I'm behind, and picks up a gun. He nods to me as he fires it and the shot echoes. Miles continues fighting and I jump up, to many of their surprises. A few of them recognize me, however and grin. They didn't know I'd be here. A two for one, they think. I unsheath my sword, as a few soldiers start to come after me. I swing and lung and circle, just like Miles taught me, breaking a few necks. One soldier with bright red hair comes at me, and my sword lands promptly in his chest. More and more flood toward me until I can't see past the haze of dark blue uniforms. One grabs me from behind.

"Didn't know _you'd_ be here," He growls in my ear. "But Monroe sure wants you back... _bad_."

"Miles!" I scream. The soldier's hand grips my wrist, so I can't use my sword. "Miles, help-" He covers my mouth and I shriek, muffled. Miles looks up toward me as they start to handcuff me. I bring my foot down hard on the one of the soldier holding me, and he releases, just long enough for Miles' knife to whiz past my head and bury itself in his chest. I pull the knife out of his flesh and slice the throat of a man next to me. I elbow the man on my other side. I feel my skin split open on my arm and wrap my handcuffs around the soldier who did it. While I strangle him, I kick another advancing man in the stomach, then drop the now dead man and stab the one on the ground.

Breathing heavily, I pick up my sword, hands shaking, and walk down the stairs. Miles is fine, even more dead around him than were around me.

"Are you ok?" He asks, noting my shaking figure.

"Those were the first people I've killed in almost fifteen years." I say shakily.

"I know."

"I think... we need to sit for a while."

Maggie, the blonde woman, sits behind Miles, needle working. She's promised to stitch up my arm too, but his injuries were more urgent. Apparently, the three had come back for us. Miles, drinking his single malt, is having a hard time being grateful.

"You know, I didn't ask you to come back." He tells Maggie solemnly.

"Don't look at me," she replies, pulling the thread through his skin, "I wanted to let you rot."

"Why didn't you?" I ask, holding a bandage to my arm.

"Because we're family." Charlie speaks up. "It's what my dad would have wanted."

"Kid, if I'm going to come with you, you're going to have to dial it back a notch." I snap my head up.

"You're coming with us?" Charlie asks, grinning.

"Linds?" Miles asks me. I nod once.

"We have to,"

"Exactly." He sighs. "Loverboy will just send more troops. Can't stay here."

"Thank you." She sighs.

"You're welcome." Miles pulls the shoulder of his shirt back up. "We're all gonna end up with our heads on a stick, but you're welcome." I can't help but smile a little at how Aaron reacts to the head comment.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Miles and I are packed and ready, and my arm is cleanly stitched and dressed.

"Hey," Miles sits next to me, still on that bottle.

"Hey." I answer quietly.

"You doing better?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I nod. "I just... I'm a little scared."

"Linds, I'm not going to lie to you." He sighs. "This is dangerous. We're going to walk to Philly and get Danny back, though. And I will not let Bass hurt you again. I promise." I smile.

"I know." I hug him. "Thanks, Miles."

"Of course, little sister." He hugs back for a second and then sits back.

"Miles." Charlie calls. "Lindsay." He looks over his shoulder at her and I hop off the stool to follow her. After a second's hesitation, I feel Miles walk behind me. Charlie holds open the door for us and we walk out into the bright sunlight, the woods welcoming us just a few hundred feet away. _Here we go._


	11. The Bounty and the Bounty Hunter

**15 years after the Blackout**

Miles looks over at me as I start walking away.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asks, rolling up his sleeping stuff. We're about twenty feet off from the rest of the group.

"I'm just going to walk for a bit." He stands. "Alone."

"Ok, just be careful." He pleads. I nod and walk back towards the train tracks we passed earlier.

Trains. I used to love them. There was an old train depot in Jasper. Like, _really_ old. The train was original too, and used to run on Saturdays and Sundays. The depot was also a museum. It was that museum that got me interested in history. Mom and dad took us for rides every Sunday. I would sit and read the history articles that hung on the walls, Miles would pretend to be a train robber, or a cowboy. Bass would come, sometimes, too. And Ben would just sit there, bored with it. But I know that he misses those days, looking back. Well, _missed_. Oh God... How can Ben, my little brother, be dead? I

don't understand. I want to know who did it. I mean, obviously Bass did it, but I want to know _who pulled the trigger,_ who aimed the gun.

And Charlie and Danny... they're orphans now. And I don't know what they're doing to Danny... This is awful. I sit in an open car and put my head in my hands. Miles is right. Danny is bait. Why else would Bass want him? He's bait that we're falling for. We don't have a choice. We have to help. But I can't stop thinking that Bass is going to get me back. He's so powerful... he-

"Hey." I look up and see someone I was definitely not expecting.

"_Jacob_." I whisper in surprise. The bounty hunter grins and pulls out his sword. I pull out mine.

"Lindsay Matheson," He starts to circle and I follow suit. "Long time, no see."

"Yeah," I answer, keeping my eyes on his feet. "Can't say I missed you."

"I'm hurt," He says, with a fake pout. "Tell me,Lindsay, how do you like those new wanted posters?"

"Hate them." I wrinkle my nose. "They say my eyes are green. But Bass should know better than anybody that sometimes they're hazel. Brown, even, on some days."

"Well, let's be honest." He smirks. "Monroe never really was looking at your _eyes_." His travel down the length of my body suggestively. I shrug neutrally, though inside I'm burning with anger.

"So, you're still bounty hunting." I tease. Jacob has actually wanted to be out of the militia for some time. But Bass refuses to let his top bounty hunter go. "How's that going?"

"Great." His grin returns. "I'm about to return a highly sought after fugitive." With that, he lunges. I counter his sword with my own, the clashing echoing in my brain. I lunge and manage a small scrape on his arm. "You're alone out here?" He asks, while swinging.

"No," I move his sword away with my own. "_Miles!_" We fight some more but eventually, my brother runs into sight.

"Well, damn," He sighs. "You found us." He unsheaths his sword and runs headfirst into our skirmish.

Jacob is good, but not good enough to win against two trained fighters.

"Careful now," Miles warns, "Monroe wants me alive."

"That's true." The bounty hunter responds. "But he never said how many limbs." Miles makes a face and knocks Jacob out, pushing the body against a train car, poising his sword, ready to kill. I look away.

"Miles!" We look up to see Charlie, Maggie, and Aaron running toward us. "Miles, stop!"

"What?" Miles asks in annoyance.

"He's _unconscious_." She continues.

"He's a bounty hunter" He rolls his eyes. "probably not alone, either. Area's crawling with them."

"So what- you're just going to murder him in cold blood?" She asks incredulously.

"Yeah, Charlie," He sighs. "That's the idea."

"Miles, please" she begs. "Don't."

"Charlie," I step in, using a gentler tone than Miles. "If he wakes up, and finds us again, we might not be able to win again. I he wins, that means going b... to Monroe."

"But we can't just kill him!" She insists. Miles scoffs, but lowers his sword.

"It's like, one day into this trip." He says, "And you're already a pain in the ass... Alright," He turns to Aaron. "Come on, Chuckles."

"What?" The man asks, looking up.

"Help me get him in a boxcar." He elaborates, starting to lift Jacob. "Got to lock him up." They move away and lock the body inside a car.

* * *

"Oh great, they're having a sale on heroin." Aaron comments sarcastically. I smile. He has no idea how rough the world is, does he? But, he'll figure it out. Even in this small town. People are getting beat up, at the same time, there's some preacher. He's claiming that God caused the Blackout. Ok, then. I look to my right as several thuds sound. A man is being beaten mercilessly by militia. I hide my face with my hair in case the soldiers glance my way.

"What did that man do?" Charlie asks, noticing as well.

"It's the militia." Maggie answers her. "Could be anything. Spoke up. Looked at them sideways. Who knows?" Charlie quickens her pace to speak to Miles.

"Danny's riding with guys like that," She looks toward the brutal aggressors. "And we're- what are we doing here?"

"Told you." He replies, not looking at her. "I need to talk to somebody."

"Miles, wait." She stops him. "My little brother's out there somewhere. He hasn't been more than five miles from home since he was a kid and it's my job to look out for him."

"If you want to see him again, we're gonna have to go up against Monroe himself and a couple thousand of his men." He shakes his head. "I can't do that alone, I need help and my help is here. Be right back."

"Where are you going?" She persists.

"This little place called 'shut up and stay here'!" He turns to go.

"Not far." I elaborate. "Don't do anything stupid." I follow Miles, pushing aside a curtain. Behind it is a dimly lit casino. _She__** would**__ be here_, I think. Miles walks straight up to the desk.

"Hey," He tells the pit boss. "I'm looking for someone who plays cards here."

"A lot of people play cards here."The man shrugs.

"You would remember this one." He pulls out some gold and puts it on the counter. "Nora Clayton."

"What's your business with Nora?" He asks, taking the gold.

"I just need to know where she is, ok?" I glance away from the counter and see people looking at us shiftily. I nudge him, but he doesn't notice.

"Who's asking?" The pit boss asks.

"Don't you know?" A familiar voice says behind us. I swivel around quickly to see Jacob, standing confidently before us. "This is Miles Matheson, and his sister Lindsay." He looks my brother dead in the eye. "You should have killed me when you had the chance."

"That's what I said." Miles says, with an air of annoyance. "So how'd you get out?"

"I think I broke every bone in my hand trying to punch my way through the wood," He lifts his heavily bandaged fingers to show us, "but ... What can I say? You're worth it."

"I don't suppose we could call it a draw? You tell me where Nora is ..."

"With the price tag Monroe's got tacked on your asses?," He shakes his head. "I don't think so."

"Well..." Miles pulls out his sword, and I follow suit. "Why don't you give it your best shot? We'll see what happens."

"Ok," He agrees with a nod. "Let's see what happens." Some men enter, holding knives to Maggie, Aaron, and Charlie's throats.

"Yeah, I don't know them." Miles remarks nonchalantly. I glance at him incredulously, but quickly regain my composure. Jacob looks at me expectantly.

"Nope," I shake my head. "Don't know them."

"Really?" He argues. "They were walking around the train yard with you."

"So?" Miles asks, shrugging. " I met them yesterday. I've been trying to bang the British chick." I see Maggie shift to her other foot, embarrassed.

"Then you won't care if I slice them open." He nods and Miles watches passively. The man holding Charlie presses his knife harder into her throat.

"Miles!" I scream.

"All right, all right!" He protests at the same time. "Let them go." The men release the three.

"Miles," Charlie says.

"Not a word," he replies, dropping his bag and putting his hands up in surrender. One of Jacob's men moves to take my bag of my shoulders, and instantly I see Bass in the back of my mind.

"No." I answer, in protest. "_No!_" The man punches me and throws my pack on the ground while I'm still dazed. Enraged, I go to pick it up.

"Lindsay!" Miles shouts. "Just... _stop._" I look up to see the man grinning, slowly lowering his fist. He handcuffs me while Miles looks at me apologetically. He never yells at me anymore. Not since I escaped Philly.

"Let's go." Jacob says, pushing me forward. I walk next to Miles, my head down. My cheek is burning, and I'm embarrassed because the man who caused the burning is holding tightly to my arm. I refuse to look at him, but I know his eyes are on me.

"Hey," Miles murmurs. I ignore him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I ask coolly. "I'm not mad."

"I know." He sighs. "But I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled."

"It's fine." I answer. "I'm not a child, you don't have to be gentle with me."

"Good." He says, with a smile in his voice. When I look up, though, he isn't smiling. "Because this next part will be rough." He catapults into action, and quickly has his handcuffs wrapped around Jacob's neck, while I take out some of his men. "Is Nora here or not?" He shouts.

"No!" He chokes out.

"Where is she?"

"Probably dead by now!" He gasps, clawing at the chain around his neck. "She got arrested for stealing militia gold. They put her in some work camp south of here... in Fort Chatsworth, I think."

"Damn it." I whisper as Miles snaps the bounty hunter's neck.

"Let's go get the kids." He jokes, meaning Maggie, Aaron, and Charlie.

* * *

I watch as Maggie sits in front of my brother, trying to get his handcuffs off. _How does she know how to do this?_

"You know," He sighs. "It was probably all my fault. Yeah, it was. I blame myself."

"We made it out ok," Charlie points out.

"Mm, yeah, that went like clockwork." He says sarcastically. I look down at the clock around my neck. It still doesn't tick. We never found someone who could fix it.

"Swiss army knife, please, Aaron?" The British woman asks. There's some mumbling about phones and then Aaron hands her the tool. She still can't get them off.

"Here," I say quietly, moving next to her. "Let me try." I take the tool from her and gently work on the metal, my own wrists still cuffed.

"Charlie, next time I tell you I want to kill somebody, let me kill them." He looks down at me. "She's gonna get herself killed." I smile a little, as the handcuffs open with a _clink_. I quickly open the ones on my own wrists too. "Thanks." He mumbles and picks up his bag. I sigh and follow his lead.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asks.

"Learning my lesson." He replies. "We'll meet you in two weeks. Main street in Lowell, Indiana. you got that?"

"No, wait!" She stands. "You're leaving?"

"I got to go get Nora." He says, still annoyed. "We need her."

"Who _is_ this woman anyway?" She begs to know. I glance at Miles, unsure of how to explain our history with Nora.

"She's _really_ good at blowing stuff up." Is all he tells her. "We can't get Danny back without her. Trust me."

"Please, Miles just let us come with you!"

"Hey, you dragged me out here!" He shouts, then softer. "Lowell, Indiana. Two weeks." With that he turns and we walk away. I half expect Charlie to grab his arm and try to stop him, but she doesn't. We walk in silence for a few minutes, the sky darkening considerably. I shiver and pull my jacket on. "Sorry we had to leave at night." He apologizes, noticing.

"It's fine." I assure him. "I've faced colder... and darker."

"What do you mean?"

"Back in Philly," I say, struggling for words, and calmness of mind. "I wasn't always in a luxury room. I was in a cell, at times."

"Is that how you know how to get out of your own handcuffs?" He asks, awkwardly.

"Yeah." I answer, a little delayed.

"It was impressive." He admits. "The fighting, I mean."

"Thanks." I mumble.

"You're like Boadicea," He smiles. "That Greek woman." I smile a little. She's _Roman_. "What's wrong with you, Linds?"

"Nothing." I ask in surprise.

"You used to talk... all the time. We couldn't shut you up. Especially about history!" He stops walking. "Now you hardly say a word."

"Miles, it doesn't matter, I-"

"I know what Bass did to you was... repulsive and _horrifying_." He says quietly. I hold my breath for a second. "But I just want you to sound like you again." I resume walking until he joins me.

"Well, I'm not me, Miles." I say, barely audible. "I'll never be the same. I've changed."

"Everyone changes, Linds." He agrees. "But not always for the better."

"When will you tell her?" I ask in response.

"Tell who what?"

"Charlie." I say, like it's obvious. "When will you tell her you were the General?"

"Will you tell her who you were?"

"What would I even say?" I whisper. "_Ok, kid, listen. I screwed the man who killed your father and mother?"_

"Well, not that." He says immediately. "That's my point, though. The truth.. it's too complicated. Let's just focus on one thing at a time. Find Nora, then we'll go from there." I nod once and walk into the night.

**Author's Note: ok, so new chapter! Sorry it took a little longer than usual. Rate and review, always! A HUGE shout out to LLCoyote, A, castlefringereader, boasamishipper, and Wingman1! And anybody who read, of course. And all of my thanks to all those on the Revolution wiki and on Tumblr! I would _not_ still be doing this without the insane fandom! All of you are great. Keep writing and keep reading. And most importantly, keep being_ hopeful that someone will come and light the way! _ **


	12. Everyone Changes

"Damn it, Charlie!" Miles exclaims, turning the girl around. "You're killing me! What are you doing here?"

"I'm coming with you!" She insists.

"I told you I would come and find you!" He snarls.

"Not good enough!" She shouts. "You need to let me come with you!"

"Look, I get it. You want your brother. You've been _abundantly_ clear on the subject"

"No, you _don't_ get it!" She says, on the verge of tears. "You _need_ to let me help, okay?"

"Why?"

"Because it's my _fault_, Miles!"

"What are you talking about?" He asks, somewhat softer.

"_I_ took care of Danny." She says, shakily. "After my mom died, it was _me_. He gets these asthma attacks. So I had to watch him. I wouldn't sleep for more than an hour at a stretch, checking on him. Ten times _every_ night just to make sure he was still _breathing_. I didn't let him out of my sight, until the day that they took him, because I was off pouting like some brat." She takes a deep breath.

"Charlie," I say quietly. "It's not your fault."

"But if I was there, maybe I could have stopped them. Maybe my dad would still be alive. Maybe Danny wouldn't be off scared and alone. And if he gets sick, they're not ..." She trails off, unable to say the words, "Miles, I can't sleep. You got to let me help. I can't just sit there and wait." I definitely understand not being able to sleep. Forced to think about your worst fears. At some point, nightmares seem like a relief. But no matter how many times I closed my eyes, no relief would come. It still happens, sometimes.

"Miles, we have to let her come." I whisper.

"What if she gets us caught?" He asks, turning away from her so she won't hear. "Do you want to get caught? To go back to Bass?"

"You know that's the _last_ thing I want." I glare at him. "But what's the alternative? She goes back to find Maggie and Aaron on her own. Or she follows us anyway and gets caught herself. We have to protect her."

"Why?" He asks, not cruelly.

"Because I don't want Bass to destroy her life the way he destroyed mine." I look him in the eye. "Or kill me the way he did her mother. And I know you don't either."

"I'm sorry, you're right." He sighs, and turns to Charlie. "Come on, you gotta keep up." She smiles in relief and we set off.

We come to the edge of the woods and look out into a clearing. Before us is a group of a couple dozen prisoners, dressed similarly, pulling something. I let my eyes flow over the pulling apparatus to what it's latched to.

"Miles..." I whisper, "Look at what they're pulling." It's a huge helicopter, with the militia symbol plastered to the front.

"Crazy son of a bitch must actually think he can get the power going." He whispers back.

"Who?" Charlie asks, looking at the bird with a slightly amazed expression.

"General Monroe." He answers. It's kind of weird hearing Miles not call him Bass. "And if he does ... Imagine what he can do with one of those." One of the guards shouts something at the prisoners.

"What did those people do?" Charlie asks, a little horrified.

"Most of them probably just didn't pay their taxes," His eyes scan the people, looking for Nora. "That's Nora." He nods to one of the prisoners and I look closer. That's Nora alright. Dark hair, beautiful skin. I told her once I was jealous of her beauty. She had rolled her eyes and said, _'in the business I'm in, beauty doesn't mean a thing'. _

It's weird seeing Nora, strong, beautiful, bounty hunting Nora like this. She looks tired, and dirty, and miserable. But not the same kind of miserable as is evident on her fellow prisoners faces. I can't quite place it. Maybe it's just that they've been there longer than her.

The man in front of Nora falls to his knees in exhaustion. She whispers something to him while the guards yell ruthlessly. A man sitting confidently on a horse, the warden probably, sees what's going on and shoots the man. Charlie gasps, completely horrified now.

"I'll tell you something," Miles says in a strained voice. "I might be good with a sword, but I got Jack squat against a rifle like that."

Charlie is staring at me. I don't know why. We're waiting in a small cabin for Miles, who went to go get Nora. She's been staring at me since he left, about five minutes ago. It's just getting dark and we're about thirty minutes off from the work camp.

"You ok, Charlie?" I ask, trying not to get irritated. I hate people staring at me. I always have. But Bass accentuated that little quirk by staring at me constantly in Philly. Sometimes he'd come in, tie me to a chair, slap me around a little, then just stare at me. And then... nothing. He'd just leave. I hated it. It made me feel so... _exposed_. Which I technically was, I guess.

"Yeah," She answers shaking her a head a little. "I'm fine. But... can I ask you something?" Oh crap.

"Sure, yeah." I answer coolly.

"If you and Miles lived in Chicago all this time, why did you never visit or write?"

"Well," I think, wracking my brain for a lie. I honestly don't know Miles' reasons. I never asked. I don't know if he found Ben and Ben was disgusted with him or if he was too ashamed to find Ben in the first place. The former doesn't really sound like Ben. I personally never visited for two reasons. One, I was too scared to go anywhere far, in case Bass found me. Two, I thought it would be cruel of me to write to Ben and Miles not write, if Ben didn't want him to. "We couldn't find you guys. We searched for a bit, and eventually we gave up."

"Oh," She furrows her brows. "I thought maybe Miles just didn't care."

"Miles cares about you." I tell her firmly. "That's why he's so tough on you. You're stubborn and he doesn't want you to get hurt. He's trying."

"I know." She scoffs. "But I'm not a kid, I can do something." She gestures to how we're just sitting here.

"You're not a kid." I agree. "But you're not grown up yet either. And that's not a bad thing. But Miles... he's never had to take care of someone like you before." Well, that's not true. He had to take care of me. He still does. He taught me how to fight and everything, yeah, but that's nothing compared to the emotional crap he has to deal with. I would wake up screaming, my palms bleeding from where I dug my fingernails into them. The nightmares were awful. Usually of Bass, or Strausser, hurting me. Sometimes, they weren't dreams at all, but memories. They still happen, just not frequently, like they used to. And then there's the times I zone out. I _know_ Miles is talking to me. I _know_ he's trying to help me, but I can't seem to move or speak, or register that he's really there. Everything is kind of... foggy, unclear. Like it was happening on a television I was vaguely watching while I was doing something else.

Miles comes into our clearing with Nora on his heels.

"Give me some credit!" Nora says to Miles. "I'm working a job."

"What job?" He asks condescendingly.

"The sniper rifle." She says without a smile. "I'm stealing the sniper rifle."

"You went through all that trouble for a rifle?" Charlie asks, standing.

"Who the hell is this?" Nora asks, looking between her and Miles.

"I'm his niece." She answers.

"You have family?" Nora asks doubtfully. Um... hello? What the hell am I?

"Most people do." Miles answers, not even bringing up his sister. I step out of the cabin.

"Hey." Nora turns and looks at me in shock.

"_Lindsay!_" She exclaims, moving toward me.

"God, Nora," I say as she hugs me quickly. "You look like you're seeing a ghost!"

"I might as well be!" She says incredulously. "I thought... I thought you were dead!"

"You... wait, you thought I was dead?" I ask, looking between her and Miles. "_Why_ would you think that?" She glances at Charlie.

"After I left, I never heard from you, and... I assumed..."

"Well, apparently my brothers thought I was dead too." I shrug. "So... "

"I'm so glad you're not." She smiles. I smile back.

"Me too." I laugh. "But what 'job' are you talking about? Why are you here?"

"She got herself caught!" Miles says, mad. "To... to do _what_, exactly, Nora?"

"The sniper rifle the warden has?" She shrugs. "I'm stealing it."

"What?" I demand. "You risked your life for a gun? Why?"

"The rifle is more than worth it." She raises her eyebrows for emphasis, "The militia controls all the guns. So a beauty like that on the black market? _Priceless_. I was gonna sneak up, slit the warden's throat, take the gun, but now sneaking's kind of out." She looks pointedly at Miles.

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" He asks defensively.

"You weren't." She says firmly. "You were supposed to keep the hell away from me, remember?" I look at Miles, raising my eyebrows in question. He gives me a '_drop it_' look and says,

"Things are different now."

"Different how?" He hesitates, and she pushes his arm. "Different _how_, Miles?"

"Like me!" Charlie exclaims. "He's here because of me."

"Meaning?" Nora asks.

"Militia took my brother." She says, taking a deep breath. "And he's going to get him back."

"Seriously?" She cocks her head to the side a little. "What's your angle?"

"No angle." He shakes his head. "This is for real, Nora. And I want you to come with us. You owe me."

"For that amazing rescue?" She sneers.

"You know what for." He says seriously, keeping eye contact with her. _For what?_ I want to scream. _Why do you owe him? _

"Ok," She agrees. "But I'm getting that gun first."

"You're never gonna get close to that rifle, not now." Miles insists. "Not without him shooting you with it."

"You want my help?" She snips. "Then we're getting that gun." Miles sighs and goes in the cabin. Nora turns to me. "Want to take a walk?" I smile.

"Sure." We walk to the creek nearby and, after making sure we're out of ear range, she smiles and says,

"So, Miles is really doing this? Really going after your nephew?"

"Yeah," I answer, looking at the water run the way opposite we're walking. "His name's Danny. I haven't seen him since he was two but... he's family, you know."

"I admire that, Linds, I really do." She tells me. "I haven't seen my sister in a long time."

"I'm no saint." I argue. "My younger brother, Ben, is dead and I didn't even try to find him after I escaped. I thought about it, but-"

"Whoa, whoa, wait." She stops walking, grabbing my arm. "_Escaped_? From where... from- from Philly?"

"I misspoke." I say slowly. "When I say escaped, I meant-"

"Lindsay," She says, softly. "Why did you need to escape from Monroe? What... did he do to you?"

"Nothing." I attempt a smile. "Nothing happened. I just missed Miles and I left."

"If you don't want to talk about it," She allows. "I won't make you. But if you do, I'll always be here."

"Thank you." I say, my eyes glistening. She smiles and hugs me before we walk back toward Miles and Charlie. I look over at Miles and smile a little. He knows what I meant. _I'm fine_.

* * *

I quickly hand Nora supplies as she builds some sort of one-shot gun.

"Not exactly a colt .45," She admires her work. "But it'll do the trick."

"You're gonna shoot the warden?" Miles asks skeptically, leaning against the doorway, eating jerky. "With _that_?"

"Yeah, Miles, that's the idea." Nora quips back. I smile, remembering that Miles said the exact same thing to Charlie about Jacob.

"That thing only works from a foot away." He argues. "How are we gonna get close enough?"

"We sneak up." She says, with a '_duh_' tone.

"In broad daylight?" He asks, raising his eyebrows. "They know what you look like, and they'll kill me or Lindsay on sight."

"Or capture us." I add quietly. Miles nods.

"So I'll do it." Charlie announces, standing up. " Some innocent girl lost in the woods. I can get close."

"I like her." Nora smiles, walking out of the cabin. "I like her a lot."

"Forget it." Miles shakes his head.

"It's a good plan, Miles," Nora argues. "She just takes out the warden, and you, Lindsay, and I sweep up the rest."

"You can't do it." He insists. Charlie looks at me, hoping I'll get Miles to let her do it. I shake my head.

"It's too dangerous, sorry." I say, looking at her.

"I appreciate the concern, but-"

"No, no. I mean you actually _cannot_ do it." He corrects her. "You will choke."

"I won't." She defends herself.

"_You_, who bitched about me killing somebody in cold blood," He tilts his head. "you're just gonna walk up, shoot somebody in the face... for a sniper rifle?"

"It's not about the _rifle_!" She disagrees. "And it's not about you, or Lindsay, or her!" She nods to Nora.

"Really? What's it about?"

"The 30 innocent people down there who are working as slaves. And it's insane to me that neither of you have even _mentioned_ it. What the hell's wrong with you?" She says angrily, then turns to Nora. "So what do I have to do?" Nora smiles and puts the gun on her wrist and I help her tie it. Miles puts her jacket back on her, so that the sleeve hides the gun.

"Please", I look into her eyes. So much like Rachel's... "_Please_, be careful."

* * *

"Ok, _go_." I whisper, giving Charlie a little push from my crouched position. She walks out into the clearing and almost immediately guards stop her. They make her put down her crossbow as she apologizes quickly, insisting she was just hunting. They ignore her remarks and grab her roughly.

"Hey!" The warden calls out, "Take it easy. Bring her over here."

"This is it." I whisper to Miles. The guards pull her over, still not very gently, to the man on horseback. She stands in front of him and he looks down at her. _Don't touch her, you bastard_, I think protectively. Charlie is no longer within our ear range, but she exchanges some words with the warden and then raises her arm. He falls off his horse and we swing into action. They have guns, better swords, and numbers on their side, but we have Miles Matheson. He makes several kills in the time I make two, Nora close behind him. Charlie struggles with a soldier over the rifle, and Miles shouts something and kills the man. I pull my sword out of another soldier's chest as Nora gets hit in the side. A shot rings out and I look over to her, but rather than see Nora dead, I see a shaken Charlie lowering the sniper rifle.

* * *

I watch with a small amount of satisfaction as relieved prisoners walk away from their captivity. I can't help but smile at Charlie. She was right. These people had just as much right to be free as Nora. Miles sits next to her and they talk for a bit. From what I gather, she's not taking the whole killing thing well. Miles comes over to me after a second.

"She wants to talk to you." He murmurs in my ear.

"Charlie?" I ask, a little surprised. She's mostly kept to herself or bugged Miles.

"Yeah." He nods. "About killing, probably."

"Ok." I nod and walk over to her, sitting down. "Hey."

"You're different." She says immediately.

"Um... different how?" I ask.

"Different from how you were." She elaborates. Ugh, I'd rather not have this conversation again. "I don't really remember Miles. But I remember you, now. I didn't until we were talking earlier. You were around a lot." She smiles. "I loved your visits. You'd let me stay up late and watch the History Channel with you... on tv. And we'd eat ice cream. And you'd sit and argue with the television. I thought you were crazy, sometimes."

"Oh, I know I was." I smile at her.

"But the good crazy." She assures me. "The crazy that means fun times in the park, and- and ice cream for breakfast."

"Yeah," I laugh, remembering. "The good crazy." She's about to say more, when Miles shouts out.

"Son a _bitch_!"

"What?" Nora asks, tending her own wound. Miles pokes her back and I stand up to see the American flag tattooed on her back. The rebel symbol.

"Oh my God..." I whisper.

"Just relax." She tells us both.

"You're not selling that sniper rifle, are you?" He asks, accusingly. "You're gonna give it away to the resistance."

"Everyone changes, Miles." She says, not looking at us.

"Yeah, but Nora," I say softly. "_This_?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She defends.

"You joined the rebels?" Miles answers for me. "You?"

"What do you mean 'rebels'?" Charlie asks.

"You don't know about them?" I ask.

"A bunch of deluded, bleeding-heart-"

"_Patriots_." Nora cuts Miles off. "Trying to bring back the United States."

"They will lynch you on the spot for this!" He yells.

"Maybe." She agrees, then, looking straight at him. "Or maybe I'll take out General Monroe first." I shake my head, remembering my run in with the rebels all those years ago.

"Well, when you figure out how," I tell her, crossing my arms. "Let me know."


	13. This Much Blood

**Author's Note: Ok, so I should tell you guys that most episodes will divided up into two chapters. Obviously, Linds' involvement with the main plot will vary, especially when I get into the second half of season 1. So some episodes might be one chapter, some might be three. I don't know. This episode (No Quarter) is in two chapters. Without further ado, the first half. **

* * *

I look over at Miles out of the corner of my eye, then over at the gun strapped over Nora's back. It's what Miles has been staring at since we left Fort Chatsworth. He catches me looking at him and smiles.

"How are you doing, Linds?" He asks, moving closer to me as we walk. Charlie looks back at us. None of us have spoken for hours. It's been awkward.

"I'm fine, Miles, thanks." I answer, smiling.

"Ok," He nods. "I was just... that fight yesterday. It's... it's been a while for you. Since you've... you know..."

"Killed somebody?" I finish for him. "Yeah, I know. But I'm fine. I mean... I feel a little guilty, but I'm ok."

"Don't feel guilty." He shakes his head. "You didn't kill anybody that didn't deserve to die."

"Why? Because they were militia?" I ask, looking up at him. "Miles, what does that mean about you?"

"Shh!" He demands, looking pointedly at Charlie, then sighs. "It's not because they were militia. It's because they almost killed Charlie. And you."

"Miles," I look toward my niece. "Charlie and I were talking earlier and I don't want to be rude..."

"Just spit it out, Linds." He says, adjusting his pack on his shoulders.

"Did you ever find Ben?" I ask shyly.

"Oh." He says, in surprise. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I found him."

"Did he... or did you not..." I fumble for words.

"Did he not want anything to do with me because of who I was and what I did?" He asks, smiling. "No. He actually begged me to stay."

"That sounds like him." I add, with a sad smile.

"Yeah." He agrees. "But, I, um, I never even saw the kids. Charlie, or Danny. I showed up at night, and told him what I did and that Rachel was dead. He was upset and I asked what happened. I told him that I didn't know. He gave me some food and tried me to convince me to stay with him and the kids. I was going to, too."

"Why didn't you?" I whisper.

"I saw one of Bass' wanted posters of me." He replies, staring off into space, "And I realized I couldn't put him and the kids in danger, so I left. But we still talked. Wrote letters every few months. Just small talk. And then when Bass' searches became more and more thorough, we had to stop. Then... then he was dead."

"I had no idea." I whisper. He nods and grows silent again.

"We're almost there!" Nora calls. "We'll give the rebels the rifle, then we can go."

"Nora, come on." Miles pleads, moving faster to walk next to her. "Be reasonable."

"We've been over this, Miles" She says, exasperated.

"It's just ... a _gun_? Like _that_?" He nods to it. "Hard to find these days. You should keep it. Use it to get her brother back."

"The rebels need it more than we do." She argues.

"You're really serious about this, huh?" He says, skeptically. "Full-on rebel now?"

"Why is that so hard to understand?" She looks at him.

"Because I know you." He explains

"It's not like you to fight for a lost cause."

"I fought for us, didn't I?" She quips. I can't help but laugh out loud a little. She looks back at me and smirks. Miles glares.

"Um... is this a private conservation?" Charlie asks, looking at Miles.

"No." Nora says, walking faster.

"Yes. I'm just trying to look out for you." He matches her pace. "You really think you and your rebel pals are gonna bring back the United States? Really? They're gonna butcher you."

"I wonder if you really believe all that or if you're just scared of going up against Monroe?" She says, turning away from him and pulling back some bushes. We step through the shrubs into a parking lot. Before us is a dilapidated diner, rusting and falling apart.

"_This_... is your rebel base?" Miles looks at it condescendingly. Nora is about to retort when a few rebels start yelling at us. They try to restrain us.

"Take it easy!" Nora shouts. A really tall, muscular guy with dark skin approaches us.

"It's ok." He tells his men. They release us. "Nora! Thank God!"

"Nicholas!" She breathes. They embrace for a long time. I look over at Miles and grin. He shakes his head in annoyance.

"You got the rifle!" The man, Nicholas, says in amazement.

"Did you ever doubt it?" She replies, handing it to him.

"Hey. I'm Stu Redman." Miles speaks up. "This is Franny, and Susan." I resist the urge to laugh at him. Back in Chicago, I didn't have to use a fake name because not so many people were as familiar with my name as Miles. But, the Rebels? I'm sure they know who I am. But _Susan_? As in Susan Stern. I know Stephen King was just about the only thing Miles would read, but honestly, the irony is a little bit too heavy for me.

"They're friends of mine." Nora assures him.

"Listen," Nicholas moves on. "We've got a problem. It's bad."

"What do you mean?" She asks. He leads us towards the diner.

"So," I say, in a low voice to Miles. "Susan?"

"Yeah, it's from _The Stand_." He tells me.

"I know." I say back. "You don't see the irony in it though?"

"I don't really remember who she is." He admits. "Just the name."

"Well, I'll just say that Stu Redman saves her from... a pretty bad situation." I remind him.

"Oh. Well, you're welcome." He jokes. I roll my eyes, smiling. The smile fades the second we walk into the diner, however.

Inside are dozens of people, dead or dying. Charlie gasps and I let out a soft cry.

"Don't look," Miles whispers, guiding me by my elbow. I can't help but look at the people though.

"Oh my God!" Charlie exclaims.

"What the hell happened?" Nora asks Nicholas. Charlie goes over to help a medic with a severely injured man.

"We went on a raid this morning," Nicholas answers bitterly, "The militia supply dump out in Chatsworth. We were trying to score some guns, but it was a trap. Soldiers came from everywhere."

"Are all your people accounted for?" Miles asks, looking around.

"12 dead." He answers. "One missing."

"_Missing_? Was he captured?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" He repeats angrily. "What if he was? What if he's giving up your position?"

"And who are you?" Nicholas turns to him, then looks down at me. I look up at Miles and he's about to say something when Nora comes over and tells Nicholas we have to go.

"We're in no shape to travel." He argues.

"Guys, that man is dead." Charlie tells us, her eyes haunted.

"This," Miles looks around. "Is what being a rebel gets you." Nora looks at him angrily and pulls me aside.

"Explain this to me." She starts, keeping eye contact with me. "I know Miles doesn't care. But you, the Lindsay I knew, would want to help. Especially when the people in need of her help are trying to take the down the man who held her captive. So why don't you want to?"

"A couple of years before Miles left," I begin, looking at the American flag hanging on the wall. "Some rebels attacked Philadelphia. One broke into the building and tried to kill me. He would have, but Bass shot him. I'm a little wary of the rebels."

"Look, that's terrible." She admits softly. "But we're not him. We want to fight for freedom. And we can't do that if we're dead. So please, help." I look around, meeting some of the dying men's eyes. Then I nod.

"Ok." I reply, quietly. "You're right."

"Thank you, Linds." She smiles. "We won't be long." She goes over to Nicholas and they converse as she changes her shirt. Miles pulls Nora aside and the rebel comes over to me.

"Hey." He says, "It's... _Susan_, right?"

"Yes," I reply, maybe too quickly. "Yeah, I'm... I'm Susan."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just... I'm just not used to this much blood."

"Oh," He looks at his blood stained hands and wipes them on his pants. "Sorry. But you're with Nora. And she sure can shed some blood." He smiles a little.

"Are you two... like..." I asks, awkwardly. There has to be a reason Nora would join the rebels. Maybe Nicholas is that reason.

"Dating?" He asks, surprised. "No, oh no...Nora is great, but I'm a Catholic priest."

"Oh!" I exclaim. "You're a... You're a priest." He smiles.

"I know, it's hard to believe. What with all the violence." He pats me on the shoulder and walks away. Miles replaces him.

"So... we're staying, I guess." He grumbles.

"I know."

* * *

_I_ _sit on my bed, my hands out in front of me, bleeding. A strand of hair falls into my face and I go to push it back. My hands however, scream in protest and I let out a soft cry._

_The door opens and closes without any warning and within seconds, Bass is standing over me._

_"How are you, Linds?" He asks, looking at my mangled hands._

_"What do you want, Bass?" I reply, not looking at him._

_"To see how you're doing." He answers. He pulls up the desk chair to sit next to me on the bed. He picks up one of my hands, and I cry out in pain. It feels like needles are being forced into my skin. Well, what skin is left on the palms. "What did he do?" He whispers, rhetorically._

_"He didn't tell you?" I ask bitterly._

_"No," Bass replies, holding both of my hands in his. "I'd rather not know." I let out a dry laugh. "What?"_

_"It's just..." I look at my disgusting hands. "You can stand to send torturers in, to hear my screams, but you can't face what is causing it."_

_"I don't like hearing your screams." He argues softly, picking up some bandaging from my nightstand. I'd tried to apply the white cloth myself, but the pain was too great. My fingers twitch, I'm immediately in searing agony. He puts down one of my hands and start wrapping the bandage around the other._

_"I don't need your help, Bass." I snarl, and try to jerk my arm back. He grips my hand to stop me and I scream in pain._

_"Yes, you do." He moves his hand up my hand to my wrist, and resumes wrapping. I stay silent the whole time, watching his hands and face carefully to make sure he doesn't try anything."I hate seeing you like this, Linds." I say nothing. "So hurt." He ties the bandage. "Would you please just tell me what I want to know?" I stay silent, tired of saying 'I don't know.' His hand pushes the loose strand of hair behind my ear, then trails down my cheek. I inhale sharply. Don't do this. Not again. Not now, not after today. "Do I scare you? Being so close?" I try to ignore him as his hands go to my other hand, wrapping it up the way he did the other. "Do I?"_

_"Does it matter?" I whisper. He lets out a low chuckle, and moves off the chair and onto the bed. His hands don't stop wrapping as he settles across from me. His knees are just barely touching mine. I'm sitting cross-legged, and he kneels before me._

_"I just want to know," He says, finally. He finishes his work, and puts his hand on my knee, moving it up my leg slowly, and leaning over me. His face isn't even an inch from mine._

_"Move away," I say, a tear slipping out. "Bass, please." He sighs and kisses my cheek, then my lips, my chin, my neck. He kisses my neck several times._

_"Tell me..." He whispers against my skin, his breath hot but still sending chills up my neck. He moves back the loose sleeve of my shirt and kisses my exposed shoulder._

_"Yes." I cry out softly. "Bass, you're scaring me. You're terrifying me." He looks a little stunned. Which I don't understand. After threatening me all the time, did he really believe that somehow I still felt safe? Yeah, sure, there was a time when being in Bass' arms was the only thing that could make me feel safe. But that time is gone. Now, I never feel safe. I never am safe. He looks at me, apologetic almost, and gently lifts up my sleeve. He slides off the bed._

_"I'm sorry." He says, unexpectedly. "I'll have someone bring you some books tomorrow morning."_

_"How will I turn the pages?" I ask, only coherent to myself. He heard me say something, but disregards it._

_"I'm sorry." He repeats and leaves, the door shutting behind him_


	14. Have You Heard About the Mathesons?

"Lindsay!" Miles screams. "Get under cover!" I crawl over to Miles and hide under a counter.

"Where the hell did the attack come from?" I ask, shouting over the bullets. He grabs my hand and pulls me closer.

"I don't know." He shouts. "Just stay down!" I nod, and look over to see Nicholas praying over a kid. A _kid_, younger than Charlie. I look over at Miles.

"Miles," I point to the kid who's now dead.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna do something." He assures me. "You'll be fine." He jumps up and pulls Nicholas to the back room. I follow him. He sends one of the rebels to shoot the sniper rifle from the roof. Nora is trying to calm Charlie down. Miles hands me a spoon. We start digging through the plaster.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?!" Nicholas shouts.

"Pardon votre français, Père." I mumble under my breath. Miles gives me an odd look.

"We don't have the proper equipment - shovels or tools or anything!" The priest continues.

"So we'll break the legs off chairs. Use kitchen tools" He hands me a brick, that I set on the ground, "whatever we got!"

"Chair legs?" He asks incredulously. "To dig a tunnel?"

"He's right," I wipe my forehead with my arm. "We'll never be able to-"

"There's a lot of men up there, okay? Sooner or later, they're coming in. So we are gonna shawshank our asses outta here." He pushes my hand and my spoon toward the wall. "Come on!" I sigh and keep digging at the plaster.

"Where are Charlie and Nora?" I pant.

"Making a bomb," He answers, swapping his spoon for a table leg. He hands me one and I resume digging.

The endless digging goes on for a while. I don't think we're getting anywhere, honestly. But Miles is so set on this working, and he's never failed me before.

"Hey." He says not, not ceasing his work. "What'd you say? Earlier, when Nicholas was busting my ass for digging?"

"I said," I reply, with a feeble laugh. "I said 'pardon your French, father'. In French. I don't know, he just said, 'what the hell...' and it seemed kind of ironic."

"You," He says between breaths. "Are something else, Susan."

"Thanks." I smile. "You too, Stu." He laughs but is cut off by the tunnel collapsing on itself. He dives inside to pull out a man, whose name is Albert, judging by the rebels' screaming.

"What now?" Nicholas asks, nodding to the rubble.

"I don't know, dig it out again, I guess." Miles answers. Suddenly, the constant stream of firing bullets stop.

"And we're out of ammo!" Nora inserts.

"We don't have time to dig another tunnel!" Charlie bursts.

"Then what's your brilliant idea?" Miles asks.

"We fight back!" She answers bravely.

"There's 50 men up there." He retorts. "You cannot stop them."

"You know, that's what my dad used to say." She says, "Every time the soldiers would come into our town, and they would take our crops and our women." Woah, wait... _what_? What the hell was Bass having his soldiers do? "I bet he said it the night they came for him."

"And he was right!" Miles says back, not phased by her words. "He was trying to protect you."

"He was being a coward!" She argues angrily. I gasp and Miles gets right in her face.

"Don't ever, _ever_, disrespect your dad!" He shouts. "Are we clear?!" There's a huge explosion from the front room. "Tripwire! They're coming in!" Charlie runs out, and Miles calls after her, then runs out into the growing mêlée. I pick up my sword and follow.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fighting a few familiar faces. Some of them I can identify by name: Burkes, King, and... is that Baker? Damn it, _Jeremy Baker_ is here? What that man has done to me... I don't even want him to see me. I pull my sword through the air, slitting the throat of one of the last soldiers. The rebels take out the rest. I look around wildly for Miles. Miles, Charlie, Nora, even Nicholas... where are they? I begin searching rooms until I hear low voices.

"Who's Miles?" Nicholas asks. Oh crap. Oh no. How'd they find out?

"You know this guy?" Charlie's voice asks, a little louder. I'm close. I try to open a door, nothing inside. I try the next. Locked.

"This is Miles Matheson, commanding General of the Monroe Militia." Jeremy? They caught Jeremy Baker. "A damn founding father of the Republic. Second only to Sebastian Monroe himself. He taught me everything I know."

"Miles?" Charlie asks, her voice the pure definition of disbelief.

"I'll slit your throat!" Nicholas shouts.

"I thought we were all about forgiveness?" Miles retorts.

"Christ forgives!" He shouts. "I'm not Christ!" Fearing for my brother's safety, I bang on the door. Miles opens it.

"Oh thank God!" He whispers, pulling me into the room and shutting the door behind me. "I had no idea where-"

"-And _Lindsay_ is here too?" Jeremy asks, sounding delighted.

"What about her?" Nicholas asks, glaring at me.

"God, you guys really let in anyone don't you?" Baker jokes. "Like I said, Miles Matheson, General. And this is-"

"Please," I stop him. "Please don't."

"And this is Lindsay Matheson." He ignores me. "Monroe's _whore_."

"Do _not_ call her that!" Miles growls.

"Oh, sure it started out differently," Baker sneers. "But by the end, that's basically what you were, right? You'd come in, Monroe would screw you, then what? He'd kick you out of his bed and say 'see you tomorrow'. That's pretty much my definition of a whore, Lindsay."

"Well, I think you left out the part where the 'screwing me' was actually _rape_!" I shout. "And the part where he had you _torture_ me!" I cover my mouth, not quite believing I just said that. I look over to Nicholas and Charlie and Nora. Rather than glaring, Nicholas and Charlie are now fixing me with looks of pity. "Stop looking at me like that," I whisper.

"Ok, yeah." Baker agrees. "But don't you rebel folks go thinking she's a poor, pitiful saint. She's written and dictated more laws than probably Mile here. The Baltimore Act? I'm sure you know it, yeah, I think your name is actually in that one, Linds, am I right?"

"Shut up!" I yell.

"This is so dramatic," He sneers. "Do you guys remember _One Life to Live_?" He and Miles shout at each other for a bit, but I'm zoned more I look at Jeremy Baker, the more I'm remembering the terrible things he did to me. My hands, I can still see what they looked like. I can still feel the pain. It was awful. It was terrible. Worse than Strausser. Because I _knew_ Jeremy. He walked next to me for years. I helped Miles teach him how to handle a sword. I slip out of the room upon Miles request, only half aware of what's going on. I walk down the hallway and into the main room, now covered in blood, and bodies. Kids, women, militia, rebel, everybody... dead. I don't want this to become a normal sight for me. But I also don't want to feel sick every time I'm in a fight.

But I'd probably feel sick anyway. Because Jeremy is here. I'm starting to get really worried about Danny. What are they doing to him now? Right now? Are they torturing him? Or is Bass trying his whole "nice guy" approach until he gets fed up with him? My heart twists, thinking about it. I can't even picture what Danny looks like by now. I'm seeing him as a two-year old. I wonder if he looks like Ben. Or Rachel.

My sword hits my hip as I walk and I look down at it. Tipped in blood. My brows furrowed, I back up against the wall, sinking down. I'm only there for seconds when Miles walks through, in chains, followed by Jeremy.

"Miles?" I call panicking.

"You better tell her not to move," Jeremy tells him. "If she attacks us, I can't help but restrain her."

"Lindsay!" Miles calls, as I stand and move to go after them. "Do not move. Do you hear me? _Don't_."

"What are you doing?" I shout.

"Turning myself in." He admits, still walking. "Only way to keep you, Charlie, and Nora safe."

"Miles, no!" I shout. "You can't!"

"Lindsay, I swear to God, if you try to help me..." He trails off as Jeremy pushes him through the door. Nora, Nicholas, and Charlie stand in the doorway, just watching. I try to run after him, but Nora catches my arm.

"Linds, Lindsay, stop!" She tells me firmly. "Miles didn't do that so you could get caught."

"Nora!" I shout, pulling my arm out of her grip. "You don't understand! I know what Baker can do to him. What he _will_ do!" I run after them. I sneak up behind one of the soldiers and slit his throat. I go behind Baker and plunge my sword into... _nothing_. Where'd he go?

I feel a blade at my neck and he's there. He twists my arm around my back, and I cry out in pain.

"Now your brother told you not to come after us." He whispers in my ear, pulling my arm at an unnatural angle. "So that was just plain stupid." He whips me around so I'm facing him and pulls me closer, his chest just an inch away from mine. He pulls out a length of rope and picks up one of my hands. "Does this remind you of anything, Lindsay?" I glare at him as he ties the rope around my wrists, and then to a horse. He walks beside me, with Miles on my other side.

"Damn it, Lindsay." My brother says, under his breath. "I told you not to come-"

"I've heard it once, Miles!" I snap. "I don't need to hear it again."

"You know," Jeremy says, nudging me. "I was just telling Miles that Monroe is different since he left. But even more so after you did. And because you escaped while_ I_ was on guard..." He blows out of his mouth. "It wasn't pretty." He punches me then, and I grasp at the rope so I don't fall. Still, my knees are bleeding.

"Leave her alone!" Miles shouts.

"That was for what I got when you left." Jeremy growls at me. I look straight ahead, refusing to give him the satisfaction. We walk onto a bridge, and then there are explosions all around us. I let out a quiet scream until I see Nora and Charlie jump onto the bridge. They take out a few soldiers. Nora frees me and Miles and we fight too. Miles is locked in a fight with Jeremy when Nora shouts for us. He abandons the duel, pushing Jeremy to the ground, and runs after me. Charlie fires a final shot from her crossbow and there's another huge explosion. We run like hell.

* * *

We stop eventually, in the woods, going at a slow pace now.

"Alright, let's hear it." Miles says, looking at Charlie.

"Hear what?" She asks, seemingly confused.

"Tell me I'm a monster." He spits out. "That I'm garbage. Miles Matheson, _general of the militia_. Come on, I wanna hear you say it."

"I'm not gonna say it." She refuses.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't think it." She says with no emotion.

"Yes, you do. How can you not?" He rolls his eyes. "You don't understand, Charlie"

"So tell me." She demands. "I want to understand."

"No, you really don't."

"Well, fact is you still saved all those people back there." She smiles, raising her eyebrows. "So obviously there's a part of you that still gives a crap."

He shakes his head, "You're wrong."

"No, she's not." I reply. "You still care. About your family, about doing the right thing."

"Maybe," He agrees, with a grudging tone. "But I still don't like the rebels."


	15. You Can't Leave

**Hey, there, guys. I ****_know_**** it's been forever since I've updated. But (excuse time, I know) school and work have been insane. But there is something to discuss. Like I've said previously, most episodes will be two chapters or so. That means this story will be either very long or pretty much never end until the show does. Unless I kill off Lindsay and I would really RATHER NOT do that. I like her a lot. I don't know. Opinions? Anyway, part one of Plague Dogs.**

_ I look up as the door opens. I hear Miles, and an unfamiliar voice. I drop my dolls on my bedroom floor and hurry down the hallway. Before me is my brother, and a boy I'd never seen before. He had curly blonde hair and startlingly steel blue eyes. Miles notices me, and then Ben behind me. _

_"Oh, hey Linds, Ben." He greets. "This is Sebastian Monroe. He's new", Ben stares at him, and waves once, then turns back to his room. I smile, _

_ "Hi, Sebastian." I say, shaking his hand. "I'm Lindsay."_

_ "Nice to meet you, Lindsay" the boy replies, shyly. "Please, call me Bass."_

Charlie pushes herself up as Miles looks down at the soldier. Nora compliments Charlie on her fake thief scam and Miles speaks to the soldier.

"My name is Miles Matheson." He says, the slightest hint of irritation in his voice.

"You're joking?" The soldier asks, his voice a mixture of shock and fear.

"No. And all the stories are true, by the way. So, when I ask a question, you answer. Okay?" The soldier nods. Of course. No one is going to go up against Miles Matheson. "Captain Tom Neville. You know him? Dark skin, eyes that kinda look right through you? He'd have been passing through this way. You got the only weigh station for miles around."

"He was here, all right." He quickly answers.

"He have a prisoner with him?"

"A boy, nineteen maybe, blonde hair." That sounds about right. Danny would be, what by now? Seventeen?

"Where they headed?" Miles continues.

"Noblesville." Noblesville? That's not far from here! For the first time, I actually have hope that we may be able to get Danny. That it's _possible_, even.

Miles knocks the soldier out and we head out again, going towards Lowell, Indiana.

"What stories does that guy know about you?" Charlie asks Miles. "He looked like he was about to wet himself." That's a good question, I have to admit.

"Come on, I told you it's none of your business, all right?"

"Look," She stops him from walking. "And, normally, I'd agree, except every person that we meet wants to capture you, kill you, kill _us_ for knowing you, or they're flat-out terrified of you."

"Charlie," I say, touching her shoulder. I can tell Miles is getting frustrated. "Listen..."

"We are so close to catching up to Danny by what, tomorrow?" She looks between Miles, Nora, and I. "And I don't even know who I'm walking with or what I'm walking into."

"Damn it, Charlie, shut up! Let it go!" He shouts. "I don't owe you an explanation, I owe you nothing! All right?! If you want your brother back, drop it. Or I swear to you, I'm out of here, and you can find him yourself." She glares at his back as we continue walking. I can feel her eyes on me, but it's a few minutes before she says what she wants to.

"Do you think Danny is ok, Lindsay?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm sure he's fine." I assure her. I hope I'm not lying.

"It's just, you were with the Militia for a while, and... and..."

"Charlie, what are you asking?" I ask cautiously.

"I'm asking who you are." She says, after a pause. "I'm getting nothing from Miles. At least let me know something about one of you."

"I'm not an easy subject to talk about, Charlie," I tell her, not meeting her eyes. "But if you must ask..."

"What did Baker mean, 'Monroe's whore'?" She asks. I inhale sharply. "I mean, I know... what he did to you. But he said it wasn't always like that. What's the Baltimore Act?" Who were you?"

"Before Miles left, Bass and I were together." I begin.

"_Bass_?"

"Uh, General Monroe." I correct myself. "We'd been dating since... before the Blackout. I thought he loved me. But... he went crazy. And he thought I could get him to Miles. And when I told him I didn't love him anymore, it made him really angry. I don't know what was inside his head, but... yeah. I escaped after four years of indescribable horror and found Miles. He's been keeping me alive since."

"That's why you always go along with Miles." She remarks. "Even when you don't agree with him."

"I go along with him because he's the only thing that's ever kept me from going insane." I counter. "Because I _trust_ him. And without him, Bass would probably have me back by now."

_I sit across from Sebastian, Bass, at our table. We never eat here. Except birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, stuff like that. And apparently when new kids come over. _

_ "So, Bass?" My dad speaks up, drinking his water. "Where did you move from?"_

_ "Philadelphia." He answers, politely. _

_ "Oh, really?" My mother asks, interested. My mother is always interested, it seems. "We went up to Philly last summer. Linds loved it, didn't you, sweetie?" _

_ "Yeah," I agree. "We visited Liberty Hall and everything! It was so cool! That was where they signed the Declaration! And the Constitution! Thomas Jeff-"_

_ "Next time I go to Philly," Miles cuts me off. "I'm gonna sit on the Liberty Bell!" He grins and Bass grins back. _

_ "What did you like about it there?" My mother asks. _

_ "I don't know," He shrugs. "It was alright. I really like it here though. I might go back, someday." _

_ "I'll come with you!" Miles says eagerly. _

_ "Me too!" I add, grinning at my new friend. _

I squint, looking into the dilapidated town square.

"Miles," I point. "There's Aaron and Maggie. They made it." Charlie grins and we quicken our pace. There's some teary reunion but I settle for just a nod at each of them. Miles tells them how close Danny is and we immediately set off again.

We've only walked for a few minutes when there's a low, guttural noise. Miles throws his torch over to illuminate some dogs tearing up a deer carcass. That's disgusting! The mutts look over to us and growl.

"Miles?" I whisper.

"_Run_!" He shouts, tugging my arm behind him. Why is he so much faster than me? My feet pound the ground heavily, but I can feel the dogs right behind me. The six of us scale a fence, but not before Aaron gets his leg bit. He screams. Maggie shoots the dog and we pull him over, getting a distance from the dogs, and then set him down. Maggie immediately tends his leg. I help her. sterilizing stuff first.

"Miles is going to be pissed," I say, with a slight laugh.

"Why's that?" The British woman asks.

"I'm using his whiskey." I smile, holding up the bottle. Charlie walks over, a heartbreaking expression on her face.

"Charlie?" I ask, standing and moving out of Aaron and Maggie's ear range. "What's... what's wrong?"

"Miles is..." She breaths in deeply. No tears. "Miles is leaving."

"_What_?" I ask, deep in disbelief.

"That's what he said." She replies, not looking at me. "I guess you should go pack." I stomp over to Miles.

"You are _not_ leaving!" I whisper.

"Yeah, Linds, I kind of am." He avoids my eyes.

"We can't leave her! Not Charlie!" I insist. "She's... she's our family."

"I'm not asking you to come with me." He says in low voice. "But I have to leave."

"Why?" I shout.

"Because I don't want her to get hurt!" He shouts back. "Her mother and father are dead because of the militia! Because of _me_, Linds! People who are around me get hurt. So I'm leaving. And I don't want you to come."

"You really think I'm better off without you?" I muse. "_Really_? Miles, I'd be dead by now if it weren't for you. Or back in Philly. And that'd be worse. And what if we get caught? And what about Nora? We don't... we're not you!"

"Linds." He says firmly. "I have to."

"And what do you expect me to do?!" I demand. "I need you."

"Find Danny, or don't, but don't come with me." He looks at the ground. "I'm doing this for you too, you know." I slap him, right across the face.

"Don't you _dare_!" I whisper-shout. "You're leaving for _you_! Because you don't want the responsibility. I get it, Miles. I know you _hated_ taking care of me! I know I was a pain in the ass, and now you're just trying to use your '_dangerous presence'_ crap to shrug off the responsibility! And I know I shouldn't be mad about it! And I'm not, not about me, but about her!"

"Lindsay," He says, in an astounded and confused sort of way. Why the hell should he be confused? "How can you possibly-"

"Just save it, Miles." I snarl. "I'm going on a walk. Go ahead and be gone by the time I'm back. I hate goodbyes." I walk away from him, pushing tears back.

Once I'm past the clearing, I break into a run. I trip over a rock and fall, my hands becoming bloody. I swear loudly and sit up on my knees. Although my hands are burning, I pick up the rock I tripped over. It's fairly large but I start slamming it against the ground.

"Damn it!" I scream, not giving two craps that I'm talking to myself. "Dammit, dammit, _dammit_!" I start throwing smaller rocks at a small log cabin before me, rundown. I break a window and some logs fall out of place, but I'm not done. I shout random profanties, running into the house. There's nothing inside but broken furniture, among it a broken mirror. I stop shouting for a seconds to look in it. I look the same as I always have. Chest length brown hair, big, greenish eyes, small nose. But I'm different. Not just because I'm bleeding and tearstreaked, but because of life. I've looked different since Miles left Philly. Miles... I can't blame him for leaving. Or for wanting to leave now. And I have to tell him that. I have to say goodbye. He won't leave forever though, right? He'll come back, of course. What if I lose it again? No one else can help me... I inhale sharply and walk quickly out of the house.

Standing before me, though, is a kid with dark skin and a well muscled figure under his too tight shirt. And I know who he is.

"_You_..." I whisper. "You're the kid from the bar. You were with Charlie."

"Yeah." Is all he says. The response is weird. It's not smug or malicious like so many other's. But it's not uncertain either, like some of the younger one's. It's... kind of... remorseful...

"Who are you?" I whisper.

"Militia." He says slowly, showing me his brand.

"I know that." I reply, moving away from him.

"I can't let you do that." He shakes his head. "Sorry." I turn to run, remembering with a sick feeling that my sword is back at camp. I'm jerked back by my arm and then I'm facing the kid. He gives me a truly apologetic look and then handcuffs me. "I'm sorry." I glare at him as we start walking.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm... following orders." He says, with some distaste.

"Do you know _why_ Monroe wants me?" I ask, my voice going up just slightly in pitch.

"Truthfully?" He asks, his voice behind me. "No. The general theory is that you can get the lights back on. But don't think anyone can do that." He pauses.

"Why am I talking about this?" He wonders aloud.

"Because you're not like the rest of the militia." I stop, turning to face him,

"You're different. How old are you?"

"Twenty one." He says, his brows furrowing.

"Out of training at eighteen?" He nods. "So three years. Yep, I was still there. Do you know who I am?"

"You're Lindsay Matheson." He answers, looking at me like I'm crazy.

"But do you know who I _was_?" I elaborate. "That I used to live in Philly?" He shakes his head slowly.

"I know nothing about your past. Just that you're Miles' sister." He cocks his head ever so slightly. "What happened? Why did you leave Philly?"

_ There's a soft knock at the door. I look up from the bed, wiping tears off my cheeks. _

_ "What do you want?" I call out._

_ "Can I come in?" The familiar voice asks. _

_ "Yeah." I groan. Bass opens the door. "Didn't know you were here." _

_ "Miles called to see if I wanted to go to the park." He shrugs. "Wanna come?"_

_ "No thank you." I shake my head. _

_ "You've been crying." He points out._

_ "No I haven't!" I argue, sniffing. _

_ "Yeah, you have." _

_ "Stop bugging me!" I yell. "Just go to the park with Miles!"_

_ "Why are you sad?" He asks, moving closer. _

_ "None of your business, Sebastian!" I snap. _

_ "I just want to help." He says quietly. I sigh. Bass __**always**__ wants to help. _

_ "Mark Shepard didn't like the Valentine I made him." I sniff. "It took me two hours. He was the only person I actually wanted to give one to in my class and he just said thanks and tossed it in box!" He ate the candy though. The little chocolate bar I had taped to it. _

_ Bass just stares at me. I know what he's thinking. He's thinking, 'g irls' and wants to roll his steel blue eyes. But he doesn't. He just stares. Then he says, quietly,_

_ "Please come to the park with us." He tilts his head to the side. I scoff and stand._

_ "Fine!" I snap, and walk towards the door. "Why do you care anyway." He smiles shyly and kisses my cheek. _

_"Because no one as awesome as you should be alone on Valentine's Day." _


	16. We're Not in Kansas Anymore

**Author's Note: Ok! Plague Dogs Part 2... and again. I own nothing, except Lindsay. Writing from the show belongs to the creators... of the show. K? K. Alright. Good. And listen, I know that last chapter was less than good. And I'm sorry. But I think this one is a lot better! So here you go.**

* * *

The soldier stares at me. I can't really look at him. He still wants to know why I left Philly.

"Can you just... just drop it?" I plead.

"I want to know." He insists. "Why'd you leave? Who were you?"

"If it was something really bad..." I start. "Would you let me go?"

"I've got orders." He repeats. I scoff.

"Orders from who? General Monroe?" I say his name with mock awe. "Let me tell you something, kid, Monroe is not someone you want to follow."

"How do you know?"

"Look, soldier, I lived in Philly, ok?" I turn around, so I'm not facing him. "And my brother left. I left too. That is _all_ you need to know."

"Alright. Ok." He agrees. "Start walking." I do, glancing back at him.

"So who are you?" I ask him.

"I'm a lieutenant of the Monroe Militia."

"Ooh, that was so well rehearsed!" I sneer. "Do another one! Quick, tell me what the Chicago Act says?" He starts to answer, but I cut him off. "I know what it is." I smirk. I wrote it. It's pretty much the only thing that stops Bass from killing every single person who doesn't pay their taxes. Of course, I didn't mean for him to send them all to work camps instead, but...

"You don't seem very upset that I caught you." He notes.

"You're an observer." I reflect. "And no, I'm not. Upset, I mean. Because I'm going to get away."

"No offense, but I've watched you." He gives the slightest smile. "I'm better than you are."

"Ok, kiddo, keep telling yourself that." I chuckle. I turn away from him and keep walking.

I can't help but think about Miles. Has he left yet? He probably doesn't even know I'm im trouble. And Charlie... poor Charlie. She's probably freaking out. What if she thinks I abandoned her too? I stop walking and make a quick decision.

"What is it?" The lieutenant asks.

"I thought..." I pause. "I thought I heard screaming." I finish off the lie.

"It's probably your imagination." He answers. "Come on." I stand my ground. "Please don't make me pull you." He says sincerely. I ignore him and he grabs my arm. The grip is loose, gentle, and he's now in front of me. Reluctantly, I start moving again. I let us get a few more feet before I swing into action. I pull my right foot back, and kick out his left one. He falls, his hand slipping from my arm. He does manage to pull me down by my ankle. As he pushes himself closer to me, however, I pull out his sword and slice his leg. He shouts in pain and I scramble up, holding his sword to his throat.

"Uncuff me." I demand.

"I can't!" He says. I press the blade against his smooth skin.

"You _can't_?" I repeat skeptically.

"No, I don't have the key." He coughs. "My CO does. He was sure that I'd be too vulnerable to mind games and I'd end up letting you go." I swear loudly and move away.

"I should kill you." I snarl. "But I'm not going to."

"Why not?"

"I'm not a murderer." I shrug. "And because you'll have to leave anyway."

"And why's that?" He asks, tying cloth around his wound.

"Miles is leaving us." I answer, and turn to leave, his sword swinging from my hip.

_My head snaps up as Bass bursts into his room, shutting and locking the door behind him. I glare at him, but he doesn't even notice me. He sheds his jacket and shirt, revealing a bleeding wound right above his shoulder blade. An extremely ugly wound. _

_"Oh my God!" I exclaim. "What happened?" He swivels around, clearly shocked to see me there. _

_ "Lindsay!" He furrows his brows. "Why are you here?" I look at him with a confused face. _

_"You tied me to a chair and then left." I gesture with my head to my bound hands. _

_ "Oh, right." He rummages through his closet. "Yeah, I was called away. And then I had to go fight."_

_ "That was two days ago." I remark. _

_ "And no one untied you?" He asks in disbelief. "Gave you food or water?"_

_ "No." _

_ "Oh my God. I'm sorry. I really am." _

_ "You should be." I comment, glaring again. But as my eyes rest on his wound, I take in the gravity of the sitauation. His breath is shaky, his voice faint, he's paling. The wound is worse than I thought. He tries to pour alcohol on it and cries out. "What are you doing? Where's your doctor?" _

_ "He's dead." He replies through gritted teeth. _

_ "Untie me." I demand. He does so. Wow, he really is sorry. "Now turn around." He gives me a crazy look but obeys. I wet a cloth with alcohol and press it to the wound. He hisses, but I ignore it, picking up the already threaded needle. As I pierce the skin, he yelps and throws me off him. "Damn it, Bass, I'm just trying to help!" I shout. _

_ "Why do you even want to help?" He shouts back as I resume stitching him. "After everything I've done to you..."_

_ "I don't know." I admit. "Maybe I don't want to see you die." But I should. I should want to kill him myself. He says nothing as I tie the knot. I feel his eyes on me as I go to his closet and pull out a button up shirt. I carefully put it on him and start buttoning it. _

_ "You do still love me, don't you?" He whispers, his breath touching my slightly trembling fingers. _

_ "I don't want to." I reply, wishing I would shut up. "But... I don't... I don't think feelings that strong just go away."_

_ "I could never stop loving you." He whispers. I shake my head. _

_ "How can you do this to me if you love me, Bass?" _

_ "Because..." He fumbles for words. "I can't run this country by myself. I need Miles."_

_ "You think he'll come back if you __**ask**__?" I whisper. _

_ "I have to try." He tilts my chin up, softly though, and presses his lips to mine. I start to pull away, fight like always. "No, Linds. I love you." I let him hold me just inches away, and I study his face. Full of actual remorse, and sincerity. His eyes steadily look down into mine. And I think about us. How we used to be. I miss it so much. Could we have that again? Would he still want Miles to come back so badly if I helped him again? Could I forget all he's done and let us be us again? Maybe it could start here. _

_ "I love you too, Bass." I stand on my toes and return his kiss._

I run into the clearing. It's cleared out, no sign that life was ever here. Except for my sword, propped against a large rock. They left? I guess Charlie did think I abandoned her. Well, no matter what she thinks, I've got to go find her. I grab the sword and start tracking.

From what I know about her, Charlie's a pretty good hunter. So she'll know her way around the woods pretty well. Unlike me. Before the Republic happened, I really just followed Miles and Bass. I know next to nothing about hunting. But I do manage to follow the sounds of shouting. I run in the general direction and see Charlie, Aaron, and Miles run into a diner. Miles? Did he not leave? I move as fast as personally possible and speed right past Miles into the restaurant.

"Lindsay!" He shouts. "What the hell?"

"Where's Maggie?" Charlie shouts.

"She was right behind me," Nora pants back. We hear a cry and look back to see Maggie being held by some guy. The dogs' owner, presumably. He stabs her in the leg, and Miles comes to her rescue. He helps her back in and sits her down.

"You're here." She says faintly to me. I nod.

"Maggie, what happened?" Charlie asks. I turn to Miles.

"What happened?" I ask him. "Why aren't you gone yet?"

"Wasn't the right time," He says shortly. "What happened to you?"

"I got caught." I admit. "By that teenager from the bar."

"That one?" He nods behind me. I snap my head around to see the Lieutenant sitting there, chained to a pole.

"You caught him?" Miles nods. "Know who he is yet?"

"No." He grabs his sword. "Keep those doors locked. Come on, Nora. Linds, keep an eye on him." He nods to the soldier.

"You're going out there?" Aaron asks incredulously. "They're right outside."

"We'll get up on the roof. Hopscotch a few buildings over." He sighs. "Put some distance between us."

"To do what?"

"I'm gonna find this whack job." He raises his sword. "And he's gonna call off his mutts. Believe me."

"How can we help?" Charlie asks immediately.

"Leave." Maggie speaks up weakly. "You know you have to leave right?"

"Maggie. No way." Aaron says firmly.

"Danny is twenty four hours from here." She insists. "You're wasting time." Charlie and Maggie argue for a bit and I turn to the soldier behind me. He doesn't notice me, though. He's watching Charlie intensely. I'm about to say something to him when Maggie moans in pain.

"Listen, the tourniquet isn't good enough." She feels her leg, wincing. "I'm losing too much blood."

"Wait, what are you saying?" Aaron asks eyes wide behind his thick glasses.

"You need to stitch up the artery." She breathes.

"You're talking about us doing surgery." He exclaims. I put down my stuff.

"I can help." I nod to Maggie. "I've done my fair share of stitches in... where I was." She nods, almost knowingly, I think.

"Thank you."

"Ok," Charlie breathes. "What's first?"

"You need to sterilize everything." She replies. "I think... Miles has some whiskey."

"He does." I confirm. "In his pack." Charlie nods and runs over to his bag. Before she can locate the alcohol, however, a pair of arms reach out from the kitchen window and pull her away.

"No!" I shout. All of us had screamed something. Even Nate... which is what they thought the soldier's name was.

Miles and Nora burst back in, and state the obvious. They couldn't find the man.

"Miles, he took her." Aaron tells him.

"He what?" Miles asks.

"Which door did he come in?" Nora looks around.

"Miles!" Nate/ soldier kid shouts. "heavily armed, multiple knives. Hauled her through the kitchen. Last look, she was still alive." I hate to admit, even in my head but that's pretty impressive. That he noticed all that in those few milliseconds. With a glance at me, Miles cuts him loose.

"You're coming with me." He says firmly.

"Uh... I need to... operate." Aaron interjects, uncertainly. "Lindsay and I need help."

"I'll stay." Nora volunteers. Maggie thanks her with a nod.

"I'll bring her back, Maggie." Miles swallows. My eyes land on Nate and I glance, ever so slightly, to the door. _Shouldn't you be running away?_ is what I say shakes his head firmly and then leaves with Miles.

"Ok," I say, turning to Aaron. "Sterilization."

"Done." Nora calls, rushing to give Aaron the needle.

"Ok, Aaron," He looks frantic, but I make him focus. "_Listen_. Nora is going to hold back the skin." He gives me a horrific face. "I know. But listen to me, Pittman, you can do this." He nods.

"What are you going to do?" He asks.

"I'm going to hold the mirror." I reply, positioning it. "And I'm going to walk you through this. Ok? _Alright_. Let's go." I nod to Nora, who holds back the excess skin. Aaron locates the artery and begins stitching. I fe ell someone grab my free hand and look over to Maggie's paled face.

"Just... go, Lindsay." She says in a weak voice.

"No." I reply firmly, as she squeezes my hand in pain.

"I know Charlie won't let you..." She groans. "But I need you to go while she's not here. I don't-"

"Aaron!" I shout."

"What?" He gasps. "What did I do?"

"You've moved too far up." Nora answers for me, pointing at the mirror. "Look at the reflection, not the real thing."

"How do you know how to do this?" He asks.

"I'm a rebel." She admits. "This was in my training." He nods, and looks towards me, asking the same question. I think of the many times I stiched up Miles or Bass after a battle.

"Just focus on the mirror, Aaron." I reply.

"Lindsay." Maggie's voice calls to me again. "Charlie told me... who... who you were. I don't want you to get caught again." I glance at Nora, and find her quickly averting her eyes.

"Yeah, Maggie, you're right." I agree. "That's who I was. And I'm _terrified_ of General Monroe. You can't even begin to imagine how scared of him I am. But I'm not going to save myself by leaving you to die. So save your breath, drink this water, and stop trying to get me to abandon you." She smiles weakly.

"Do you like the Wizard of Oz?" She asks randomly.

"Yeah," I nod. "Yeah, it was my favourite movie as a kid."

"I used to read it... with my kids." She says, her eyes aglow. "Their favourite was the Tin Man. I don't know why."

"Maggie, maybe you should just-"

"Stories... help ignore the pain." She breaths. "It always worked with my patients." I sigh.

"Ok," I start. "When I was ten, I was in the play of the Wizard of Oz. Yeah, I played a ton of parts. A munchkin, a citizen of Oz, a poppy, even a jitterbug. And some others. But a few years later, in high school, I actually went back and played Dorothy."

"You acted?" She asks, seeminlgy interested.

"Yeah, I minored in drama, in college." I nod. "Then the lights went out. I never really got to again. Bass took me to some plays but..."

"Bass?" She questions. "That'd be General Monroe? Before he went crazy?" I nod.

"Yes. His name is Seb-" The ever constant barking just stops and almost immediately afterward, Miles, Nate, and Charlie jog back in.

"What happened to the dogs?" Nora asks instantly.

"Gave them a time out." Miles replies, holding up a silver dog whistle.

"Charlie?" Aarom asks, worriedly.

"I'm fine." She answers, looking at Maggie. "How is she?"

"I, uh, I'm almost done." He answers. I lean over her to inspect the wound. It doesn't look good but he's done all he could do.

"You saved me, Charlie." Maggie says, looking up at her.

"That's right." Charlie smiles, her voice breaking, and her eyes watering. "We're gonna save you, ok?"

"No. You saved me." She exhales. "Thank you."

"No, no, don't talk like that." Charlie grabs the older woman's hand. "Hey, you're gonna be okay."

"I've lost too much blood." She whispers.

"No I did just what you said!" Aaron says, eyes wide. "Lindsay..." I shake my head.

"It's too late." I whisper.

"I'd like my phone." Maggie says quietly.

"Maggie, please." Charlie begs, crying. Aarom hands her the pink iPhone and she looks it over. Her face lights up with a smile of pure happiness and relief. K vaguely wonder what she's seeing. But I know one thing: she's ready to leave. She looks into something only she can see. Her light at the end of the tunnel. She murmurs something that sounds like, "_bye, bye Dorothy._" And her eyes close. She's dead. Charlie, beside me, cries.

"Everyone leaves me." She sobs. "Please don't leave me, Maggie." Miles pulls her up, hugging her tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere, ok?" He murmurs. "I'm not gonna leave." I stand and go to a storage room, letting out a tear. Then another, and another, until my whole face is soajed and my eyes sore. I sink down, hugging my legs, not caring that things are raining down on me from the shelves above. I barely knew Maggie. I knew _nothing_ about her. Yet, here I am. But it's _my_ fault. _I_ could have stitched her. Maybe_ I_ could have done a better job than Aaron. _Maybe I could have saved her. _

_This was a mistake. I've thought it a million times since I woke up this morning. Why did I let this happen? Of course, it would've happened anyway, I'm sure. But I didn't fight. I didn't want to fight. I wanted Bass. And I do wish things could be the way they were before Miles left. Or before they started this damn Republic! But it can never be that way again. Not after what he's done to me. I can't just forget it. I feel him stir next to me. He smiles as he sees me there._

_ "Hey."_

_ "Hey." I reply, civilly._

_ "You're not mad are you?"_

_ "Why would I be?" I ask. "I let it happen."_

_ "I know." He answers. "I just thought..."_

_ "I shouldn't have." I continue. "This was a mistake."_

_ "Linds." He sighs. "I hate torturing you. You know that? If you'd help me... we could be happy again."_

_ "This changes nothing, Bass." I shake my head. "I still don't know what you want me to." I stand up and pull my clothes on. I go to leave. For a second, I'm worried he'll try to stop me. But as I glance at him, he just watches me. "I'm sorry." I whisper. I leave, wiping tears off my cheeks. Partly because I am sorry. Sorry that we can't have what we used to. Partly because I know his pacified silence won't last forever._

**Author's Note: Ok, so better? I hope so. Also, do you guys prefer seeing bad Bass/Linds or sweet Bass/Linds? Just wondering!**


	17. Heading Back Into Hell

**Author's Note: New Chapter. This one is Soul Train and its actually in one part. Yeah, it's kinda long. It's like 5,000 words. But I was thinking, you know, chapters in actual books are a LOT longer than 5,000 words. So... hope you don't mind! Here it is!**

Miles opens the storage room door for only the second time since yesterday.

"Linds..." He says, tentatively. I hear his voice, but it's muted. It sounds like mom and dad's did when we were on a long road trip and I had just woken up in the back seat. "Lindsay." I still don't answer. I don't move. "We buried her, Linds."

"I know." I say, barely audible. "You told me last night you were going to."

"If you want to come out," He clears his throat."Charlie and Aaron... are going to say a few words."

"I shouldn't go." I reply, squeezing my legs tighter.

"Lindsay, this isn't your fault." He sighs, crouching down in front of me. "You know that right?" I shake my head, at a loss for an audible reply. "When will you come out then?" I shrug. "Lindsay, talk to me."

"I have nothing to say." I respond, quietly.

"Don't do this." He begs.

"Don't do _what_?" I ask irritably, knowing fully well what he means.

"Don't get all quiet like this." He whispers. "I've seen you do this before. Don't do it again. Please don't."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I insist, playing with my necklace. He sighs.

"Fine." He frowns. "I'll come and get you when we're ready to go." I nod. I look up and our eyes lock. His are incredibly concerned. Mine are just a surface of calm. But under that surface is an unthinkable amount of emotion. Miles, being Miles, sees it. He lets his hand slip off the doorknob and approaches me.

"Miles, don't." I whisper. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." He argues. He glances over my face. "You're not fine."

"As fine as I ever am." I insist.

"You know, we never talked about it." He adds quietly.

"About what?" I glance down at the floor, then the wall. Anyhwere but his eyes.

"About what Bass... what he did to you." I scoff in disbelief. He _made_ me tell him about the rape and the torture! "I mean, I know you've said what he did... but you've never said how it made you _feel_."

"What the _hell_ are you talking about Miles?"

"I mean..." He sighs. "You're so hard to read, Linds. I know you deal with it remarkably well, but I need to know you're ok on the inside." I stand.

"I am not talking about this anymore." I say forcibly. "In the past week, three plus people have found out what happened to me. Ok? More than three people look at me differently, think about me differently, because of what Bass did to me! They know how disgusting I am! And one of them is dead!" I try to move past him out the door, but he stops me.

"Lindsay, you're not disgusting." He groans. "How could you even-"

"Stop, Miles." I command. He lets go of my arm and I walk out. "_Lindsay_!"

I ignore my brother calling after me. I don't know when he went to the... funeral. Or if he did at all. Honestly, I don't know when he stopped calling after me. I wander through the diner, remembering the diner I used to hang out at with Miles and Bass. I loved it there. Miles got us kicked out sometimes, but the owner loved us. Mainly because the owner's wife was my mother's roommate in college.

All diners look the same. Bar in the front, booths in the back. Bigger booths and party tables, if they're there at all, are in a secluded area beside the bar. Kitchen unseen to it all. The faded reds of the classic 50s style blend in with the dirty walls that used to be white. But no one took care of them, let them die, and now they're ugly and filthy.

"Hey." I look down, in the direction of the voice. It's the soldier kid... Nate. I've nearly run into him. I back up just a step.

"Sorry." I mumble and turn to walk away.

"Hey," He repeats. "I saw you try to save her, there towards the end. You couldn't have helped. By the time she got in here, she was already gone." I stare at him blankly. "It's not your fault. And I know Miles just told you that, but..."

"How do you know that?" I ask him, backing up a step.

"It's a diner, not a fortress." He replies. "The doors aren't that thick."

"How much did you hear?" I continue.

"All of it." He looks away from me.

"You... you know..."

"Know what General Monroe did to you?" He finishes. "I've figured it out, I think, yeah." I hold my breath for a few seconds then let it out shakily. "I don't want to be right." He adds quietly. I'm sure he's thinking the worst. And in this case, the worst _is_ the truth. I back away from him more. I don't want to confirm or deny his suspicions. I start to walk quickly outside, but run into Nora.

"Hey." She says in surprise.

"Hi."

"Miles is looking for you." She says quietly.

"I know." I say, with an exasperated sigh.

"Listen, Linds," She says, moving closer to me and quieting her voice. "We haven't really had a chance to talk about what happened in Philly. But I want you to know-"

"Excuse me, Nora." I cut her off cruelly. "But this is _not_ something I want to talk about. So just leave me the hell alone." I push past her and go outside, only to find myself facing a freshly dug and packed over grave, Charlie and Aaron standing over it, tears in both their eyes. Miles stands near them. He gestures for me to come over to him.

"Hey." He says quietly, once I reach him.

"What'd you want?" I ask.

"We're leaving." He answers. He tells Charlie and Aaron the same. Charlie protests.

"Miles, please, we just buried Maggie." She says, her voice stronger than I would've thought. "Let us say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" He repeats. "To who? It's just a body in the ground."

"_Miles_!" I gasp. I pull on his arm, making him look at me. "Don't do that. I know you didn't know her, but they did. Ok? You have to understand-"

"Danny is alive." He cuts me off, moving me so I'm next to Charlie and he can speak to both of us. "And he's close. And if you want him back, you can't do this; you don't have that luxury. But..." he looks at me. "Hanging around here, crying. It's not gonna help." Charlie drops her gaze, knowing he's right, but not happy about it. "Let's move!" He calls out.

I reach down to grab my stuff and I see Charlie give Maggie's grave one last glance before moving on. I pick up my speed to walk next to my brother.

"I know. You're pissed at me." He sighs.

"Just a little." I reply, with no emotion.

"At least you're out of your... trance, _thing_." He says, glancing down at me.

"Yeah." I agree, for the sake of argument. "Miles, everything you said... about Danny and Maggie, that's true, logically. But you have to think about how they feel right now-"

"I can't do that!" He argues. "Not anymore! Linds, we can't think with our emotions, ok? We_ have_ to think logically! Otherwise, we're dead."

"Miles!" I insist. "You don't-"

"Did you think logically?" He asks. "When I left? I asked you to come and you didn't think about it. You just said no. Why? Because you love Bass and he loves you. Because of emotion. If you thought about it, you would have remembered that you know Bass was a little crazy. You would've _known_ he hurt Rachel, so why wouldn't he hurt you? But you didn't, did you? You didn't think?"

"No." I whisper.

"But don't you wish you would have?" He continues. "Look where emotion got you." I nod. He's right. If I would have just thought for a _second_... maybe I could have avoided all that pain. "So, I'm sorry. And Charlie hates me for it right now. Because she doesn't understand, like you do."

"I pray to God she never will." I add quietly.

We walk in silence after that, passing the same sights we've seen for weeks. Thick trees, sunlight streaming in through the canopy. I glance at Charlie and Aaron a few times, just to make sure they haven't lapsed into a fit of sobs. Aaron seems distressed, but kind of shocked,still. Charlie just seems empty._ I know that feel._ Nate's eyes are on her too, worried.

I nearly jump out of my skin as a sound I haven't hear in more than fifteen years breaks the silence. A train whistle.

"What was that?" Charlie asks, a little worried. She's probably never seen or heard a functioning train.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Miles exclaims. We run to the edge of the woods. Before us is a small, but busy, town. And only a hundred feet in front of us, a train. Plastered with the name "_Militia 1_". Charlie looks at Miles, unsure of what this means. "If Monroe's got a train, it's bad, Charlie." He looks back toward the locomotive. "Could be real bad." He nudges my arm. "What do you say, Linds, what do we do?"

"You're asking_ me_?" I ask in surprise. Miles usually calls the shots. I'm _content_ with Miles calling the shots.

"Yeah," He shrugs. "I'm at a loss."

"Ok," I struggle for words. "Um, I think... I think we should find a safeplace, a warehouse maybe, and scout it out. Try to find Danny." He nods.

"Alright." He motions to the group. "Let's go." We quickly walk into the town, trying for incospicuousness, but still sticking to the back of buildings. We find one building, at the edge of the forest on the other side of town and I nod.

"This one." They all agree and we head inside. It appears to be an old garage. Miles locates a small office type place, screened off by some wire. He puts Nate behind it, hands still bound.

"I'm gonna go out." Charlie says quietly. "Take a look around town."

"No." Miles refuses her. "You're stay-

"Miles," I cut him off quietly. "Let her. She probably needs some time to herself."

"Fine." He sighs, and turns back to her. "Go ahead. But if you see any trouble, you get your ass back here. Got it?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Miles." She says, dryly. Aaron sits down, while Nora begins checking our limited weaponry. After a moment, Miles looks away from the direction Charlie left in. But Nate doesn't, he keeps gazing after her. Yeah, he's been looking at her a lot lately. I walk over to him, crouching down. He pulls his gaze away to look at me.

"Hi." He says, in surprise.

"I know you're supposed to bringing us in." I tell him. "But the truth is, we've had you captive for days now. So do you honestly think you're going to succeed?"

"I'm optimistic." He shrugs, flashing a smile.

"Well, so am I." I smile back, mockingly. "But listen, if you hurt my niece, I will _murder_ you. I will carve out your_ heart_ and ship it back home to your _parents_."

"You don't know who my parents are." He replies, unphased by my graphic depiction of his death.

"Cute." I smirk. "But seriously, don't hurt Charlie."

"I don't want to hurt Charlie." He says, his voice becoming a little bit softer. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Funny thing to say for a miltia man." I glare at him.

"We're not all General Monroe." He disagrees.

"No, of course not." I stand up. "You just follow his every word."

"You don't _know_ me." He calls after me. Not having an answer to that, I walk away. I really don't know him. But, being militia, how can he be any different than my own assumptions? Maybe he's a conscript. Maybe he wasn't always this way. But all the good in him was forced out on one of those damn ships Bass set up. If he really is a conscript, it's too late for him.

I turn back to Miles and Nora. She's looks at him with concentration while he drinks from his flask.

"Will you stop drinking and think for a second?" She demands.

"Think about what, Nora?" He replies, not putting down his drink. "How bad this is? I_ know_ how bad this is!"

"Miles, bad doesn't begin to cover it!" I interject, taking the flask out of his hand. He stands.

"Linds, what the hell?" He reaches for the flask. I pour it on the floor.

"Uh-uh. You're cut off." I reply, tossing the metal to the ground. "Drinking won't help us save Danny."

"And Monroe with a working train," Nora adds. "Makes him dangerous, Miles. Even more so than usual."

"I know." He agrees. "But we got other problems right now."

"Like drinking?" I ask skeptically.

"I meant Danny!" He defends himself. _Oh_. Charlie walks back in. "So?"

"Train leaves first thing tomorrow." She replies, giving Miles and me a '_what do we do?_' look.

"Let me guess, going to Philly, right?" He questions. She nods. "They're putting Danny on that train, I guarantee it."

"We have to find him." I add. "Like, _now_."

"How about you, militia boy?" He asks Nate. "You know about any of this?" Nate says nothing, just looks on indifferently. "Yeah." Miles sighs, because silence was what he expected. "Danny's here, somewhere. If we don't find him before tomorrow... he's gone."

"Where do we look?" I ask.

"We should check to see if they're keeping him on the train." He replies. "Outside that, they're probably holding him in a cell somehwere." He looks at Nate, in his own cell. "That's what I'd do. So we check the old station house. Could be a walk-in freezer, meat locker, I don't know. Anything secure." He takes off his sword and puts it on a table. Charlie reaches for her weapon. "No. No crossbows. No swords." He holds his hand out for mine. I look at him incredulously.

"You want me to go out in a town _full_ of _Militia_ without a _weapon_?" I ask, skeptically.

"Gotta keep a low profile." He insists. I mutter under my breath, but hand it over. Miles picks up Charlie's crossbow and hands it to Aaron. "You. Guard Nipples. If he tries to move, go ahead, shoot him." He glances over at Nate, whose guard is back up, emotionless again. "We split up, we canvass the town. You even get a scent of Danny, walk away. Come find me. We only get one shot at this." I nod, but sigh. I get to walk around, unarmed and alone, in a town full of militia men. No doubt there's a few who know me personally. _Fantastic_.

We walk out into the bright sunlight. Miles goes right, Charlie goes left, and Nora just walks straight. The only thing behind us is the woods, so I folloe Nora.

"Nora, wait!" I call. "I'm sorry. About... about earlier."

"No, it's fine." She waves it off. "You don't want to talk about. I understand. It's a touchy subject."

"Good." I smile. "So, which way-"

"Linds, I hate to leave you on your own." She says, "But Miles said to split up and honestly, that's the best course of action right now."

"Oh. Ok." I nod. "Yeah, ok. I'll see you soon then." She nods and turns away. That was odd. But she was right. So I go in the opposite direction and walk out into town. The train is ready to go, it looks like. It's long, shiny, and black. Soldiers are filling one of the cars with chopped wood. I walk closer to it, trying to look like just an interested tourist, but also glancing in the windows. There's a couple of soldiers in a few, but no teenage boys. I sigh. This just got a little harder. Ok, what did Miles say? Old station house. Alright. That shouldn't be too far. I walk back the other way. As I walk, I can feel someone behind me. I keep my eyes forward, but my heart is beating erratically. I turn a corner and hear familiar voices. I walk in that direction until the voices become coherent.

"... spread my legs, and show you everything." What? Who the hell is that? And _what_ am I walking into? "How's Lindsay?"

"She's dead." Ok, that's Miles. I know that's Miles. "She died before she could find me."

"Really?" The other voice asks. "Because Jeremy Baker reported back that you were both alive." There's a silence. Miles is out of quips. "So where is your lovely sister?" I walk out..._ oh_. Tom Neville. I should've recognized the voice.

"I'm here, Tom." I call. He looks over in surprise. His knife is poised at Miles' throat, Miles' knife at his. I walk closer to them and Miles throws me a second knife. I roll my eyes, but unsheath it.

"Ok." Neville nods, catching up with the situation. "So, you escaped. Found Miles, and now you're both looking for Danny. Am I right?"

"Pretty much." I shrug.

"So how about a trade?" Miles asks. "Danny for one of your guys?"

"You got one of my guys?" Neville asks doubtfully.

"Yeah," He replies, "One that's been tailing us. The, uh, short hair, shirt too tight." Something flashes in Neville's eyes, but I can't tell what it is.

"You can keep him." He says, with indifference. I glare at him. I don't get how you can just leave one of your men like that.

"Oh, I'll kill him, Tom. You know I will."

"You do what you gotta do." Neville replies. "I got new orders. I need Danny. Hell, maybe even more than I need you." Bass wants a seventeen year old kid more than he wants _Miles_? What the hell does he have planned in that screwed up brain of his? "Listen, while we're talking... Why'd you leave?"

"You wouldn't understand." He glances away. Neville chuckles softly, and he's about to say more, when we're spotted by some soldiers. "I gotta go, Tom."

"Oh, but you just got here." He smiles. He makes a move to attack Miles, but grabs me instead, his arm around my neck.

"No!" I shout in surprise, as he tries to get my knife off of me. I cut his wrist and Miles grabs it, flipping him over. I run like hell, only a step behind Miles.

"You ok?" He calls behind him. I nod.

"Yeah," I pant. "I'm fine. He didn't hurt me." We run forward, trying to catch up with Charlie. After less than five minutes, we find her.

"Hey!" Miles calls. "What did I tell you? What did I say? Did I sa- Did I _say_ not get close?" He demands, tripping over his words in anger and frustration.

"He bumped _into me!_" She shouts.

"And you followed him?" He asks. "You were in over your head! You have no idea how dangerous he is!"

"Charlie, he's right." I add, looking back towards where we left Neville. "The things he is capable of-"

"I get it!" She cuts me off. "I screwed up! But it's _Neville_! He has Danny! I just thought-"

"You got emotional!" He persists. "You panicked and you blew it!" He sighs, as she looks away guiltily. "Surprise was the only thing we had going, and you pissed it away. This was already hard. You just made it impossible. So, if we don't get Danny back, you got nobody to blame but yourself."

"Why are you so..." She hesitates, her guard lowering just a bit. "You never used to _be_ like this!"

"How do you know?" He asks doubtfully. I look at her, my brows lowering in confusion. Miles walks away.

"Because I _remember_ you!" She calls. He turns, surprised. "It hit me the other day." She walks over to him. I follow her. "I was about four. And you, and Lindsay came for a visit. And you took me for a ride in your car. You had one of those... one of those tape decks." I smile. Miles never bothered to update his technology. Bass once described his phone as a '_big, Casio 80s, brick phone_'. Of course, now those tape decks would be like a super computer if one of them would work. "You were singing at the top of your lungs, and I remember laughing." She says, with a laugh. I give a small chuckle, remembering. I look up at Miles. No laughing. Not even a smile. He looks like he always does, frustrated and pissed off at the world. Charlie's next words are whispers. "What happened to that guy?" Miles barely looks at either of us.

"He's dead." He replies, and moves away. Charlie follows after a second of hesitation, tears in her blue eyes. I sigh and go after my niece and my brother.

They run back to the garage and I'm just a few steps behind them. As soon as we come in, Aaron stands.

"Uh, guys, there's something..." He looks over at me, as I come in and go to stand by Charlie. "There's something you should know."

"What's going on, Aaron?" Charlie asks, cautiously.

"Nora came in here with a resistance guy," He starts. "She got dressed in a soldier's uniform. She said she's... she's uh, she's gonna blow up the train. Or try, at least." Miles sits down on a box.

"Damn it." He breathes.

"What do you mean she's going to blow up the train?" Charlie shouts in disbelief. I move closer to Aaron.

"Wait, like _now_?" I ask. "Or_ after_ we get Danny off. Because I'm all for that." But, by Aaron's look, I can tell it's the former. "What the hell is she _thinking_?!" I ask Miles.

"She said she didn't have a choice." Aaron answers.

"Miles, we have to stop her!" Charlie turns rapidly to face her uncle. He looks up.

"Won't be able to find her." He answers, hopelessly. She turns to me, pleading with her eyes for me to have some sort of miracle solution. "What we need to do is find Danny, if we can." He adds, quickly. I run a hand through my hair, turning around in a full circle in frustration. I catch Nate's eye. But it's not on me, it's on Miles. Miles locks eyes with him and stands. He grabs him by the shirt and throws him on the floor, at Charlie's feet. She kneels down to his level.

"If you know _anything_ about where they're keeping my brother," She pleads. You _have_ to tell me. This is my _family_." She looks him straight in the eye. "I'm asking you, I'm _begging_ you. Please tell me."

"I'm sorry." He says, sounding sincere. "I can't help you."

"Can't or _won't_?" I demand, breathing out of my nose angrily.

"_Can't_." He stresses the word. "I _can't_ help you."

"Well, then I can't help you either." Charlie replies, and stands up, backing away. Miles pulls out his sword intimidatingly, and advances toward the soldier. Nate rolls backwards, onto his feet and knocks over a ladder, nearly tripping Miles. He climbs on a toolbox, using it as a stepladder to a car. Once on the faded vehicle, he pulls himself up to the rafters and climbs onto the roof, hands still bound.

"Damn it." Miles grunts again. He runs outside and Charlie and I follow, Aaron on our tails. I look every which way, but the militia kid is nowhere to be found. He's gone. And now, he's probably closer to finding Danny than we are.

With no time to come up with anything better, Miles suggests we check the Noblesville bank. We run into town. The bank is at the front, near the train.

"I can't believe I didn't think of this before." Miles says, as we rush down the sunlit hallway to the vaults. We make it to a small room, a little office, but mostly a barred off vault. "A bank vault, the perfect place to keep Danny." I peer inside. It contains very little. A chair, a table with a still lit lantern. Also on the table, is a small cup and a cloth with blood on it. _He's coughing blood_? And he hasn't even made it to Philly yet. Well, that sounds like Neville. Beating up a seventeen year old kid just because he's there. Pity the child of that bastard, if there is one.

The train whsitle blows for the third time that day. But something tells me this isn't just a test run.

"When'd you say the train was leaving?" Miles asks Charlie, having the same notion.

"First thing tomorrow." She replies, eyes wide. The last part of her answer is cut off by another blow of the whistle. We immediately run back into the town, to find the train puffing smoke, ready to go. It blows again, then again._ Oh my God, stop!_ Not only is my nephew's life at risk, but Bass' train is giving me a damn headache! We come around the corner of yet another building to see the train quickly moving away.

"I tried to stop it," A weak voice calls behind us. We look down to see Nora, struggling for breath, her abdomen bleeding.

"Nora?" Charlie asks, not believing her eyes. We kneel down in front of her.

"Who did this to you?" Miles asks, also im shock.

"Listen..." She manages to get out. "The bomb's on the train." She looks up at Charlie. "And so is your brother." Charlie straigthens up and looks after the train in complete panic. "The bomb is in a hollowed out log. It's in the front of the tender car, Miles... I'm sorry." He stands and joins Charlie in looking after the train, while Aaron and I press a cloth to the wound in Nora's side. I look up for a second. It's hopeless now. The train blows up, that's it. Dozens of soldiers are dead. Along with my nephew. I squeeze ny eyes shut to stop the hot tears from spilling out. And when I open them, I notice something.

"Miles!" I whisper. He looks back and down at me and I point out the horses. Just standing there, asking to be taken. His eyes light up and he points them out to Charlie. She gasps and they nod. "_Go_!" I command. "We'll take care of Nora." Miles nods again and they run off. I sling Nora's arm over my shoulder and Aaron does the same. We half carry her back to the garage and Aaron grabs the medical stuff out of his pack. I lay her down and take a needle from Aaron. She winces and cries out soflty as it pierces her skin.

"Nora." I call her. She looks at me. "Nora, you listen to me, ok? You're going to be fine, ok? Just fine." I finish the stitching and find a bandage, gently wrapping it around her.

"Linds, I'm sorry." She grunts. "I shouldn't have put the bomb on the train in the first place. I tried to back out though... that's why Hutch stabbed me."

"Hey, it's ok." I say soothingly. "Yeah, I was mad at first. I still will be, honestly, if they don't get it off." She laughs, then winces in pain. "But I get it. You want to kill soldiers. Guess what? So do I."

"I get why." She grimaces.

"Here," I say, helping her up. "If you can walk, we'll go get water." She nods.

"Yeah, I can." She smiles. "Thanks."

Just as the three of us leave through the back, we meet Miles and Charlie. But there's no kid that resembles my brother or sister-in-law with them. My face pales.

"Is Danny...?"

"He's alive." Charlie assures me. "We got the bomb off, just... not Danny." I nod, relieved. We walk back to the woods to a clearing. Miles hands us water bottles they must have filled on their way here, then he goes to talk to Nora. I go and help Charlie pack her stuff.

"We'll do it." I tell her. "We'll get Danny back."

"I know." She says stiffly.

"I know you're upset about today," I continue, needing to comfort her. "But, at least you know he's alive. How'd he look?"

"He had a couple bruises," She says, emotionless. "But he's alive. So I'm ok." The sun's blocked out as Miles stands over her. He kneels down. She looks at him, clearly on the borderline of emotionless and overly emotional.

"That Uncle you knew when you were little," He says, after a moment. "Not dead. I just, um... I can't be him right now. Because I'm gonna have to kill Monroe. I'm gonna have to walk to Philly and kill my best friend." I look away.

"I get it, Miles," She replies, dryly. "But, honestly, I don't want to hear it." She stands. "You were right. Sitting here, moping... It won't help us get Danny back. And it will probably get us killed." Miles glances at me, and remains crouched, somewhat shocked at her attitude. I shrug as if to say '_what do you expect_?' "So, Philadelphia. Aaron, you coming?"

"Yes," The chubby man replies, hesitantly. "I'm coming." Charlie nods.

"Nora?" She continues. "You in, or are you gonna try to kill my brother again?"

"I'm in." She says, after glancing down and back.

"Miles, you?" He stands. He just tilts his head in a way of saying '_obviously_.' "That leaves you, Aunt Lindsay." She turns to me, knowing full well why any sane person would refuse to go back there, if they were me.

"I'm coming." I shrug. "Can't go far without me."

"All right, let's get going." She replies, "Got a lot of ground to cover." Miles takes a couple seconds to finish packing.

"Nice job, coach." Nora jokes, while walking past him. Miles holds out his hand to help me up. I don't take it. I just stand and we walk.

"Can't get far without you?" He mocks. "Says who?"

"Please, Miles." I smile. "Who's going to cook for you?"

"Uh, I'm the one who fed you for, like, _two months_ in Chicago." He replies.

"People eat anything during post traumatic shock." I laugh. "But your oatmeal sucks."

"Ooh." He inhales sharply. "That hurt, Linds. I was really proud of my fifteen year old Quaker's dinosaur oatmeal." I laugh in spite of the fact that I'm heading back into hell.


	18. Drexel

**Author's Note: I own Lindsay, no one else. :) Sex and Drugs. **

* * *

I let out a small yelp as the militia bullet hits the tree an inch from my head. But we got away. We somehow stole the cart successfully. Aaron gives Nora, who's nearly unconscious, some water.

"She... she was alright" He says, looking up at any of us for any answer. "It was just... just a little cut."

"Cuts get infected." Charlie replies, looking over the wound.

"Could've been anything." I add. "It got dirty, it wasn't properly dressed." If it's the latter, then it's my fault. It's my fault _again_. "Who knows?"

"How far away are we?" Aaron asks Miles, who's in the front, driving.

"Five hours," He answers, looking back. "Maybe six."

"Five _hours_?" Aaron shouts. "Miles!"

"It's the closest help I know, Aaron!" He fires back. Nora groans in pain as we hit a bump.

"Hey, Charlie." Aaron says. She looks up. "It's gonna... it's gonna be ok."

"It's gonna be ok?" She repeats. "Really?"

"Yeah." He replies, confused. "Why?"

"That's just an insane lie that people tell each other," She says, with bitter smile. "to cope, or something."

"Charlie!" Miles calls, knowing she's about to lose it.

"It's never ok!" She insists. "Look at Nora! Look at what happened to Danny on the train."

"Charlie, stop." I plead. "You're losing your head, You're panickin-"

"And what about Maggie?" She cuts me off harshly. "You couldn't save her, Aaron. Neither could you," She looks at me. "Did you say it was gonna be ok then?"

"All right." Miles looks back. "That's enough. What the hell's gotten into you?" Feeling guilty, now, and panicky, I turn to my brother.

"Miles..." I lean over the front of the wagon, towards the driver's seat, so he'll hear me over the pounding of hooves. "_Where_ are we going?" He hesitates before looking at me just once.

"You're not gonna like it." He begins. Oh God... which one of Miles' old_ 'pals'_ is it? "But, right now, it's our only option."

"Who?" I demand, already hating the answer.

"Drexel."

* * *

_There's a knock at the door. _

_"Come in." I call, grumpily. Its too early for this. The door opens and closes._

_"You don't sound happy." The all-too-familiar voice says._

_"I'm not." I reply sourly, turning the page of __Les Misérables__ and not looking up. "What do you want, Bass?" _

_"You sound so grumpy, yet you can't keep a smile off your face." He says, a smile in his own voice. I shut the enormous book and look up._

_"I'll have to work on that." I respond. He grins. _

_"You're still in bed?" He laughs. "C'mon, Linds, you know we've got a guest today." He holds out his hands and I take them, pulling myself to my feet. _

_"Yeah, the drug dealer." I wrinkle my nose in distaste. "What's this guy's name again?"_

_"Drexel," He answers, kissing my forehead._

_"Drexel..."_

_"No last name..." He shakes his head. "That we know of anyway." _

_"Hm." I say, shortly. I go behind my Chinese screen and pull on some clothes. A black fitted lace sweater tucked into a long, flowy white skirt. "Why do we have to deal with some druggie anyway?"_

_"He's really influential." Bass replies, as I come out. He smiles. "You look beautiful."_

_"Shut up." I roll my eyes, still smiling. "I'm not even dressed up."_

_"Well you better be tonight." He shrugs. I sit at my vanity and start brushing my hair, but he insists on doing it for me. I smile. It's funny seeing the 'President of the Republic' being all sweet like this. "We've gotta make a good impression."_

_"So... influential..." I repeat his description. "How?"_

_"He's got a lot of money, basically." Bass says, putting the brush down and pulling me into loose embrace, his arms around my waist._

_"And money like that buys weapons. There's a rapidly rising market for them, I know you know. And it's impossible to control. We're trying but... it's still going strong somehow, because people have plenty of guns. And money is what's buying them. So, we're gonna want to keep this guy on our good side. Even if we hate eveything he does. You get it."_

_"I do." I agree. "When will he be here?"_

_"Hard to say." He shrugs. "No GPSes or anything. God, you'd think after six years we'd get used to not having that stuff. But, whenever he comes, I'll come and get you." I smile. _

_"Ok. You go." I unwrap his arms. "You've got a country to run, and I've got a book to read." He sighs over-dramatically. _

_"Fine." He kisses me a final time before moving towards the door. "I don't know how you read that thing. It's 2,000 pages and sounds... old."_

_"That's because it __**is**__ old." I roll my eyes. One of the most irritating things about Bass is he won't read anything written before 1950 unless it's adapted."And it's my favourite book. Have some respect." _

_"Well as long as you like it." He rolls his eyes back and leaves, shutting the door behind him._

* * *

The horses trot to a stop at the gates. One of the guards steps forward and tell us to turn around, saying it's_ 'private property'._

"Tell Drexel Miles Matheson needs to see him... now." The man makes no move to acquiesce. "He's gonna be pissed if you don't." The guard looks at Miles for a second, then turns and walks toward the massive house.

"These are poppies." Aaron notes, looking at the bright red, half burned fields.

"Yep." Miles replies, not sparing a glance. He knows what they look like. "Heroin in the raw. Drexel supplies half the republic."

"So why are his fields extra crispy?" That's an understatement.

"I don't know." Miles sighs, finally looking at the fields.

"And this is a _friend_ of yours?" Aaron asks incredulously.

"Absolutely not." I scoff.

"I said he can help Nora." Miles corrects. "Didn't say he was a friend."

"He's a lowlife, perverted dick." I snarl. "Who-"

"Linds." Miles cuts me off. "Be civil. I know you hate the guy, but please, just... ok?" I nod once. I _really_ hate the guy. The guard calls out and the gate is opened. We begin to lift Nora out, Miles assuring we don't let her head fall.

"Miles Matheson, you son of a bitch!" I look up. Drexel is standing at the top of his two-way staircase. I try not throw daggers with my eyes. Guns cock all around us. We slowly put our hands up. "You got a lot of nerve showing your face around here." I glance at Miles nervously.

"Look, Drexel, my friend's sick." He glances to Nora, his hands aren't even up. "She needs a doctor." Drexel fires his gun into the air, causing Charlie, Aaron, and I to jump.

"Turn around, on your knees!" The drug dealer commands. Miles complies, as does Aaron, who was halfway out of the wagon. Charlie stays in the bed of the cart, and I remain with her.

"You're first." Drexel says, pointing his gun at Miles' head. I inhale softly but sharply.

"What are you doing, buddy?" Miles closes his eyes. "What are-"

"On the count of three." He says, shifting his stance. What is he doing? _What is he __**doing**__?! No, no, no, no_. "One..."

"Drexel, don't!" I scream. "_Please_!"

"Two..."

"_Drexel_!" Miles shouts.

"_Three_!" He fires.

Miles eyes close, squeezed shut. The gun clicks. The bastard never even loaded it! Miles opens his eyes and closes them again, softly now.

"You should see the look on your face." Drexel laughs, leaning near Miles' ear. "Get up." He says, nearly incoherent with laughter. My arms drop to my sides, and Charlie slowly lowers hers. "Come on, it's all fun and games." He waves the gun. "Can't you take a joke?"

"Yeah, it's hilarious." Miles mutters.

"Put your hands down," He waves off his guards, still laughing. "Put them down, put them down. Everyone in the house." We start walking inside. "Ah... no weapons. House rules." He shrugs playfully. His men take our arms, including my sword. He leads us inside the house, Miles waves for me to stand closer to him.

"Don't linger anywhere." He whispers to me. I nod.

"Ok, so the doc is downstairs," Drexel says, and a man carries Nora away, "I have rooms for all of you upstairs. Wine... hot baths." I catch his eyes on Charlie, then they flick to me. He smirks, half in recognition, half in... something I'd rather not think about.

"Uh, well, we'd like to, you know, stick together," Aaron says, glancing around the over lavishly decorated house. "If it's all the same to you."

"You turning down my hospitality?" He asks, looking offended. "Like I'm some kind of schmuck?"

"No, he's not. He's grateful." Miles answers quickly. "Aren't you, Aaron?"

"No. _Yes_!" He says, catching the hint. "I am sorry." Drexel smiles and nods.

"I'm gonna go with Nora." Miles walks toward the stairs. "You three..._ be grateful._"

"Sure." Aaron continues, uncertainly. "I'm really glad you brought us here."

"So, good." Drexel nods. "You'll have to excuse me, I'm gonna go bury myself in tail." He grins, looking up at two of his girls on the upper deck. One of the girls down here comes and shows us to our rooms. I thank her, noting an enormous bruise on her cheek. She smiles, clearly thrilled by my sliver of propriety, and leaves.

* * *

_I sit in the lounge room, with Bass, on the couch. Well, technically, he's laying down, his head on my lap. I run my fingers through his curly hair, just to see how it ripples when I do. _

_"Aren't you supposed to waiting for Drexel?" I murmur. _

_"Miles is doing it." He sighs, tossing a faded baseball up and catching it. "You know, right about now, before the Black-Out, we'd be watching a movie..."_

_"What would we be watching?" I smile._

_"What do you think?"_

_"I'd personally go with __Les Mis__. Or __Sweeney Todd__." He wrinkles his nose._

_"Those are alright." He looks up at me. "But honestly, it's a Monday night. Wouldn't you rather something funny after working all day?"_

_"Ok." I agree. "What would you want?"_

_"Like, __Tommy Boy__." He laughs. "Or-" Miles bursts in._

_"There you guys are!" He says angrily. "I've looked everywhere!"_

_"What do you want, Miles?" Bass sits up. _

_"Drexel is here." He says, clearly annoyed at us for not knowing. "He just pulled up. And you two aren't even dressed!" He gestures to Bass' loose, not-all-the-way-buttoned shirt. But Miles is already dressed up in simple black suit and tie._

_"You suited up!" I grin._

_"Now that." Bass laughs. "That... would work. I could definitely watch__ How I Met Your Mother__ on Netlfix right now!"_

_"What are you guys talking about?" Miles throws up his hands. "Netlfix has been dead for six years! Whatever... Just, Bass, get off my sister. Lindsay, go put on a fancy dress or something."_

_"Calm down." I assure him, walking past him out the door. "We'll dress up nice for the drug dealer."_

* * *

"Hey, Lindsay?" Charlie calls through the door.

"Yeah, Charlie?"

"Miles brought Nora up." There's a pause, as I stand up immediately and open the door.

"She ok?"

"She's alive." Is her quiet reply. I nod and follow her out and into another room, where Miles has just laid down the still sleeping Nora.

"How is she?" Charlie asks.

"Doc says 50/50." Miles replies, arms crossed. He starts shoving his things into the pack on the table.

"What are you doing?" Charlie inquires, turning to face him.

"Packing." He doesn't look up. "We're gonna load her on that wagon, get going after Danny." I nod. I'm so ready to leave. "I don't think we should stay here a second longer than we have to. You've seen Drexel."

"Seen me do what?" The man himself asks, strolling in uninvited. "Aw, leaving so soon?"

"The doc did a hell of a job," Miles nods. "So, thanks, I mean it. And I owe you one."

Drexel scoffs. "You owe me one... right" He turns to Charlie. "Did Miles ever tell you _how_ we know each other? Hm?" _Oh God_... "It was... It was back when he was General of the militia. And you should have seen him. Man, he would order men in front of a firing squad the way you and I would order a beer." I glance up at Miles. He knows I always hated that he did this for Drexel. "And I _loved_ him for it! He was my guy! He eliminated my competition, and in return, I lined his war chest with so much gold, you could dive in and _swim._ Then, of course, he deserted. And because I was on 'Team Miles', I was unfairly tainted as if_ I_ was a scumbag traitor too." He points at Miles accusingly. "So like you said, you owe me for so many things." He looks at me and Charlie. "Come with me." This can't be good. We follow him out to the entrance stairs.

"I told you dealing with him was a bad idea." I whisper to Miles.

"Lindsay, not now." He replies.

"Do you know how much these poppies were worth..." Hes gestures with his hands. "Up in smoke.

"What, somebody torched them?" Miles asks, uninterested.

"Yeah. Drunk Irish family up the road. The O'Hallorans."

"Why?" Miles doesn't look at him. "What'd you do to piss them off?"

"Nothing" He saids defensively. "Honestly. They just have a problem with heroin, can you believe that?"

"Yeah, Drexel, I can believe that." He nods. "So what's the big deal? Why don't you handle them yourself?"

"Believe me, I have _tried_." He sighs. "But it is harder than it sounds. Damn potato-eating, leprechaun... _bastards_."

"Ok." Miles sighs. "I'll take care of them" I suppress a groan. I never wanted Miles to get back into this. "But then, we are even."

"That is _so_ kind of you." Drexel says, looking truly appreciative. "But no thanks. I don't want _you_ to do it." He points at Charlie. "I want _her_."

"_Her_?" Miles repeats, incredulously. "No, that's not happening."

"You won't be able to get in." Drexel argues, circling Charlie like a vulture. "But she will... _easily_."

"C'mon!" Miles pleads. "I said I'd kill them. That's all you get."

"You can't, she _can_, and if she _doesn't_," He points to the house. "I'm gonna start by smothering Latina Barbie... then the rest of you, one by one."

"Drexel, please." I beg. "She's still a kid. Let me do it. I'm better at fighting, and-"

"I'd rather you stay here." He smiles and winks at me. "She goes... or I smother you all. Lindsay last." He points to me, his finger just touching my cheek. "You know why, Miles."

"I'd love to see you try, you son of a bitch." Miles steps forward.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Charlie shouts. "I'll do it." Drexel smiles, his teeth biting down on his lower lip.

"Awesome. Come with me." He gestures. We follow. "Uh, uh, uh. Just her." I look up at Miles and he nods. Charlie nervously goes with him. The rest of us go back to Nora's room.

"Miles." I say immediately.

"I know." He huffs. "She's not going."

"She _can't_!" I add.

"I know." He repeats.

"Why?" I ask. "_Why_ did you bring us here? You _know_ how he is!"

"It was the closest help!" He shouts. "Now we can sit here and talk about how many lives I'm currently screwing up, or we could figure out how to fix it!" I sigh, but nod.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." There's a soft knock at the door and Charlie walks in. She completey ignores us, going straight to the mirror. She stares at herself, wearing a short, lowcut dress and high black heels.

"_Go talk to her_." I mouth. He nods and goes up behind her.

"This is my fault." He admits. "I got you into this. But there is... _no way_ you are walking out of here."

"How are we gonna get out of here?" She demands. "How are we gonna get _Nora_ out? If I don't do this, you all die."

"So you're just gonna kill some random guy?" Aaron asks.

"So what?" She shrugs. "I've done it before."

"How are you talking like this?" He shakes his head. "Who the hell are you?"

"Aaron-"

"This isn't some militia soldier!" He cuts her off. "I mean the only thing these people are doing is torching Drexel's heroin! We should be sending them a fruit basket, not killing them!" She stays silent. "_Charlie_... they are innocent! This is _murder_!"

"I don't have a choice!" She shouts. "How many times do you want me to say that?" She turns to Miles. "You're the one always telling me to toughen up. And you're right. The world's not a bunch of pretty postcards!" The door opens and Drexel intrudes.

"Oh..." He looks at Charlie. "Perfect, eh? Ooh, just the right amount of biscuit... so, head of the family, his name is Bill O'Halloran. His guys are gonna search you." He pulls out a chopstick-like hair pin. "So put this in your hair, get him alone, and then shove this in his eye," he pulls off the top of the pin to reveal an incredibly sharp, but needle thin, dagger. "Now, my guys can get you close, tell them you're one of my regular girls, and you got the goods on me... because, uh, I've been... roughing you up all the time and you're _sick_ of it. Got it?" She turns back to face him, the pin now firmly placed, keeping her hair up.

"What do you mean roughing me up?"

"Oh... Oh, You're right. He'll never buy it." He turns quickly, his fist hitting her face hard. She falls.

"_Charlie_!" Miles shouts. He wraps his hand around Drexel's throat, while I run to help my now bruised niece up. I hear guns cock as I lift her up. He moves Miles hand mockingly.

"There..." Drexel indiactes her already swelling bruise. "That's better, huh?" She just glares at him, holding her face, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Now he'll take you in like a... lost, little kitten." He turns to go but then stops, and speaks to Aaron. "Did... did you have something you want to say to me, tough guy?" He shakes his head, answering the question for Aaron, then turns to me, shaking it again, a joking smile playing on his lips.

Aaron takes a quivering breath as he and his armed men leave. Charlie just stands there, shaking, and trying her best not to cry. I look up at Miles. He knows what I'm thinking... _that sick son of a bitch._

* * *

_"Lindsay, this is Drexel." Bass says, gesturing. "Drexel, this is Lindsay."_

_"Lindsay..." He plays with my name. "Who are you?"_

_"It's very nice to meet you, Drexel." I say, all fake smiles and proper etiquette, shaking his hand. "I'm Lindsay Matheson, General Matheson's sister, and President Monroe's girlfriend." It takes a lot of effort to not wrinkle my nose at that. I still really hate that word. Honestly, I wish Bass would propose. Not because I want to move things faster, I like where we're at. But because 'President Monroe's financee' sounds a hell of a lot more official and grown up than girlfriend. _

_"Oh, ok." He smiles, nodding. "So you've got a__** sex buddy**__. Will I be meeting Matheson's too, or..." My mouth drops a little for so many reasons. To name a few, I was just called a 'sex buddy' by a stranger. He referred to my brother, the leader of his __**country**__, as just 'Matheson', and (a marginally less important reason, but still...) does he sing-song everything? I love to sing, too, but seriously, who sings the words 'sex buddy'? _

_"Uh... no." Bass replies, clearly angry, but trying to keep cool. "No, the General doesn't have a girlfriend at the moment, so it'll just be the four of us." _

_"Alright." He shrugs. "So where is your brother?" He asks me._

_"I am right here." Miles calls, walking into the well-lit room. "Nice to finally meet you, Drexel."_

_"Ahh, so this is the famous General!" He says, an idiotic grin on his face. "It is wonderful to meet you too, Mr. Butcher of Baltimore." Miles just smiles in regards to his hiddeous nickname. _

_"So, dinner, dessert, and then drinks?" Miles suggests. _

_"Sure." Drexel nods. _

* * *

We watch Charlie walk down the street, her hands stiffly at her sides, struggling to walk in the ridiculous heels.

"I have known that girl since she was in pigtails," Aaron comments. "And she can be a pain in the ass, but she is-"

"What do you want me to do?" Miles growls at him. "There's thirty armed guards here. And instead of Nora, I got you." I glare at him.

"What about me?"

"Yeah, you're good." He shrugs. But I'm not leaving you with that pig with no other protection than _Aaron_."

"Screw you, Miles!" Aaron says. Drexel comes back in. No longer trying to act nice, or even civil, I glare at him.

"Here, catch." He tosses Miles a coin pouch.

"What's this?" Miles holds it up.

"Well, it's for your trouble." He says innocently. "And burial expenses for the girl."

"Excuse me?" Miles blinks several times.

"Well, yeah," Drexel shrugs. "If she kills O'Halloran, his family's gonna be just a little pissed. She's not getting out of there alive. C'mon, guys, it's just fun and games. Anyway... now we're square." He leaves.

"That _bastard_!" I shout, going after him.

"Lindsay! Stop, Linds!" He grabs my arm. "Don't get yourself killed."

"Ok, all right." Aaron puts his hands up. "Ok, listen to me. If it's just you, Miles, then you can get out. And you can go after her."

"If I go," He shakes his head. "You and Lindsay, and Nora are dead."

"You don't go, then _Charlie_ is dead!" He argues. "Look, I will do the best that I can here, which I realize isn't much. But you have to choose between us and Charlie, and-"

"Choose Charlie." I finish for him. "Please. Choose _her._"

"I am asking you to choose Charlie." He agrees. "She is your family. And she's pretty much my family too." Miles looks at me. I know what he's thinking. He's thinking _I'm his family_.

"Miles, if you don't go, I will." I say quietly. "And you always say it, and you're right: you're a better fighter. So, who do you think has a better chance at getting her back? You stay here, we probably all die. You go, at least you and Charlie can go and get Danny." He sighs.

"It's not gonna be easy to get out of here, alive. You know that." He looks up at Aaron.

"Uh... just, uh, take care of the- the guy at the door." He points. "I have an idea."

"Where do you want me?" I ask him.

"Here." He decides. "If someone comes after Nora, fight them off." I nod.

"Ok." They go out of the room. I hear their feet on the steps but then it fades. Nothing but silence. I walk over to Nora. "Nora... I'm sorry." I whisper. "I know you can't hear me... but I'm so sorry. If I had dressed the wound properly... God, we wouldn't even be here." I put my face in my hands. It's all my fault. We may all die becaus of me. Maggie already _has_ died because of me! The tears flow. I don't bother holding them back. No one's here, except Nora. And she's probably not going to wake up again. It feels good to cry, sometimes.

After ten straight minutes of irrational crying, I look up. Hopefully Miles got out. Aaron should have been back by now. Unless he got caught, in which case, someone should be here to smother Nora and take me to Drexel.

There's the sound of footsteps outside the door and a guard comes in, followed by another man. The latter isn't physically intimidating and he's unarmed, so I'm guessing he's the doctor. Another man comes in, behind them. A guard again. They all eye me for a second, something like pity in their eyes.

"Drexel wants to see you." One of them says. The doctor and a guard grab Nora, towing her away.

"Be careful!" I demand. The third man grabs my arm and pulls me down the stairs after them, and outside. There, on the large front lawn, is Aaron being spoken to by Drexel.

"Give her her booster, Doc!" Drexel shouts, when he sees us there.

"What is that?" Aaron asks, his eyes on the needle in the doctor's hand.

"Pure adrenaline." He answers. He sticks it into Nora arm and shoots her up. There's no response. _She's dead. Oh my God, she's dead. She's not... she's not waking up_. For five seconds, there's nothing but silence. Then Nora breathes. She gasps in air, looking around wildly. As terrified as I am right now, I'm also relieved. Incredibly so. Aaron calls her a few times. She nearly falls over, but the muscled man keeps her up.

"You're gonna shoot us?" Aaron asks.

"No, _Chubs_." Drexel pulls out a pair of mismatched pistols. "You're gonna shoot each other."

"Each other?" He repeats. "Wh... what about Lindsay?" Drexel smiles, my blood runs cold. I know what he's planning to do. One of two things. He'll either just rape me repeatedly or he'll stick a needle in my arm, injecting me with heroin, until I'm addicted. Then I'll sleep with him willingly. I'll do anything just for that next dose of sweet relief. And he's got enough of it to keep me around for the rest of my life.

"Right, Lindsay..." He signals for his guy to bring me over. He complies and Drexel grabs my arm as soon as I'm in reach, roughly pulling me closer to me. "_Linds_... is staying with me." He grins and whispers in my ear. "Don't act so surprised, you know I've been wanting this for a _long_ time." I try to pull away and he laughs.

"Let me go, you son of a-"

"Aww, cute." He chuckles. He pulls me so my back is against his front, his arms on top of mine, and his hands holding my wrists. He rests his chin on my head, so I feel it move when he talks. "The Lindsay Matheson I knew was all _'ain't ain't a word_' and table manners." He releases me, and hands Aaron and Nora their pistols, explaining the rules of the 'game'. He walks back over to me, and holds me like he did before. "And later, you and I are going to play our own game." I mentally throw every swear word in every language I know at him. I've always hated him for being like this, but I never thought he'd actually go this far.

* * *

_I sit with Bass on one side, Miles on the other, and Drexel across frolm me. Yes, we have other tables, but Drexel insisted it was ridiculous to have sixteen unused seats. So, we settled for a plain, perfectly square table. _

_"...not to mention heroin's medical uses." Drexel is saying. I look up, tuning back into the dinner. _

_"I didn't know heroin __**had**__ medical uses." I say, pretending to be interested._

_"Just the one, really." Miles replies. "It's an alternative to morphine." _

_"Oh." I nod. _

_"But, a lot easier to come by nowadays." Drexel smiles. "Especially from me." Oh, now he's just trying too hard. _

_"Ok, so what's the official deal here?" Bass asks, getting down to business. "What are you proposing?"_

_"Well, basically," Drexel puts down his fork. "You buy heroin exclusively from me, no one else, and you... well, you get the best quality heroin, plus a new buddy of the Monroe-Matheson Republic."_

_"We're not interested in a poster boy, Drexel." Miles says sardonically. _

_"I didn't say poster boy. I said __**friend**__." He stresses. "And we better make some deal. I came all the way from Columbia, you know. Away from my bed... my whores." _

_"We have women here, friend." Bass says, looking to avoid conflict. _

_"So I've seen." Drexel allows, his eyes on me. Ok, is nobody else noticing his eyes on me? Ok, woah. He just rubbed my leg. That wasn't Bass. Bass is nervous. He wouldn't do that when he's nervous. What the hell is this guy's problem? Is he still staring at me? Yeah. Yeah, he is. I uncross and cross my legs, to show I do not encourage this. _

_"Anyway," Miles moves the topic. "That's it? Heroin, money, a new friend?"_

_"Well, no." He admits, finally pulling his greedy eyes off me. "As I'm sure you can imagine, I have a lot of competition. You take care of that competition? Boom. Money... on your part." Miles looks at Bass. _

_"Ok, well, we'll finish this over drinks." He suggests. "Draw up a contract. Bass?" _

_"Absolutely." He grins. "I've got some MacCutchen scotch just begging to be opened. Linds?" _

_"No, thank you, Bass." I smile, and shake my head. "I should be getting to bed. Busy day tomorrow." Not really, I just don't want to be around Drexel when he's drunk. _

_"Aw, you sure?" Drexel asks. I nod._

_"I'm sure." I offer him, a polite smile. "Thank you." He checks over his shoulder to see that Bass and Miles have already gone to a lounge room off of the dining room. Drexel moves his fingers down my bare shoulder and arm. I'm dressed in a black, high-low, sleeveless gown with, a Peacock pattern embroidered on the top, so a lot of skin is exposed. "I was really interested in getting to know __**you**__, Lindsay Matheson." His touch moves to my exposed back. I step away from him._

_"I'm pretty boring." I reply, my hand on the door knob. "I'll just spare you."_

_"Come on." He pleads. "It's just fun and games."_

_"Drexel, you coming?" Miles calls. _

_"Have a drink for me." I nod towards the room and slip out, shutting the door firmly behind me me._

* * *

Aaron and Nora glance at me, the guns frozen in their hands. I try my best to communicate through my eyes. _Shoot him. And if you can't, shoot me. I'd rather die than stay here._ Drexel may have been thinking the same thing, because he quickly announces,

"Now, don't get any funny ideas about shooting me, or Lindsay..." He opens the door of a huge army car and throws me in. He stands behind the door. "Because this baby..." he taps it. "Is armoured. "Ready? On three. _One_..." I try opening the door on the the other side. Drexel doesn't look at me, but he snickers softly, amused that I would even try.

"I'm not gonna shoot you." Aaron tells Nora. His voice is muted by the thick window of the car.

"_Two_..." Drexel continues,, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"But I want you to shoot me." He finishes.

"What?" Nora asks, her face a perfect mask of confusion.

"Aaron, _no_!" I call, though I'm not sure anybody but Drexel can hear me.

"You, hush." He snaps at me. "This is getting interesting... _three_!" He jumps forward.

"Go ahead and shoot." Aaron insists, closing his eyes.

"You're crazy." Nora shakes her head, her eyes still wild, her face sweaty.

"Come on!" Drexel roots.

"Miles and Charlie, they need you." He explains. "Nobody needs me, I can't help anyone. You can help get Danny ." She shakes her head again. "Please... Nora... or he'll kill us both."

"Aaron..." She says, through her teeth. "No." Aaron sighs, and lifts his gun.

"What are you _doing_!?" I call. "_Stop_!"

"I told you to shut up!" Drexel shouts, delivering a swift blow to my cheek. I gasp, holding my cheek, but immediately turn my eyes back to Aaron. He cocks the gun.

"What are you doing?" Nora asks, still breathing heavy. I grip the dashboard tightly, my hands cramping. Aaron's hand twitches slightly and he aims the gun and fires, into his own chest.

"_AARON_!" Nora and I scream together. The guards hold her back. Drexel shuts the door, not bothering to lock it. He knows he doesn't need to, I'm frozen in shock. He approaches Aaron's body slowly. He kicks his foot, nothing. I sigh, my head dropping and tears dropping with it. After a few seconds of stunned silence, there's a shot.

I look up, ready to yell at someone for shooting a dead man, when I see Drexel. He's dead. Aaron is sitting up, his gun still aimed at Drexel. What... the hell just happened? Aaron sits up, pulling a heavily dented flask out of his pocket. He shot the... he shot the flask? Holy hell, that was genius! Je points the revolver at no guard in particular.

"Does anybody know how many bullets this psycho put in this gun?" He asks, out of breath. "Cause I sure don't." He lifts himself to his feet. "Please... please, I just want to take her..." he pulls Nora away from them. "And my other friends and get out of here alive..." Drexel's guys contemplate this. "_Please_."

"Grab your crap and go, now." One of the more muscled men allows. Aarons nods in thanks. Nora heads into the house to get the stuff, and Aaron opens the unlocked door of the car.

"Lindsay?" I look up. "It's ok, Linds, you can come out." He puts out his hand and I take it, still in shock, and pull my out of the cramped car. As soon as I'm on the car's step, I hug him.

"Oh my God, Aaron!" I breath in relief. "You... that was genius."

"Thanks." He nods, still out of breath. "It was spur of the moment, really. Are _you_ ok?"

"I'm all right." I nod. "Thanks."

"Come on," He helps me down to the ground. "Let's get our stuff and find Miles."

* * *

We're just getting to the crossroads when we hear Miles' voice behind us.

"Hey!" He jogs up to us. "What the hell happened? How'd you get away?" We try to find the perfect way to explain, but Miles turns to me. "Are you ok? You're bleeding, what happened?"

"Drexel punched me." I reply, touching my lip and cheek. "He was wearing a ring... and I guess my teeth cut my lip." He sighs, and asks Nora the same. She nods. He takes both of our bags, and looks between us.

"What happened?"

"Aaron shot the son a bitch." Nora replies, with a slight smile. He looks at her in utter shock.

"Aaron? Shot Drexel?" He looks at Aaron, then to Nora and me. "_This_ Aaron?"

"I think I broke a rib," He answers for himself. "But, yeah." Miles looks impressed and takes one of the bags off of him. "What about you?" Aaron asks Charlie. "Did you do it?"

She shakes her head, "No."

"Good." He sighs in relief, handing her her pack.

"So, everything turned out ok." He adds. He walks past Nora and towards me. "Hey," He wipes blood off my lip. "You ok, seriously? Drexel didn't... didn't hurt you?"

"No." I shake my head. "No, I'm fine. Really. I'm just glad we never have to see that bastard again."

"I'll drink to that." He sighs.

"No you won't," I grin. "I dumped your alcohol."

"Ahahahaha." He says sarcastically. "I've got more." He pulls MacCutchen out of his bag.

* * *

_I glare out the window at the army car being pulled away by horses. _

_"Linds, will you stop glaring already?" Bass laughs, handing me a glass of scotch. "I know you've held it back all week, but honestly... he's gone now." _

_"Thank God." I roll my eyes, drinking. "Did he really have to stay for a week?"_

_"Staying on the good side, remember?" He chuckles. "Was he that bad?"_

_"Did you not notice the way he was incessantly hitting on me?" I raise an eyebrow. _

_"A little." He admits. _

_"I did." Miles cuts in, a glass in his hand too. "And I didn't like the way he was looking at you, either."_

_"Thank you." I say back._

_"Which is why I'll be dealing with Drexel on my own, now." He adds. "Guy wants to talk, I'll go to Columbia. I don't want you around him anymore. Of course, I can't guarantee he'll never be around, but... I can try." _

_"I toast to you, then, good sir." I grin, and down my scotch. _


	19. Disassociation

**Author's Note: Ok, so I decided to skip The Children's Crusade. I love that episode, I really do, but every way I wrote it, it just dragged on. Mainly because, as you know, the episode focuses largely on Charlie and Rachel, so Lindsay would not really be in it a whole lot. But there is a brief recap at the beginning, as you'll see. Ok, I'm done. :)**

Miles and Aaron are arguing. I mean, really arguing. Miles is always bullying him, but this is something else. Aaron raises his hand to reveal something, still speaking, and Miles' face grows livid. I can tell by his face, he's fuming. And worried. And that's not good.

Charlie steps in and breaks them up. I hear her say something about the lighthouse. _Of course_. Of course that's what they'd be talking about. I don't know what the hell happened. One second, I was standing with my hands up in surrender. The next I saw light. Blinding light, circling around, eminating from the lighthouse I had stood in front of hours before.

Miles was stunned. But he used it to our advantage. Saving those kids. The kids that I'm watching pour out of little boats and onto the docks, ten at a time. The boy, Peter, already adopting a few more. I smile at him as he nods in thanks. He's a good kid. I hope that my nephew is like him. Kind, and caring. I hope we're not chasing after the typical teenage boy.

Charlie looks down at Aaron's hand, and looks up at him, disbelief clear on her face. I walk over to them.

"Hey." I say, quietly. Aaron closes his hand quickly. All I see is a black cord.

"Show her Aaron." Miles commands. He sighs and opens his hand slowly, revealing a silver pendant, a darkened power symbol in the middle.

"Nice... necklace?" I say in response. It's actually pretty ugly.

"_This_... is what lit up the lighthouse." He tells me. My eyes grow wide. He goes on before I can ask. "Ben gave this to me, when the militia came for him. He told me to find Grace Beaumont."

"Well, then, where's Grace Beaumont?" I demand.

"She's... I don't know." He admits. "While you guys went to get Nora, M..." He pauses, taking a deep breath. He forces himself to continue. "Maggie and I found her house. It was deserted, ransacked. She'd been taken. But, Lindsay, she built a computer. Whoever this woman is... I think she had a pendant too."

"So... that necklace turns the power back on?" He nods. "Just... by itself. No warning?"

"Pretty much." Aaron sighs.

"So... What do we do?" Charlie echoes my thoughts.

"We destroy it." Miles says immediately.

"Or... we don't do anything, yet." Aaron argues. "Ben didn't want it destroyed. The last thing your brother asked of me was to keep this safe. So I'm respecting that. Please don't try to stop me." Miles starts to say something smart, but I stop him.

"Miles." I say quietly. He looks down at me.I shake my head in a silent but firm '_no_'.

"Hey." Nora jogs up to us. "What the hell are you guys doing? Let's move." I glance up at Miles. He's watching after Aaron and Charlie, who went to pack.

"She's right." I answer. "Aaron, Charlie, come on." After a second, Miles pipes up.

"We start walking now, we can be in Freeport before sundown tomorrow." He shrugs his pack on and we head out.

* * *

**Freeport, Pennsylvania**

"This isn't gonna work." Aaron announces, in regards to Nora paying our way to the bridge.

"It'll work." Miles argues firmly.

"Find another bridge." Aaron suggests, adding sarcastically, "Maybe even one that doesn't have militia crawling all over it."

"Closest bridge is in Morgantown." Miles glances back at him. "It's a hundred miles away."

"There's gotta be one closer." Charlie insists.

"There's one in Pittsburgh." I reply. "I used it when I... when I left Philly. I remember because militia almost caught me on it." That's when I decided to stick to the woods.

"There isn't now." He shakes his head. "Militia blew them all up. And boats are torched on sight." He sighs, knowing that last part was his doing. "Anyway, we get across this bridge and it's a straight shot to Danny." Charlie agrees upon hearing that.

Miles nods to us, after a second. Nora has signaled him. We walk out from behind the wall we were hiding behind and join up with her. The militia soldier opens the gate for us and we walk on. The torches lit every five feet cast our shadows on the ground, but ours are not alone. There's militia here. For some reason, they're hiding. We're being ambushed. I look up and see Miles has noticed the gun moving behind a pillar. I try to look unphased.

"When I say so, we're gonna turn around and run like hell." He murmurs, just loud enough for Aaron, lagging behind, to hear.

"What?" He asks immediately.

"We're walking into a trap." He concludes. It's only a few seconds before the armed men begin to creep away from their hiding places. "_Now_!" I turn on my heel, nearly having both feet in the air and run.

"Fire!" A soldier calls. With the torches blazing past me, and bullets whizzing toward me, running like hell becomes quite literal. Aaron pushes open the gate and we duck under the striped pole. Miles turns for a second and I look behind me to see what's stopped him. A demon did, completing the hell analogy.

Sergeant Strausser gazes steadily back at us. I freeze, unable to move for fear. My eyes flick back frantically between Miles and Strausser. Strausser's cool gaze is terrifying, but Miles' slightly scared expression is even more frightening.

"Linds, go!" He shouts, pushing me forward as he turns back around. "_Go!_"

"Miles..." I whisper, as Strausser's eyes land on me. His gaze alone keeps me there as if he's got me tied up again.

"Lindsay, dammit,_ run_!" My brother grips my hand, pulling me with him, my feet slamming the pavement. He's faster, he's always been faster, but right now I feel like I'm barely moving. Surely they've gained on us now. They must be on our heels. I can feel hands on my shoulder, on my arm, my face, jerking me back into hell.

But that doesn't happen. The only hand on my skin belongs to Miles. And it's pulling me away. It pulls me sharply to the side and I narrowly avoid a metal pole and a concussion. Miles stops running. My hand still in his, I run into him. He stands there, breathing heavy, one arm still around my shoulders.

"Come on... this way." Miles pants, leading us (half dragging me) to an ally where he believes is safe. Orders are still being shouted, as to where to try and find us. Orders that are being dictated by Sergeant Strausser.

* * *

_I can't glare. It's like I've forgotten how. Or maybe I'm just too scared to. It doesn't matter, really, because I can't do it. I can just gaze at the floor, hoping to hide my fear. _

_My hands are bound behind my back, and to the cold metal chair. My ankles are tied as well. They pulled me out of bed at six o' clock, and I'm in nothing but pajama shorts and a loose tank top. I nearly begged Bass for more clothes, but it's still Summer and he insists he doesn't want me to be too hot. _

_I jump as __**his**__ fingers touch my bare upper back, caressing it. His other hand rests firmly on my hip. I don't know why I'm so scared of him touching me like that. Uncomfortable, yes, I would understand that. But scared? It doesn't add up. I know Bass will never let him go that far in his interrogation. 'Only hurt her physically' he once had the audacity to say right in front of me, 'nothing else'. No, nothing else. Because only he, the great General Monroe is allowed to do that._

_Even so, I can't help the whimpers that escape my lips as Strausser runs his hands down my slim frame. He turns the chair, my head spinning, so I'm facing him, his hands gripping my arms. _

_"So..." He says, in his misleadingly soft voice. "Let's get started for today, shall we, Ms. Matheson?" I swallow, unable to glare at him, but keeping the fear from filling my eyes as much as possible. His soft, wandering caresses suddenly turn into a backhanded slap. Another one, on the other side. I cry out. A punch to the stomach. Then a pause. An eery, calm, maddening silence. I don't see him, but I feel him behind me. He pulls my head back by my hair to look up at him. "Now... same old question: Where's Miles?" _

* * *

"Are you ok?" Miles turns to Charlie after checking both ways for militia. "Did you get hit?"

"No, I'm fine." She shakes her head, out of breath. "I'm ok."

"What the hell was that?" Aaron whispers.

"I've never seen guns like that." Charlie adds.

"They're from the armory in Philly." Miles replies.

"How'd they find us?" Aaron asks.

"It's Strausser." Miles looks towards me. Nora looks over too. I'm a distance away, in the shadows, hiding.

"Who's Strausser?" Charlie responds.

"Believe me, you don't want to know." Nora replies for him. "And you definitely don't want him to know you." I make a small noise, something between a sob and a gasp. Charlie looks toward me. I make eye contact with her. I see Rachel again... Rachel's eyes. I pull my gaze away quickly, knowing that Strausser killed her.

"So, how do we get across that bridge?" Aaron refocuses.

"We don't. Not with him here." Miles sighs. "We gotta get out of town."

"Try the bridge at Morgantown?" Nora suggests.

"I don't see how we have another choice." He looks at her.

"You said that's a hundred miles!" Charlie protests, still whispering. "That's _days_ out of the way!"

"Charlie," He says firmly. "I commanded the entire damn militia, and there's only one man that ever scared me. He's out there right now." He pauses. "We're in trouble." She sighs, thinking she has no other choice.

"It doesn't matter." I say, quietly. "He'll catch us anyway." The four of them look at me. I catch Miles' eye. "He will. It doesn't matter if we sit here, or run, or go to Morgantown. We could dig a hole to _China_, but he'll find us."

"Strausser?" Charlie asks.

"No." I reply, a small smile on my lips at her ignorance. "General Monroe. And once he has you, Strausser has you. So just stop talking, stop making plans. I'm sorry I didn't realize it until now, Charlie, but Bass has Danny. He's gone. We're not getting him back."

"No, no, no." Miles breathes, trotting over to me. "Lindsay, you can't do this. Not now."

"We're not getting him back." I repeat, lifelessly. Charlie has tears in her eyes, but I don't care. She won't know what it is to cry until Monroe sets Strausser on her. Which he will, inevitably. Just like he did me, just like he did Rachel.

"Lindsay, you cannot do this!" Miles whisper-shouts. "You know that's not true, ok? You know-"

"I couldn't walk for a week and a half." I burst, reaching for the first, most painful memory of Strausser I could conjure.

"What?" He leans back, startled.

"I couldn't walk." I repeat. "Strausser did something to my knee, I don't know what. One of his... his _tools_. He drove it in. It _hurt_... Miles. Bad. I couldn't walk. I just laid in bed, _Bass_' bed, while he 'took care of me'. Giving me medicine for the swelling, feeding me... he even read to me, the sick bastard." I look up into Miles' eyes. "It almost worked. That was the closest I ever came to telling him where you were. But I didn't. The next week, he put me in a chair, and let Strausser in." I hear quiet crying and see Charlie. My brows furrow slightly. Why is _she_ crying?_ She_ can't still feel the pain. She doesn't even know what Bass looks like, let alone what he can do. Why is _she_ upset?

"Lindsay, stop." Miles commands. Not softly. A firm, strong command that demands obedience. His soldier voice. "You are scaring Charlie. Now _stop_."

"I _have_ stopped." I say, with a smile, like a child.

"Listen to me, or I swear to God, I will pick you up and _carry_ you to Morgantown." He demands, his face livid. "You are _not_ doing this. This isn't you. This is Bass, getting in your head. Ok? You don't believe any of that. If you let yourself think that you do, then Bass wins."

"Miles, you're not-"

"No, _shut up_." He cuts me off. I stare at him. He's never told me to shut up. Not so harshly. "If you believe you can't get away, why are you still standing in the shadows? Why didn't you go out and scream where you were? It would've saved you a lot of trouble. Now listen. _Listen to me_!" He shouts, as I struggle to get away from him. He's gripping my arm tightly. I stop.

"I'm listening." I say quietly, stock still and smiles gone.

"We are going to get away." He says, like he fully believes it. "You escaped from Bass before. You, a woman on her own, escaped with the entire militia on your heels. And now you're with me, and Nora, and even Charlie and Aaron can fight some. And I repeat, _me_. And I'm not letting anything happen to you. We are going to go to Philly and get Danny. Then we're getting the hell out of there. Got it?" I don't say anything. "Lindsay, I need you to be with us on this. Are you with us?" Finally, slowly, I nod. He lets go of my arm and pulls me into a hug.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. What the hell happened to me? I haven't done anything like that... in a long time. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry." I look up. "Charlie, I'm... I'm sorry. I don't... I don't know what..." She just nods, a small attempt at a smile gracing her lips.

"It's ok." Miles says back. He pulls me at arm's length. "It's going to be ok, Linds. I'm going to protect you, little sister." I just let my brother hold me for a few moments, my eyes closed, letting tears slip out silently. Charlie, Nora, and Aaron just sit, talking quietly to each other.

"Ok..." I pull away. "We need to go." He smiles.

"Better already." He hands me my pack and we set off, walking through the city, trying to leave the way we came. I go to drink some water, but find I'm out. I shrug it off, throwing the bottle back into my bag. I feel a nudge on my arm, and look over to see Charlie, holding out her bottle to me. She smiles. I take the water and sip it gratefully. I smile back. '_Thank you_', I mouth. She nods.

"_Nora_!" A distant voice calls. "_Nora Clayton_!" The calls continue.

"Why are they saying my name?" She glances around frantically.

"_Nora Clayton!_" The soldier shouts. "_We have Mia_!" I gasp in horror, turning to look at Nora's shocked face.

"Mia?" Charlie asks quickly. "Who's Mia?" The soldier repeats his announcement.

"Nora, just hold on," Miles tries to stop her. "Hold on, wait-" She takes off running in the direction we were moving away from; towards Strausser. "Nora, wait! It's a trap!" The soldier's voice calls over and over again. 'We have Mia! We have Mia!' Miles exhales sharply as we run behind Nora, "Why won't she listen? This is a trap!"

"Would you stop?" I snap back to him. "If it were me?" He doesn't answer. "Exactly."

We get to a corner of a building where we can safely look at the dilapidated town square. Mia Clayton is hanging on a platform, her mouth gagged and her arms suspended above her head. She looks like she's having difficulty breathing.

"Who is that?" Charle asks Nora.

"My sister." She finally breathes. Miles peers out again, but Nora just stands, her back flat against the wall. She's in shock.

"Nora!" Strausser calls. At the sound of his voice, I immediately clasp onto Miles' sleeve. He puts his hand on top of mine, reassuringly, but doesn't move otherwise. "I trust I have your attention." She tries to go forward, but Miles puts out an arm, restraining her. "You should know that gravity is compressing your sister's organs. Her lungs can't fight it much longer. She's suffocating. It's a horrible way to die." Nora shuffles her feet in anger, like a bull before a fight. "Fortunately," he continues, "it won't take much more than an hour. I only want three things: The necklace- you know the one I mean, Miles Matheson..." He pauses. "And Lindsay Matheson. For their crimes against the Republic." My breath moves up a speed, and I involuntarily back up, trying to melt into the wall. "You bring me what I want in time, and she lives. It's simple, really." Miles takes off the other way, and we quickly follow behind. He leads us to another alleyway.

"I don't understand." Aaron says between breaths. "They know we have the necklace. They know that Nora is with us." With _us_, he said, like Nora was the new addition. _Oh buddy, how wrong you are._

"It's your boyfriend, Nate," Miles turns to Charlie. "Whatever his name is. He saw everything, must have told Monroe."

"But how'd they find Nora's sister?" Charlie questions, ignoring the boyfriend comment yet again.

"Strausser lives for this kind of thing." Miles shake his head. He walks over to me and Aaron, a few feet away. "Give me the necklace." He holds out his hand.

"What?" Aaron asks. "No, you're not just gonna give it up to them."

"Give me the necklace!" He demands, shoving him. "Give it to me, Aaron." Aaron pushes him away, but complies. Miles puts it up against a wall about a foot away from me and beats it with the butt of his sword, repeatedly.

"Miles!" Aaron yells.

"What are you doing, Miles?" I tug on his arm. "That was Ben's! Stop! That was our _brother's_!" He pulls his arm away, not roughly. He beats the necklace a few more times, then gives up.

"What is this thing made of?" He inquires, holding it up. "Not a scratch."

"What is your problem?" Aaron snarls, taking it back.

"We cannot let Monroe have that thing!" Miles insists. "It's too dangerous!"

"We're not giving him the necklace!" Nora agrees. "Or Miles. Or Lindsay either. We're gonna get Mia. And kill as many of those bastards as possible... but I need help." Charlie is the first to agree, not realizing how dangerous it is. Or maybe she did it because she can relate to Nora. Sibling in danger, captured by the Monroe militia, parents dead. Protective older sibling stuff, she gets that. Miles gets that. He nods in agreement. I nod too, for Nora. I don't have that older sibling intuition. I never had to protect Ben. That I knew of. He always refused any help anyone ever tried to give him. Even as kids. But I should have been there, I should have tried to be there. Maybe if I was a better sister, Ben wouldn't be dead. So am I trying to make up for his death by helping save Mia? Maybe. Or maybe I'm just a good person. I don't really know.

Aaron, the last to agree, nods as well. Nora thanks us all and we go into an empty building, near the square. She pulls some materials out of her bag and begins making something.

"Um, Nora, what _is_ the plan?" I ask, looking curiously at the fuse wire Miles is unravelling.

"Dynamite." She replies, simply, handing me a bundle of sticks. She nods to where I should position it and I do so without another word. She and Charlie light a fuse and we run out into the darkened city street, going to a park across the street. We crouch down behind some bushes as the town blows up in a cloud of red, white, orange, and yellow light, killing several soldiers. While they're distracted, we go and untie Mia, Aaron keeping watch.

"You ok?" Nora asks, the second her feet are on the ground.

"Yeah, yeah." She nods quickly. We run to the woods, and stick to a faded trail. Nora checks on her sister several times, but she seems mostly unharmed.

"It's good to see you again, Mia." Miles says awkwardly. "I mean, despite the circumstances."

"Really, Miles, you gonna pretend we're pals after what you did to my sister?" Mia snips. I glance at Miles. What did he do? I mean, I know they lost touch after he left Philly, but... that's it. I thought that's all there was to it. He stops, though, and looks down at her. "So what's the plan?"

"We cross the river at Morgantown." He replies shortly.

"Are insane?" She cocks her head. "You'd be heading into Philly."

"That's the idea." Nora admits.

"We should go out West." Mia tells us, like we're all stupid. "Out of the Republic."

"We can't." Charlie speaks up. "My brother's in Philadelphia. Monroe has him."

"We want him back, we've got to get across that river." Miles concludes.

"This is what you're mixed up in?" Mia asks Nora, like it's such a terrible thing.

"Yeah." Is Nora's confirmation.

"And I can't talk you out of this?"

"No."

Mia sighs, "Ok then. If you want to get across the river, you're going the wrong way. I know a coyote. He has a ferry about ten minutes north of here, just outside Ford City. I'll get you across, but it won't be cheap."

"_Get down_!" Miles whispers suddenly. We all obey, dropping to our stomachs. Mia meets my eye as I land next to her. Her eyes spark in recognition, then go back to their former look of boredom. She nods in greeting. I nod back. Miles motions for us to crawl into a sewer tunnel. Just as I get inside, we hear footsteps, coming closer, right above us. I shrink back. Then they recede. After several more seconds, the merciful sound of horses trotting away sounds. I almost smile, as we climb out. Miles looks back at us all, his eyes resting on Charlie, then to me, then to Nora.

"It's getting dark." He states. "Let's make up camp. I'll take first watch."

"No, Miles," I stand next to him. "You always take first watch, then you end up doing it all. You can't do that. Not with Strausser on our heels. You're right. I've got you to protect me, but you're no good to me when you're passed out from sleep deprivation."

"I'm not letting you stay up alone." He argues. I'm about to defend myself, when Mia steps up unexpectedly.

"I'll stay up with her." She volunteers. Miles stares at us for a second, but reluctantly agrees. He yawns as he lays down. I sit next to Nora's sister, a few feet away from their circle of sleeping bags.

"Why'd you volunteer?" I ask, puzzled.

"Because I could tell you wanted Miles to shut up and sleep." She shrugs. "It's fine. I haven't slept much in a long time."

"Oh." I nod. "Well, thanks." She waves it off.

"I remember you, you know." I look over at her. "It was about eight years after the Blackout, I was only sixteen but already bounty hunting. Nora was twenty something. We came to pick up some assignments from General Monroe, but as always Nora had to stay for Miles. They wanted some alone time, so I was wandering around Liberty Hall."

"I remember." I smile. "Bass and I were just having some drinks when you came in. I could tell you were Nora's sister, though."

"You still call him Bass?" She muses. "That's a laugh."

"Miles does too." I admit. "Just not around Charlie."

"And Charlie is who?" She inquires. "His daughter?"

"Our niece." I correct. "She's our brother Ben's kid. Her mother was Rachel Matheson?"

"Was?" She questions, not holding back.

"Yeah, they're both dead." I say, almost dryly.

"I'm sorry." She says. After a moment's pause, she looks over at me. "I heard about you. About what Monroe did." My face pales, but in the dark, she probably doesn't notice.

"Oh?" Is my response.

"Yeah, about how he had that psychopath Strausser torture you to try and find Miles." She says thoughtfully. I wonder if she knows the other parts of it or not. "After Miles left... huh."

"What?"

"It's just that, Miles left you. So in a way, the torture was his fault." She plays with a blade of grass. "Yet here you are, taking care of him like nothing ever happened."

"It's wasn't his fault." I insist. "Miles... tried to get me to go with him when he left Philly. But I wouldn't listen. It's my fault. And he tries to tell me it's not, but the truth is, it's nobody's fault but mine."

"Why go back?" She asks, somewhat softer.

"My nephew, Danny. B... Monroe has him." I shiver as a chill washes over me. "I've got to save him. For the same reason Nora saved you... we're family."

* * *

We get started early the next morning. Around midnight I handed watch off to Aaron and Charlie, leaving Miles and Nora to do the morning shift. They woke us and we walked, eating along the way.

We climb to an upper deck of an old sewage treatment plant, with what seems like a hundred steps.

"Let's get a better look," Miles says tiredly once we're at the top. "See if Strausser's still out there." We go to the rail and look out. No visible life, besides plants.

"You think we lost them?" Charlie asks, hopefully.

"No, I don't." Miles sighs. "If he's not behind us, he's probably ahead, waiting to ambush." His brows furrow. "We just gotta get across that river." I groan, leaning against the rusty rail. Miles brushes my arm with his.

"You have a good time at girl's night?" He jokes.

"Oh, yeah," I grin. "Mia and I drank margaritas and flirted with cute bartenders."

"I knew it." He grimaced. "I knew she was a party girl."

"Oh, yeah, totally." I nod comically. He laughs.

"But really, is she pissed at me?"

"_Mia_?" I question. "Yeah. Oh, yeah. But _why_? What'd you do to Nora?"

"Nothing." He shrugs. "Mia just hated that we parted ways after I couldn't kill Bass." I nod.

"That's what I thought."

"She just likes to start trouble." He shakes his head. "Don't worry about it." I'm not sure if he's lying or not, but I don't really care. It's not my business what happened in my brother's love life anyway.

Miles moves around the plant's circular structure until he finds the others. We find Nora and Mia last, and they both look a little distraught.

"Come on." He calls to them. "We gotta go." We walk down the stairs. The river isn't very far, we can still see the edges of it when we're on the ground. We move forward, climbing over piles of junk, which Mia has to help Aaron over. Just as we get to the river's edge, we see a dead man, his throat split wide open.

"We're never getting across this river now." Miles groans.

"Strausser." Nora says decidedly. "It's gotta be." I look hopelessly across the river, at the smoking ferry, burning on the water.

"What do you think, Morgantown?" Aaron takes charge for once.

"Only play we got." Miles agrees and we turn, walking back up the hill. Miles sits down, studying a road map. Aaron fiddles with the pendant. I watch as Nora and Mia discuss something, both clearly upset. Charlie takes Nora aside and speaks to her. After a few minutes, Mia hugs Nora happily and they walk over to us. Miles stands.

"Hey," Nora says, looking somewhat apologetic. "I'm, uh, I'm going with Mia. To... to Texas. I'm sorry, I know I made a promise, but my dad is alive. And I need my family as much as you need yours." I nod my understanding. She shakes Aaron's hand and smiles. She hugs me before I can speak. "Be careful, ok, Linds? I don't want to have to come and get you from Philly, ok?" I laugh, blinking back tears.

"Ok." I agree. "You be careful too. And I hope you find your dad." She nods and goes over to Miles.

He shrugs nonchalantly. "Gonna be a lot harder to get Danny back without-" She plants her lips on his and I turn away, smiling as they kiss passionately.

"See you around." She murmurs.

"These days, I doubt it." He shakes his head. "I doubt we'll ever see each other again."

"That's what you said last time." She replies, smirking. She smiles at us all one last time before walking away. I look away. I don't want to watch my only non-family friend walk away.

* * *

We walk on to Morgantown. Already, it feels quieter and somehow... too big. Nora's presence leaving an empty space. But I try to ignore it. ' _We started without her_', I tell myself. _'We can get through it without her.' _

"Stop, stop, stop, stop!" Aaron calls suddenly, breaking the mournful silence. "The pendant... it's gone. It was in my pocket." He searches his pockets, then looks up in bewilderment at Miles. "What did you do with it?"

"What did I do with it?" He shouts back. "You're supposed to-"

"You took it didn't you?" Aaron accuses.

"You're making me wish I had!" He quips. Aaron is about to retort when gunshots rip through the air. Charlie shouts and Miles pulls us behind a car. The shooting continues, splitting my eardrums. It stops for a moment.

"Come on out, Miles!" Strausser calls. He can only be a few feet away. "And Lindsay." Miles swears under his breath. "You've got nowhere to go." Miles takes a deep breath.

"Hold your fire!" He shouts, raising his hands in surrender. "Hold your fire, I'm coming out!"

"Miles,_ no_!" I whisper, grabbing his jacket. "Do not go out there, Miles, _please_. Not to Strausser."

"Linds, I have to." He shakes his head. "Stay here."

"What are you doing?" I ask desperately. _He wants both of us!_

"Bargaining." He answers. "Don't make this another Jeremy." He tells me. "_Stay here._" He drops his bag on the ground and walks out. He goes over to Strausser, just ten feet away. He drops his swords. They exhange some dialogue before a soldier steps forward and begins handcuffing him. Before the task is done, however, bullets rip through the air again and the soldier drops. Strausser runs, getting that much closer to me. I make a small, almost whimpering sound, and scramble away. I can't resist looking through the car window, though, when Charlie gasps. Nora is back, holding a militia gun. Miles takes it and points it at Strausser as she runs to us. Miles makes a face that can mean only one thing: the gun is empty. Strausser rushes forward, swinging his sword. Miles deflects it with his gun.

Strausser appears to be getting the upper hand, so I do the one thing I can possibly do right now. I step out into Strausser's line of view.

"Hey." I call. That gets his attention. He looks up, and grins upon seeing me. I pull out my sword, but I don't have to do anything with it. I gave Miles what he needed: a distraction. He knees Strausser in the gut and runs, with myself on his heels. We pass Charlie, Nora, and Aaron.

"Come on!" He yells, without stopping. We run through a rocky sort of ledge, but stop abruptly. Below us is a rushing river. Behind us are shouting soldiers. "We gotta jump." Miles states, strapping his backpack tighter. I hear Strausser shout orders maybe fifty feet off and I need no more motivation. I jump.

The water is so shockingly cold, I feel like I'm already numb. But that doesn't stop the pain as my body is whipped this way and that by the rushing current. I'm slammed over and over again into white, foamy waves. There's a splash behind me, and I turn my head to see a glimpse of Nora's tanned skin and Aaron's large figure. I look up, Miles and Charlie jump too. The water slams me against the side of a rock. I didn't get cut, but I'm slightly dazed. The waves crash over my head again, but I don't come up at first. Each time I go under, it gets harder to come up.

"_Miles_!" I scream as I come up finally. There's nothing, just water rushing past my ears. I come up again.

"_Lindsay_!" Miles' voice calls to me. I can't see him, my vision is spotted. But I feel a cold, wet hand wrap around mine, and then more hands on my arms, pulling me out. I hit the shore, gasping for breath. Miles is there immediately, covering me with a dry jacket from his pack. "Are you ok?" I nod, but it's not enough for him. "Tell me you're ok!"

"I'm ok!" I gasp, "I'm fine. I'm alright. I'm just out of practice if swimming." He persists.

"Fingers, Linds," He waves his hand in my face. "How many fingers?"

"Four," I pant, pushing his hand away.

"And that..." He takes a deep breath. "Is what you get for being _'too busy with work and school'_ to go on the family trip to the beach in '09." I laugh shakily, pulling his jacket tigther. "You good to go?" I glance up at the ledge, far away now and nod.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

Mia sold us out. To Strausser. I mean, I get it, she_ had_ to in order to protect herself and Nora. But still, it hurts a tiny bit. We were _just_ talking about the militia. And she was giving Strausser the directions to find me the whole time.

But we got away. We're safe. The same can't be said for the necklace. Apparently, Mia stole it out of Aaron's pocket. Strausser has it. Bass will have it soon. Bass has power. Not good.

I walk over to Aaron, who's beating himself up over it. He stands, staring off into the distance.

"Hey," I say quietly. He looks over at me quickly, then away.

"Hey," He says back. "I'm, uh, I'm sorry about... about Ben's necklace. I know it meant a lot to you to have something of your brother's."

"Nah," I wave it off to reassure him. "It's ok. We were all fooled by Mia, you know?"

"Yeah, but," He sighs. Miles comes over to face him. "Look, I already know. You don't have to tell me."

"What do you think will happen," Miles starts anyway, "if Monroe figures out that necklace?"

"I don't know." He admits, then adds, "He'll turn the lights back on and buy the world a Coke?"

"Not funny, Aaron." Miles reprimands. "He doesn't care about lights. All he cares about is weapons. So while the rest of us are running around with swords... and muskets... he'll have jets and drones." He looks him in the eye. "People are gonna die by the boatload. All because you couldn't tell if a girl had het hand im your pants."

"_Hey_!" I chastise, calling for him to stop.

"I said I get it!" Aaron says firmly and slowly. "Now get the hell out of my face." Miles glares at him and pulls me away gently.

"You know we're going to be in Philly within a few days right?" He murmurs.

"Yes." I answer calmly.

"Possibly by nightfall tomorrow?"

"I'm aware, Miles." I reply.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes. Are you?"

"You're not freaking out?" He elaborates. "Or going to?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I shrug. "I could disassociate into a child again. I could hold a gun and fire it into Bass' skull without a second thought. I don't know."

"Linds, if you get the chance to kill him-"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." I cut him off. "Where are we going from here is what we need to focus on now."

"Westchester." Nora answers, walking over to us. "There's a rebel base there. Don't give me that look, Miles. We could use their help and, besides, I need to check in."

"Ok." I reply, before Miles can protest. "If they can help us get into Philly, then let's do it."

"Alright." Miles tosses his hands up. "Let's get going."


	20. Hallucinations

**Author's Note: Wow, 20 chapters!? Crazy. I'm kind of proud of myself here! Anyway, keep reviewing and reading! Love you guys!**

* * *

**West Chester Rebel Camp**

We made it here, following Nora's directions. She showed them her rebel flag tattoo, and told them which unit she was from. Miles tried to use our fake names, but these guys are twenty miles outside Philly... they know what we look like.

So now, I'm being tied to a chair in a metal room, Miles having been dragged in a seperate direction.

"Why are you doing this?" I demand. "You know who I am, you know I ran away from Philly! If anything, you should be asking me how I did it!" The muscular rebel doesn't hit me, but he does eye me distrustfully.

"We're doing this because a rebel of ours got shot a month ago for having a gun." He sighs. "And that's because of the Baltimore Act."

"Oh, my _God_!" I groan. "Again with the Baltimore Act? Do you know how _sick_ I am of rebels telling me about that?"

"You authorized it." He accuses. "It was issued with the words: signed by General Matheson and President Monroe, with special _authorization_ of Lindsay Matheson."

"Look," I roll my eyes. "I was attacked, by a rebel! Ok? Post traumatic shock put me in the mood to eliminate guns. And I never agreed with all of Monroe's actions. I tried to stop a few of them."

"Why should I believe you?" He questions.

"Because I'm not lying." I reply simply. "Roll up my sleeve, I've got scars to prove it." He does so, finding a long scar from my wrist to elbow.

"What the hell?"

"Ugly right?" I sneer. "That's what I got for attempting to stop the Flag Act." I jerk my head towards the back wall to indicate the large American flag. "Sorry I didn't succeed."

"You don't seem scared." He changes the subject, probably because he gained more respect for me. And why shouldn't he? I was hurt, trying to protect the right to wave an American flag.

"I've faced worse," I raise up my arm as much as the handcuffs allow. His eyes rest on the scar for a couple more seconds. "So, are you going to beat me now, or what?"

"No." He sighs, unchaining me. "I'm Colonel Briggs, by the way."

"Oh, cool." I nod, "I'm Lindsay." He laughs a little, "So, my friends? Can I see them?"

"Sure." He opens the door, and walks next to me down the long hall.

"You know, that rebel that attacked me," I say, softer now. "he kind of made me wary of you guys."

"Understandable." Briggs replies.

"But I'm not like Monroe." I continue, "I don't think you're all a bunch of morons."

"Well, I appreciate that, " He says, a hint of a smile in his voice.

"I respect you guys, too." I add. He doesn't answer. I don't really know why I said it. Just to get it out, I guess. I just want _someone_, someone who doesn't know me, to know that I support the rebels.

We get to the end of a hall, where Nora, Charlie, and Aaron are waiting by another door. Nora is arguing with a rebel.

"Where's Miles?" I ask Charlie. She nods to the door beside her.

"In there, getting the daylights pounded out of him." She answers solemnly. "What about you? They hurt you?"

"Nah," I reply, my eyes flicking to Briggs and back. "It was just precautionary. You know, in case I'm really on a secret mission for Monroe."

"Why would you be-"

"Psychological torture can do crazy things to people, Charlie." I reply, looking away. "You saw how I acted about Strausser. I... went crazy. Crazy people are unpredictable."

"But the good crazy, right?" She smiles, in an attempt to make me smile.

"Not all the time." I reply dryly. The door opens, and two rebels walk out. They're followed by Miles, who's bruised and cut.

"You look terrible," Charlie notes.

"It's part of the charm." He waves it off, winking. "We're in. We go tomorrow." He walks down the hallway with nothing more to say.

After it grows dark, the rebels apparently go outside to cook dinner. There's not many in this unit, maybe a couple dozen. Which makes sense. They're so close to Bass' headquarters, they're probably getting wiped out all the time.

Miles goes and sits near Charlie, a bottle in hand. I sigh audibly. Limited guns, but somehow, plenty of whiskey, that's what seems to be going on here.

A plate is suddenly in my peripheral vision, and I look up. Colonel Briggs is holding out some deer meat to me. I take it.

"Thank you." I smile.

"No problem." He sits on the ground next to me.

"You know, you don't have to be nice to me because of what I told you." I assure him.

"I know." He nods. "But I figure you could use someone to talk to. What with your brother getting wasted about now."

"Yeah," I sigh. "I wish he wouldn't. But... it's... how he copes."

"You take care of him." He notes.

"He's my brother," I reply, shrugging. "And he took care of me, once, too. Still does."

"How?" He frowns, looking at Miles.

"When I left Philly," I begin, trying to control my annoyance. I still don't like talking about this. "I was pretty messed up. I'd wake up at two, _three_ in the morning, _screaming_. Miles told me I used to cry out in my sleep. I was unable to do anything, some days, I just sat there, staring into oblivion. He'd cook for me, make me eat, tell me stories of memories I'd forgotten. Bring me out of it."

"It's hard to imagine the General of the Militia cooking." He says, laughing.

"_Ex_-General." I correct harshly. "Anyway, I feel like I owe him."

"You're a good sister."

"Thanks." I reply. "You're a good colonel, Briggs."

"My name's Paul." He confides. "Just call me that, if you want."

"Ok." I agree softly. I look over at him. He's muscular, but not overly so. He has lightly tanned skin and dark brown, curly hair. He's probably around my age. "Why are you fighting, Paul?"

"My son." He replies, smiles gone. "He was conscripted when he was only fourteen. I tried to get him back, but after a few months, I saw him. He was on a routine tax collection. I waved and shouted his name, but he didn't answer. I grabbed on his arm and he tried to kill me. He was dead from a campaign two weeks later."

"I'm... so sorry." I reply, looking away.

"Yeah, thanks." He replies, then holds out his hand. "I'll show you to a room, if you're done." I take his hand and pull myself up. We walk in silence, until we reach a small room, lined with cots. "It's not totally private." He says apologetically.

"I haven't slept in a bed in months." I say in response. He smiles, revealing startingly white teeth. "Thank you, again. For everything."

"Of course." He shrugs. "You should get some sleep, you have busy day tomorrow."

"I will," I agree. "I have to get Miles first." He sighs, and steps aside. I hurry back out to the yard and find my brother, sitting where he was when I'd left, but Charlie is gone. The bottle is nearly drained, hanging from his fingers. "Miles?"

"Oh, hey, Linds." He says, not looking up.

"Miles, give me the bottle." I command softly. He makes no move to comply and I crouch down, slipping it from his fingers. "You have to stop and go to sleep."

"I'm fine, Linds." He insists, reaching for the bottle. I set it far away.

"I'm cutting you off." I say firmly. I stand, pulling him with me by his arm. "Come on, you're going to bed."

"You were a great bartender," He mumbles.

"And _you're_ a sloppy drunk, now come on." He snickers, then grows serious as I drag him into the building. Good God, he's really drunk. "I shouldn't have dumped that on her."

"Who?" I ask, out of breath, because his weight is crushing me. "What are you talking about?"

"Charlie," He sighs. "I was talking about how I'm worried about what's going on tomorrow and... I don't know. Suddenly, I wasn't talking to Charlie. I was talking to Rachel... I dumped way too much of my emotional crap on her."

"It's fine, Miles." I assure him. "It's ok to let out emotion."

"She trusts me way too much." He sighs, as I open the door to another room full of cots. I lay him down on one. "I'm gonna let her down."

"No, you won't."

"I _will,_ Linds!" He sits up.

"Whatever, Miles, just go to sleep, ok?" He nods slowly, laying back down. I start to walk out and pass Paul.

"Is your brother ok?" He asks.

"Yeah." I sigh. "Paul, please, just make sure he doesn't leave this room. Not until morning."

"Ok," He agrees, without any questions. I nod and hurry back down the now cold hallway, back to my room. I find the cot that someone put my bag under and I lay down, kicking off my boots. I roll onto my side and see Charlie, somehow sleeping soundly on the cot beside mine. I curse myself in my head. I'm leading this _innocent_, young girl into the place I escaped from... what the hell is wrong with me?

"Lead the way, General." Sergeant Wheatly tells Miles sardonically. Miles doesn't answer, but obeys the command, leading us into a tunnel, torches lit. We're in a small group. Wheatley, Miles, Aaron, Charlie, and I, and three other rebels. One of whom is a young girl, only nineteen or twenty.

"Just watch your step." Nora cautions us warily. "Militia's got these tunnels rigged with traps." I look down as I walk now, my eyes searching for traps. I'm distracted quickly though, captured by the way my shadow dances because of the flickering torches. There's a loud click ahead of me.

"Everybody freeze!" Nora calls suddenly. I stiffen but don't move. "Stop where you are!" She kneels down and searches in the dirt. "It's a mine." She shouts back to us. What, like the exploding kind? Don't those require electricity or something?

Nora immediately takes out some sort of can and sprays the ground. Patches of the dirt, where the bombs are, light up with a red colour.

"You said you knew where all the traps were." Wheatley says to Miles.

"Militia must have put these in after I left." He replies. "What about it, Linds?" He looks over his shoulder to me. "Monroe ever say anything about these?" I shake my head quickly.

"It's all clear ahead of this batch." Nora confirms. "Now get out of here before you blow yourselves up." We start moving again, our eyes on the red patches. Wheatley and his men go past us as we wait beside Charlie and Nora.

"You guys too." Charlie insists, nodding forward.

"I'm not going anywhere." Miles replies, bewildered that she would even suggest that.

"Me neither," Aaron adds. I just shake my head in agreeance with him.

"Come on, you guys gotta go-"

"Stop talking." Nora commands. She hands the torch to Miles. "If you're stupid enough to stay here, hold this." Miles provides the light as they crouch down. Nora pulls out a Swiss Army Knife and begins disabling the mine. Charlie breathes heavily, but stays still. It takes Nora about one minute, the whole time filled with tension. She shoves the knife in place. "I think I got it."

"Yeah, you sure?" Charlie asks nervously.

"No." She admits. "Sometimes there's another mine underneath. A trap under the trap... So you're gonna step off, and if we don't get blown to bits, we're gonna run like hell, ok?" We nod and Miles stands. "Good luck, everyone."

She tells Charlie to step off and she does, immediately breaking into a run. We're right on her heels. There's a loud rattling and then the tunnel ignites. I hear it, and even though not back is to the explosion, I see the edges of the fire. Miles pushes me down and then lunges, pulling Charlie down with him. My body hits the ground with a loud thud. We wait for several seconds, and then slowly raise up.

The tunnel is completely blocked off on the one side. Miles slows his pace to walk next to me, both of us breathing heavily.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

"Yeah." I breathe. "I'm o... I'm ok."

"Good."He swallows, moving on. I quicken my pace as we catch up with the rebels. I feel all jittery and focus on my shadow again, looking up every now and then.

We walk on for another thirty minutes or so, all of us feeling weary of more traps, when Miles breaks off into a run, following something.

"Miles?" Nora calls after him. We quickly follow.

"What is it?" Charlie asks. He leads us to an old cabinet, presumably with electrical stuff, and unsheaths his sword. He opens it, and steps back, startled to find nothing there.

"He went in there." He babbles. "I saw... I saw him."

"Who?" Charlie asks, also finding nothing.

"A militia scout." He replies, "He went right in there."

"There's no one in there, Miles" Nora echoes our thoughts.

"Well, he couldn't have just vanished into thin air!" Miles says exasperatedly.

"You sure you're ok?" She looks closer at him.

"I'm fine." He replies, slamming the door and walking away. We follow, Nora and I exchanging looks. We round a corner and find a mostly flooded room, the water up to our waists. Great, more water. "Well, this is the only safe way through." Miles announces. I grimace, but wade gently into the flood, my pack over my head.

I step back as someone pulls me. I jerk my head back. The only person behind me is Aaron, one leg into the water.

"What?" I ask, irritation in my voice.

"I didn't say anything." He answers innocently. I look at him doubtfully.

"You pulled me back." I accuse.

"Are you ok?" He looks at me sideways. I search his face and find he's not tricking me.

"Yeah," I say slowly, shaking my head. "Yeah, I'm fine. I must have tripped. Sorry." I turn forward and trudge behind Miles through the murky water. I never really liked swimming. It was fun for a few seconds, but when you got out, your hair would be all wet and cling to your bag and it felt gross. I was always more of a winter person. So this, this disgusting pool of _filth_, is not exactly my style. But I try to ignore it.

The silence is pierced by a scream. Nora is chest-high in water, thrashing about. We hurry over to her.

"It bit my leg!" She shrieks.

"What bit your leg?" Miles asks, looking into the water.

"The alligator!" She shouts, still thrashing.

"Alligator? There's no alligator!" Miles tells her. "Nora, look at your leg. See, it's fine!" She looks down.

"It didn't happen?" She whispers. "It didn't happen."

"Oh my God, this makes sense," Aaron breathes behind me.

"How the hell does this make sense?" Miles demands.

"You saw an alligator that wasn't there," Aaron begins, looking at Nora, then turns to Miles, "You saw a scout that wasn't there. And Lindsay, you said someone pulled you back. You were hallucinating."

"Why are we hallucinating?" Miles and I say simultaneously.

"It's because we're running out of air," Aaron replies shakily. "The torches are all burning low because they're not getting enough oxygen. When the tunnel collapsed, it sealed the air supply off."

"So we're suffocating?" Charlie paraphrases.

Aaron nods, "And I'm pretty sure, if we're suffocating, then hallucinations are the last things that are gonna happen before we die!" I look at him, unsure of what to do or say.

"How far to this exit of yours, Matheson?" Wheatley barks.

"Uh... Girard Station." Miles replies, "It's... it's ten minutes away. Let's go." Whether the air is running out quicker now or we're just conscious of it now, we begin breathing heavier, running out of breath whenever we talk. So we don't talk.

After 'ten minutes' that seem like hours, we find the steps to the station entrance.

"Damn it," Miles pants. "They sealed off the exit." I stand next to him to see for myself. I look at Miles' hopeless face, confused, then look to the green door. On the door are the words '_Girard Station_'.

"It's right here, Miles," I look up at it pointedly. "It's open, a little bit."

"What are you talking about, Linds?" He questions. "It's not-"

"Miles, come on, stop messing around." I command, walking up the steps. I open the door all the way, sunlight streaming in.

It's about noon, in Philly. I walk off the threshold and look both ways, stepping onto the cobblestone street. I'm only two steps from my brother when a hand reaches around, covering my mouth, and dragging me away. I scream pointlessly. The hand belongs to a soldier I don't recognize. He grabs my wrists to prevent me from getting my sword. He slams me against the wall.

"Get off!" I scream. "Miles! Let me _go_! _Miles_!" Miles jerks my arm, pulling me away from the soldier. The second my hand is free, I pull out my sword.

"Lindsay, stop!" Miles demands. "You're hallucinating, _stop_! _Look, Linds_!" He points to the door. The door that isn't a door, but a brick wall. I look around. No soldier, no Philly. Just the dimly lit tunnel with suffocating people.

"We're not..." I fumble for words. "I'm..."

"You were hallucinating." He repeats gently. "That's all. Ok?" I nod, putting my sword away. "Alright, let's keep going."

"There's gotta be another exit." Wheatley reasons.

"There isn't." Miles barks back.

"Well, we gotta try." Charlie argues. Miles sighs, nodding. "Come on." Miles tugs on my hand gently, pulling me forward. I walk, but my eyes are on the torch Miles holds. It's barely lit now. The air is getting less abundant.

Hallucinating? I hallucinated. I've never hallucinated before. Unless you count those times when I was half dreaming after just waking up, because of a nightmare. But that doesn't count, this was different. Somehow.

I walk on, trying not to think about the faces that are coming up in my mind, threatening to turn into a hallucination. There's too many of them, too many voices. And I'm scared... terrified, honestly, that maybe it's not because I'm suffocating. Maybe this is something else. I hear Bass' voice over and over again. '_You're mine, Lindsay. You're not going anywhere_.' He said it so many times. I believed it. I _lived_ it. Lived knowing I was no more than a possession.

Rachel's voice is next: '_Don't stop, Linds, don't stop fighting him_.' She said that the last time I ever saw her alive. And I didn't. I didn't stop fighting. But without her, I probably would have.

There are others: Miles, Strausser, Jeremy, Neville, my mother, Ben, Danny's two year old sentences, even Maggie makes an appearance. They're all rattling around in my head.

"I _am_ tired, Bass." Miles mumbles under his breath.

"Miles?" I ask. He's hallucinating too.

"No, you're wrong." He continues, oblivious to me. I stare at him, unsure what to do.

"Miles." Charlie walks past me, shaking his arm. "Were you seeing things?"

"What? No." He quickly defends. "I just fell behind."

"You were talking to Monroe." She accuses. "I heard you."

"Ok, cut me some slack," He pleads. "Yeah, I'm seeing things. I'm also choking to death."

"You can't do this." She says firmly.

"Do what?"

"Fall apart." She stops him. "We won't make it without you, we'll die down here. And we'll never make it to Danny. Look, I'm sorry." She keeps eye contact with him, "I know you didn't ask for this. But I'm counting in you, we all are. So pull it together. Let's go." She resumes walking. Miles looks at me, as if to say '_who the hell is she?_', but quickens his pace to walk next to me anyway.

I didn't think it was possible, but the air is running out more. How are we not dead yet? I can't breathe! I try to take breaths but there is no relief to my lungs.

"Look," The voice of Wheatley breaks through my foggy thoughts. He points out his torch, burning high again. "There must be fresh air near here." Hope restored, I nearly run around a corner, to face a door, with bullet holes covering it.

"I thought all the doors were sealed off down here." Miles comments. Wheatley shrugs and hands his torch to one of the rebels. He begins throwing his weight against the door. No luck.

"Here let me try." Miles says, he goes up and does the same. His lungs still weak, he stops after ten seconds. "Linds," he waves me over, out of breath. "water... please." I quickly comply, handing him a nearly empty water bottle. He drains it gratefully and then hands it to me. He rams the door again. Finally, mercifully, it breaks open in a storm of dust and dirt. And air, fresh air. I breathe it in, reviving myself.

"We're getting out of here." One rebel jubilates, grinning. I smile back, laughing a little.

"Some of us are." Wheatley agrees. Then a shot sounds by my ear and the rebel is dead. Before I can turn my head, someone's arm is around my neck. _Wheatley_? I try to pry off his grip, but he only tightens it. He turns his body, with me turning too, and points his gun at Miles, already through the door.

He throws me forward, into Miles' arms. Locating a large metal cyllinder, he moves it against the door. Mile pushes me behind him and goes forward.

"Uh-uh." Wheatley shakes his head, pointing the gun again. "Monroe's gonna want you alive." I can hear someone trying to open the door.

"You're militia." Miles realizes.

"That's right, General." He smiles. "And I'm taking you home. Up, please, and keep your hands where I can see them." he commands. We turn, and begin walking up the stairs. "You don't remember me, do you? I was so afraid you were going to make me. Two years of deep cover down the drain." He lets that sink in, then elaborates, "The Trenton Campaign? You pinned a medal on me. I was proud. I was _damn_ proud. General Miles Matheson shook my hand." He laughs. "Lindsay Matheson was there too. Looking very pretty in a blue dress with a little Monroe insignia pinned to it." I say nothing, keeping my eyes forward. My eyes are burning with tears threatening to once again spill out. I'm counting each step. _From where we are now... ten minutes to Liberty Hall, maybe. Nine and a half minutes to Bass. Nine and fifteen... _

"You knew this exit was here the whole time?" Miles asks.

"Yeah, I also knew the Girard station was sealed." Wheatley replies. "I know these tunnels pretty well, better than you, obviously. It's how I report back to command." _Eight minutes to Bass_... I start to slowly reach for my sword. Miles is more dangerous, he knows that. He'll be more focused on him. "Nope." He cocks the gun. "Touch it and I shoot."

"I don't care." I answer. Miles fixes me with a warning look. He hates it when I get all 'I'm ready to die.'

"No, I meant I'll shoot him." He emphasizes by poking Miles' back with the gun.

"So, you just killed people you've lived with for two years." I accuse, making a small attempt at guilt.

"Well, what can I say? I'm very loyal to Monroe." He chuckles. "And once I saw your pretty face, I knew Monroe would want you more than anything. So, yeah, I figured it was worth blowing my cover for. I wasn't sure I could pull it off, but like I said, Miles," He smiles, "I'm a gambler. I always play the odds." All right, up this way, keep moving." He pushes me forward, and Miles after me. I nearly trip on the steps. _Six and a half minutes_.

There's a loud, echoing clang on the stairs below. Wheatley goes to check it out and then there's a shot. He comes back to us. I'm about to demand who got shot when Charlie is there, pointing her crossbow at him. She fires and the militia man falls backward. Just as he drops, however, he fires his gun a last time, hitting Charlie.

She is propelled backwards, and her head hitting the steps with a sickening crack. We run over to her.

"_Charlie_!" I shout at the same time as my brother. We meet Aaron and Nora and crouch down next to my niece's limp body. "Charlie, Charlie, Charlie..."

"Charlie, open your eyes." He commands. "Just open your eyes!"

"Charlie," I whisper, crouching down. "Please, _please_ wake up. We can't get Danny back without you, sweetie. Please."

"I don't understand," Miles says, frustrated. "The bullet just grazed her."

"She hit her head when she fell." Nora explains. "Between that and the oxygen loss..."

"Charlie, I'm going to get Danny back. I promise." He says forcefully. "You can count on me. But I need you... to open your eyes. Damn it, Charlie, just _open your eyes_!" Her laboured breathing slows. No, no, no... Don't stop breathing. Please don't.

Slowly, gently, her eyes flutter open. I breathe in relief. She blinks, moving her head around. She takes a deep breath.

"Hey, kid." Miles smiles, actual tears in his eyes. "You ok?" She nods and he lets out the breath he's been holding in.

I sit next to Charlie, gently dabbling her head with a cloth.

"I'm not hurting you am I?" I ask softly.

"No." She shakes her head. "You're fine." I smile and continue mopping blood. I smile every time she speaks. Because she can. She's alive. Miles comes over to us.

"How's your head?" He asks.

"Well, I think if he aimed half an inch to the right, it'd be pretty bad." She jokes. He stares at her. "I'm fine."

"I think we should stay the night here." He suggests. "Get you back on your feet."

"You've made me sit three hours already." She protests. "I've spent enough time down here, believe me." Miles is quiet, thinking. "You saved me." She adds. "Both of you."

"Not really," He argues, "You got shot."

"I heard you guys, calling me." She smiles. "I was... I was somewhere else. And it was_ really_ hard to leave. And if it wasn't for you, I probably would've stayed. So... thank you."

"Well," He sighs. "Don't thank me yet." He helps her to her feet and I stand behind her, ready to catch her.

We join Aaron and Nora and begin walking up the steps towards another door. Nora looks behind her.

"You have any idea what's on the other side of that door?"

"Yeah," I reply. "Monroe."

"Probably walking straight into a militia ambush." Miles adds.

"Well, that'll be par for the course, at least," Aaron quips.

"You ready for this?" Miles asks Charlie.

"Are _you_?" She counters.

"No," He shakes his head. "But what the hell, huh?" She smiles and he opens the door. No ambush. No Bass, waiting with a gun pointed at us. Just the wide, cobblestone streets of Philadelphia.

The streets that I went on walks with Bass down. The shops where I bought my dresses. The homes where I visited friendly wives of soldiers. Philadelphia, that I once called home. And now I call it hell.

_Five minutes..._

**So, what'd you think? You know what happens next chapter don't you?Really, think about it! Well, I won't spoil it for you if you don't have a clue what I'm talking about haha. **

**S/O to philus, Tilly, virgobeauty30, and all those who reviewed, followed, favourited, and read! Keep on reviewing! Thanks!**

**And now, a request: I'm having trouble deciding what flashbacks to do for the next chapter. I'm thinking some of Miles and Linda in Chicago. Or maybe more childhood flashes? I don't know! Suggestions are welcome/ needed. Thank you. ****  
**


	21. Hell Is Coming, Hell Is Here

**Author's Note: I have been waiting write this for a LONG time! Exciting chapter! And yes, the chapter title is a reference to a Bright Eyes song. BIG, BIG S/O to Tessia and everyone reading this right now! **

Nora and I walk next to Charlie, supporting her body. Miles walks quickly ahead, almost disappearing into the darkness.

"Miles," I call soflty. "Slow down." He huffs in annoyance but stops, waiting for us. He pushes back Charlie's hair.

"You're bleeding again." He notes. "We've gotta get off the streets. Go somewhere safe." I look over my shoulder, scouting for soldiers.

"Miles, we're in Philly." Nora replies. "There's nowhere safe."

"I might know a place." He says quietly.

"Who?" I ask incredulously. "Who in Philly will help us?"

"Kip." He replies, looking toward his house. I breathe in relief. From what Miles told me, he couldn't have gotten out of Philly alive without Major Kipling.

We make our way towards the edge of the city and I start to help Charlie up the steps. I raise my hand to knock.

"Wait, wait, wait." Miles stops me. "He almost got killed because of me, he won't answer for Miles Matheson."

"So what do we do?" I ask desperately.

"Nora." Miles says in response. "You're a hooker."

"Excuse me?" She whispers.

"You're gonna knock on the door and pretend to be a prostitute." He elaborates. "He knows Lindsay, Charlie is bleeding, you're the only choice." She groans and unbuttons the top two buttons on her shirt. Nora knocks on Kip's door.

"I got a gift for Major Kipling." She calls.

"Just leave it by the door." He says through the door.

"But it's me," She calls seductively. "I'm the gift." He opens the door at that and smiles. "Captain Baker sent me. You got me for the whole night, sweetie." His smile evaporates when Miles jumps on him, sword in hand. Before Kipling can ask what's going on, Aaron and I help Charlie in.

He glances at her, then exclaims, "Oh, _hell_, no!"

* * *

_"Ms. Matheson?" I look up from Bass' desk. _

_"Yes, Colonel Faber?" I put the pen down. _

_"General Matheson and President Monroe have sent sent a letter," He holds it up. "Concerning the shortage of bullets." He lays it on the desk. Since Bass and Miles have been away fighting, I've been handling the political and official stuff. _

_"Yes, they're running out pretty quickly." I reply, scanning the letter, "That's a lot of swords..." I comment. _

_"Apparently, it's urgent, ma'am." Faber informs me. I sigh. _

_"All right." I pull out a clean piece of paper and write out the order form for Philadelphia's chief blacksmith. I sign it and stamp it with the insignia. I seal the letter and hand it to Faber. "Thank you, Colonel." I dismiss him. As soon as the door closes, I pour myself a glass of scotch and read the letter thoroughly. The last line makes me laugh. _

_"...Bass says we're going to be like pirates if we start using swords. That's ok... I like rum. Anyway, thanks for taking care of all the stuff at home. You're probably doing a hell of a lot better job than Bass and I do. See you when we see you. _

_ Love,_

_Miles"_

* * *

"No, you can't be here!" Kip insists, as we lay Charlie on the couch.

"Kip..." Miles pleads, moving his sword away. "You're just about the only friend I got left in Philly. I need your help." Kip glances at Charlie then at me.

"Miss Matheson." He nods.

"You can just call me Lindsay, Major." I murmur, a small smile on my face.

"Miss Lindsay," He agrees, adding the formality. "Hard to believe you came back here. I wouldn't... if I were you."

"Well, I had to." I reply, turning to Charlie, to gently clean her wound.

"Why in the hell did you come back?" He asks Miles.

"Hard to explain." He pours a drink. "Things are different now."

"How?"

"I don't know." He looks at Charlie. "Things are just different."

"So what happens if you come face-to-face with Monroe," Kipling inquires. "Hm?"

"I'll... probably have to kill him." He admits.

"You couldn't last time." The Major argues.

"It won't be a problem this time." Miles says firmly, looking over at me. I look back at him, not sure what to say. "Trust me."

"Let's hope." Kipling shrugs.

"Ok, I gotta find out where they're keeping Danny." He stands. "You guys stay here."

"You can't go out there." Nora argues. "What if someone recognizes you?"

"They're my streets," He shrugs, "Nobody knows them better than I do. Be back in an hour."

"Hey," Charie calls. "Be careful."

"Come on," He smirks. "It's me." She smiles. Just as he opens the door, I rush to him, tears filling my eyes.

"Miles, can I..." I sniff, wiping my eye with my wrist. "Can I come with you?"

"Linds..." He starts, in a denying voice.

"I won't slow you down." I say quickly. "I just... I'd feel safer if I was with you."

"Lindsay, listen, Nora is right." He pushes me gently away from the door. "It's not safe at all. It's never safe with me. Just take care of Charlie, ok? I'll see you soon."

"What if Bass comes?" I ask, my voice trembling.

"He won't."

"Miles, he-"

"Linds, I've got to go find our nephew." He whispers. "Go sleep, alright? Kip promised he'd keep our secret, no one knows we're here." He slips out, giving Kipling a look I don't understand.

I reach out to open the door, but Kipling stops me by putting his hand over the handle. He uses his other hand to move my arm away.

"Miles said you're not allowed to leave." He murmurs. "I'm sorry." I nod, in understanding and walk back to Charlie.

"You'll be alright." She tells me. "We all will. Miles will help us."

"I know." I agree, attempting to smile. "I know he will. Go to sleep, Charlie. You guys too, Nora, Aaron." Nora gives me a pained look, but lays down. I sit in an armchair, looking for my bag. I find it and rummage inside it. "Oh, no." I breathe, not finding the object of my search.

"Looking for this?" Kip asks, holding up the MacCutchen.

"That's Miles'," I say quietly. "I don't drink, not anymore. I'm looking for my picture book." I blush, realizing how childish that sounds. "I mean... a- a book Miles gave me when I was in high school. It's not in here."

"I'll let you know if I see it." He promises. "You should sleep, too, Miss Lindsay." I nod reluctantly and lay down, visualizing the pictures in the book in my head.

The doors slam open as soldiers pour into Kipling's house. '_Seal Team Militia_' I think, before being struck by the terror that is appropriate.

"Freeze! Hands in the air!" They scream, as Kip walks in the room, followed by Neville.

"You told them we were here?" Charlie accuses.

"He didn't." Neville answers for him. "He _should've_, but he didn't." He scans the room, assessing the situation. "Miles doesn't have many friends left in town. Kip's the closest to the subway. Finding you here... ain't exactly brain surgery."

"Yeah?" She mocks. "Well, if you're so smart, where's Miles?"

"I don't suppose you'll just tell me where he is?" He asks doubtfully. She smiles, giving him his answer. I try to stop it, but as he starts to make a decision, I begin trembling. "Get them all outta here." He orders. Soldiers roughly pull me up from the ground, holding back my arms.

"Let me go!" I scream. "Get off!" What the hell is wrong with these people?! They know what happened to me! These are the people who heard my screams all day and night. My crying out in pain. These are the people who stood by, looking on in horror, as the most extreme agony was elicited from me. I know their faces. They're the faces that walked me to the rooms where I would have my innocence ripped away every night. And they're taking me back there.

I look over to see Charlie struggling as hard as me. She nearly succeeds too. But Neville grabs her chin and tilts it up. He sticks a needle into her neck and she passes out. Some soldiers carry her away.

"You _bastard_!" I shriek, breaking free and lunging at him. "If you do anything to her-" I'm cut off as Neville backhands me. I yelp as he pulls me towards him and sticks a needle into my neck, too. "Stop it! I won't go back! You can't... you can't... make... me..."

I wake up slowly and the world is foggy. Everything is blurry. I blink several times to refocus on the scene. Gradually, the room becomes clear.

The first thing I notice is that my arms are numb, a side effect of the drug, no doubt. But they're tied to a metal chair, as are my ankles. The room is some sort of makeshift office. A large desk, with the Monroe Republic flag hung behind it, is before me.

There's a small, high up window in the wall. I can't see any landscape through it. But I don't see any buildings. So I'm not in Philly... where the hell am I?

The feeling is returned to my arms and I find they're pretty sore. I guess from where they dragged me in here. My cheek hurts too, probably from Neville's strike. The rope has pushed my jeans up and is digging into my ankles painfully.

The door opens, and I try to look behind me. I can only see out of my peripherals, but it's enough. Bass is getting closer and closer to me. My heart beats faster the closer he gets. Until finally, he is behind me. I feel his hand run through my hair, pulling out the tangles painfully. He moves in front of me, silently. His look is thoughtful, sort of evaluating what to do. I stare back at him, not steadily. I look at him in fear, my eyes unwillingly showing my true emotions.

I realize how weird it is to see him, for the first time, in person, after all this time. After everything he's done. I've only seen him in nightmares, but now in person... his look is softened, but happy. He looks like the old Bass. The Bass who's shoulder I cried on when I broke up with Mark. Bur he's not that Bass. Before me is General Monroe. General Sebastian Monroe who tortured me and raped me for two years. He is the Devil. And I'm finally back in hell.

"Lindsay..." The Devil finally says, "I have missed you so much... you're home." _Home_? Home and hell are not synonyms. He goes to stroke my face. I pull away, whimpering. He doesn't pull back, just lets his hand slowly run down my face. "Linds, please, let me make it up to you. Let me make everything up to you." I stare at him, breathing heavy. "I will give you whatever you want. I will never hurt you again. I promise." _After everything you did, do you really believe I can forgive you?_ Why am I thinking this? Why am I not _screaming_ it in his face. "Lindsay, baby, please, talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?" I whisper, broken, and barely audible.

"That you forgive me." He pleads. "I want you to love me again."

"After everything..." I finally manage. "You did... how can you _possibly_..." I stop. "What about Miles?"

"What about him?" He smiles.

"He's here." I burst. Surely he knows.

"I know."

"Will you kill him?"

"I don't want to." He admits. "But he'll try to kill me."

"Because of what you did." I tell him. "To _me_. And with _everything_."

"If you and Miles would just come back-"

"Bass, I'm not going to!" I shout. "I can't! I don't trust you!"

"Tell me things weren't better!" He screams. "I know I screwed things up! But I am giving you a chance to start over! For_ us_ to start over!" I'm about to argue more, but then his words sink in. He's right. Things _were_ better. And I'll never trust him, of course, but maybe I could pretend. At least then he wouldn't torture me anymore...

But what about Miles? I can't ask him to come back. And why am I considering this? I can't go along with Bass' terrible, awful rulings! I look up at him.

"No." I shake my head.

"Why?" He demands, shouting a little.

"Because..." I look down. "I can't forgive you. Bass, I never can. You hurt me too much." He slaps me.

"I just want to give you everything!" He shouts, gripping my arms and leaning into my face. "I want to take care of you, Lindsay! That's all I've ever wanted!"

"This is why!" I shout back. "Because of what you're doing now!" He groans and moves behind me. "Stop, Bass, _stop_!" He unties my hands and cuts the rope on my ankles. I look up at him, wondering what he's doing, when he sticks his hands through the slats in the chair, rubbing his hands over my body. "Bass, _please_, don't." I start crying.

"Give me a good reason I shouldn't!" He whispers in my ear.

"Because I used to love you!" I cry.

"You've made it clear you never will again." He growls.

"I will do _anything_, anything you want," I sob, as he pulls me up by my wrists. "Just, please, _please_, stop."

"You won't." He shakes his head. "You say that, but I let you go, and you'll run from me."

"Bass-"

"Look, you don't love me. I get it, ok?" He pushes me against the closest wall. "But_ I_ still love _you_! And I need you to understand... whether you like it or not: You _are_ mine!"

"I am not a possession, Monroe!" I scream. "I'm not_ yours._" He smirks, and cuts open my shirt, throwing it to the ground.

"Really?" He traces his mark over my heart, his breath on my face, "Because I have proof that says otherwise." With skilled hands that have had way too much practice at this, he unbuttons my jeans, while taking off his belt.

"Bass..." I whisper, through broken sobs. "Please-"

"Shut up," He commands, pressing his lips against mine. He pushes me down with his body, so I'm flat on the ground, he on top of me, his hands restraining mine.

"Miles!" I scream, out of pure instinct. "Miles, help!" Bass punches me.

"Lindsay, you know this is going to happen, whether you let it or not." He shouts. "_So stop fighting me_!"

* * *

_I pick up the phone the second it rings. It's Miles. _

_"Did you find him?" I demand. "Did you find Bass?" We've all been calling and calling. Finally, Miles went out to look for him. _

_"Yes, I found him." He says and relief fills my body. _

_"Well, where was he? Where is he now? Is he ok-"_

_"Linds, listen," He interrupts me. "He was at his family's graves. He's in the bathroom,now. I don't have long. Lindsay... he was gonna kill himself." _

_"What?" I whisper. _

_"Yeah, I don't know how close he was, but he's really drunk and he had the gun in his hand, fully loaded." He sighs heavily. _

_"Is he ok, where are you guys staying?" I quickly ask. _

_"We're staying with mom and dad." He says, his voice heavy._

_"Well, sh-should I come home, does he-"_

_"No, Lindsay, don't come home, ok?" He makes a sound. "Don't take days off of school to come and see us. We're going back to South Carolina in two days." I sigh exasperatedly. _

_"Can I talk to him at least?" I plead. _

_"Yeah, he's coming back now." He mumbles something to Bass, "Here." _

_"Lindsay?" Bass' voice asks. _

_"Hey, Bass." I say, trying to keep tears out of my voice. He doesn't need to worry about me. "How are you?"_

_"I guess Miles told you what I tried to do, huh?" His words are slurred. "Guess you're pretty disappointed in me."_

_"I'm not..." I search for words. "I understand Bass. I'm just glad you're ok."_

_"Yeah, thanks to your brother." He sniffs. _

_"Yeah?" I ask, at a loss for words. "Listen, Bass, if you need to talk-"_

_"Thanks, but no thanks." He says quickly. "I'll be fine, I don't want to see you." _

_"Oh, ok." I say, taken aback and a little hurt. "Well, have a good weekend, then. Bye, Bass." _

_"Yeah, bye." He says shortly. I stare at the phone. That was so unlike him. The call doesn't end. _

_"She's just trying to help." Miles says, angrily. In his drunkenness, Bass didn't hang up. "You should let her. It'd be good to see her after everything, you know? Second tour and everything..."_

_"I don't __**want**__ to see Lindsay, Miles!" He shouts, hitting something. _

_"Bass, just __**calm down**__!" Miles yells, as Bass swears. "What the hell is wrong with you!? You've never had a problem with Lindsay! You were glued to her as a kid!"_

_"I don't want her to see me like this!" Bass finally admits. "Look at me, Miles! I start crying randomly, I get drunk all the time! She's not gonna... she won't..."_

_"You know she'll understand." Miles says gently. _

_"I don't care if she understands, Miles, I__** don't**__!" He says, his voice breaking. "I don't understand."_

_"You've always wanted to impress her, Bass." He says. I furrow my brow. I should hang up shouldn't I? "I know that."_

_"I love her, Miles." Bass sniffs. "I have... for a while." My mouth drops._

_"I know." Miles says quietly. _

_"You mad?"_

_"No." He sighs. "Just, damn it, Bass, go to sleep. We'll talk about this in the morning."_

_"Don't tell her," He begs. "Don't tell Lindsay. She... she'll never feel the same way. So I'd rather she not know." I hang up. I don't want to hear anymore. I sink onto my couch. 'She'll never feel the same way...' Bass' voice echoes in my head. 'I love her...' I stand and go to my bedroom, crawling in bed without changing. 'Maybe I feel the same way...', a small voice says. But I don't want to __**think**__ about it! Not Bass... Miles' best friend. It would __**never**__ work._

* * *

Bass stops what seems like hours later. I don't know what time it actually is. He laughs, kissing me one more time, before rolling off of me.

A knock and a voice informs him that 'she's awake'. And he stands, pulling on his trousers, then the rest of his clothes.

"Have Strausser take her to the room." He instructs. "Both of them." He leans down and picks up my now limp body, my arms dangling under me. He was so _rough_... so _forceful_. Maybe it's just because it's been so long, but I think that was the most painful it's ever been. Bass sticks a needle in my arm.

"What are you doing?" I demand, my breath short and weak.

"That's so you'll be a good girl." He touches my nose then traces the shape of my face. "_My_ girl." Well, he's proven that much. The drug has made my arms and legs feel heavy.

He sets me on his desk while he searches for something. I experiment the usefulness of my limbs by pulling up my jeans and buttoning them. It took way too long and left me way too out of breath. Bass achieved his goal, I can't escape, not anytime soon, anyway. He comes back, with more rope and ties me to one of the metal enforcements in the back. I slump to the ground, my head tilting slightly to one side.

"I've got to go..." Bass murmurs, kissing the top of my head. "I've got to go say hello to your niece. I'll be back soon." That's who he was talking about... that's who Strausser went to get. _Strausser is with Charlie!_

"Bass." I call weakly. "Please... don't hurt her." He just smiles, a laugh not escaping his lips but still there, and leaves, locking the door behind him.

I let tears fall out of my eyes. Why the hell didn't I think about this? That this could happen? I knew it going in but I guess... I don't know, maybe I got cocky. I only saw straightforward... _I'm going to get Danny, and get out._ That's what Miles_ told_ me would happen. And I believed him.

But where is he? Where is my brother? He could be dead. Or in another room, being tortured. But at least he'll fight better than me. Why didn't I fight Bass? Obviously, I fought as hard as I could while he was on top of me, but when I was in the chair... why didn't I try to fight the way Miles taught me? I just sat there... _frozen_ in fear.

Maybe Bass is right. Maybe I'm just his. And some part of me knows that, so I didn't bother fighting. I mean, sure I got away, but where am I? Back in his possession. Did he not hurt me again? It's like nothing changed. I've come to a full circle.

Should the drug not have made me sleepy? What did he give me? Something that made my limbs almost entirely useless, but doesn't make my brain foggy... I have no idea. But I am weak... whether it's because of the drug or because of what Bass just did, I have no idea.

_He_ walks back in, looking as calm as ever, Jeremy Baker on his heels. He barely glances at me, but sits and pours a drink. Jeremy's gaze lingers though. I badly want to cover up, as the top half of my body is only covered by my bra. I pull my knees up to my chin. He snickers softly, then walks up to Bass.

"Any word from Neville?" He asks Jeremy.

"Nothing," He replies, "Maybe Miles didn't take the bait."

"Maybe. Or maybe Miles killed Neville," Bass suggests, "Maybe he's on his way to kill me."

"General, what are you going to do if you see Miles?"

"What do you mean?" Bass asks nonchalantly, moving things off his desk.

"Well standing orders have always been to bring him in alive," Jeremy shrugs, "Just wondering why that is."

"Miles is Ben's Matheson's brother and Rachel Matheson's brother-in-law." Bass explains. "He probably knows something about the power."

"Well, it's just that Miles sucks at math," Jeremy argues. "so what's he gonna know about hardcore electrical engineering?" Bass exhales slowly, "Sir, may I speak freely? I think the way we go about this is you let me kill Miles. I can do this."

"No, you can't..." I call, with as much force as I can muster. "You can't kill him. He'll kill you first."

"You don't think I can?" Bass asks Jeremy, but also me. He cocks a silver gun. "You think he'll get to me first, Captain? Is that it? Miles wouldn't dare kill me." He struts over to me, motioning for Jeremy to follow. He pulls me up by my neck, my bound wrists scraping the metal. "I have his sister... his dear, _precious_ sister." I try to move away from him, whimpering, as he strokes the skin on my shoulder and back. "Miles won't kill me," he repeats, quietly. He lets go forcefully, and I stand my ground, glaring at Jeremy as he looks at me in amusement. Several gunshots ring out suddenly and I jump. Bass sends Jeremy to fight and grabs his gun. He throws a look at me, then back to the direction of the firing. He swears under his breath, and unties me, jerking me up and running me down the hall. My eyes wide, and my breath barely bringing relief to my lungs, I don't ask where we're going. I know: we're going to find Miles.

* * *

_"I'm going to kill you, Miles!" Bass shouts. I climb up the tree they always sit by. A stream runs beside it and I know if I surprise them, one of them just might topple into the water. I giggle, thinking about Miles' face if that happened to him. _

_"I'd like to see you try, Bass!" Miles calls back, laughing. Bass lunges, tackling Miles. They roll around, wrestling like they always do. Eventually, they stop and come and sit by the tree. I look straight under me. _

_Miles pulls out a marker and starts drawing on his wrist. _

_"Hey, Bass," He nudges his best friend. "You wanna see something I thought of?" He finishes, and shows Bass. _

_"Cool!" Bass exclaims. "That is so neat!" _

_"You do one, on your wrist." He replies, handing him a marker. Bass complies and the two work on their new tattoos. _

_"It's for both our names, right?" Bass asks, showing Miles his. "Matheson and Monroe." Miles smiles and nods. I roll my eyes and grab my chance. I jump down. _

_"Boo!" I shout. _

_"Hey, Lindsay." My brother says nonchalantly._

_"Aw, I was trying to scare you." I frown._

_"You're seven, Lindsay, you're not scary."_

_"You're ten." I point out. "You're not that much older than me." _

_"Hey, Linds, you want one?" Bass holds up his wrist. Drawn on it is a circular mark, with an 'M' in the middle. "You're a Matheson." _

_"Ok." I agree. Bass holds my wrist steady and draws their symbol on it. _

_"That's permanent." Miles tells me. "That mark is gonna be on you forever!" _

_"What?!" I scream. "Mommy is going to kill me!" The boys crack up. _

_"I'm joking." He rolls his eyes. "Man, you're gullible." I glare at him. _

_"You're a jerk." He shrugs. But I forgive him, of course. Minutes later, we're all playing knights. Miles insisted I play the princess locked away in a tower, but I demanded to be a knight. _

_"Girls aren't knights!" He shouts._

_"Joan of Arc was!" I argue. "She was executed for fighting as a knight, but that was when they thought women couldn't fight! If women can be in the army, I can be a knight!"_

_"Ok, you can be a knight, just shut __**up**__!" Miles rolls his eyes. I grin and pick up a stick. _

* * *

Bass hands me off to another soldier, and instructs him to '_follow at a distance_' and '_make sure she doesn't make_ any_ noise_'. The soldier clamps his hand over my mouth. He keeps going straight until Bass motions for him to keep me behind the jutted out wall. It's so cold over here. My torso is still nearly naked. The man ties my hands in front of me and pulls out some sort of cloth and ties it around my head, so I'm gagged. I hear Bass advancing forward and then-

"Go, go get your kids." Miles! _Who is he talking to?_ Bass looks at me, warning me not to say anything. I nod slowly. He emerges from his hiding place, pointing his gun.

"Hey, Bass." Miles greets.

"Miles."

"Rachel's alive." _WHAT!?_ I gasp through the gag and the soldier squeezes my arm, forcing me to silence myself. My head is whirling. Rachel can't be alive! I saw her _body_! "You've kept her prisoner for...how long?"

"If you care so much about Rachel, why'd you leave her?" Bass asks mockingly.

"She's my family, Bass." He says, ignoring the question. "How could you do that?"

"_We're_ a family." Bass insists. "I'm your family. More than Rachel. More than Ben, or Lindsay... those kids... no."

"Where's Lindsay?" Miles demands.

"It was you and me, remember?" He continues. "It was always you and me. We're brothers. You're just gonna kill me?"

"Aren't you gonna do the same?" Miles asks, suspiciously.

"No," Bass lowers his gun. "I'm not gonna hurt you Miles. Put your gun down."

"What are you doing?" Miles asks, the struggle clear in his voice.

"I'm not gonna shoot you." Bass confirms. "I want you to come back."

"You want me to what?"

"We look out for each other, that's what we _do_!" Bass says firmly. "Even when the other one screws up. And I _have_, Miles. I have screwed up." He sighs. "I forgive you, ok? I forgive you. You come back, I'll let your family live. I'll give you whatever you want. I will leave Lindsay alone, I promise."

"Where is she, Bass?" He asks again. "Where's my little sister?"

"She's ok, she's safe." He lies. "Miles, it was better, it was _simpler_ with you here... please." He tosses his gun to the ground. "Now you tried to kill ke once before and you couldn't pull the trigger. I understand that now. I couldn't pull it either, if I were you. And I don't think you're gonna pull it now." There's a grunt and then Miles says,

"I'm sorry." _No!_ What? Miles! Do not apologize to this monster!

"It's o... it's ok." Bass laughs, walking forward out of my sight.

"I meant I'm sorry I didn't kill you the first time." Miles corrects after a pause. "You're not the same person. You're too far gone... I see it now." He sighs heavily. "We are _not_ family. Not anymore. I have a family. And you hurt them. You... are _nothing_ to me." Bass laughs again, unsure of what to do or say. Then, there's the sound of a million bullets being fired per second. All I hear then are grunts and bodies banging against metal and the floor. Bass comes past the nook I'm in and grabs me, holding me in front of him. Miles rounds the corner and stops short.

"Lindsay." He breathes. "Are y... are you ok?" Feeling Bass' arm around my neck, his sword pressed against my skin, I consider answering honestly. Miles takes in the visible bruises that stand out against my exposed skin. "Linds... are you ok?" Tears streaming down my face, I shake my head no. He exhales sharply. "Let her talk, Bass, please." Bass yanks the gag off my mouth.

"_Miles!_" I whisper.

"What did he do?" He demands. "Did he... you know, hurt you again?" My lips trembling, I nod.

"Yes." I gasp, through sobs.

"You son of a _bitch_!" Miles shouts at Bass, starting to move forward.

"Uh, uh," Bass stops him, putting the sword in a more threatening position. "Stop, Miles." Miles stares at me, his eyes saying something. I look at him hopelessly. He glances at the my leg and then to Bass'. I shake my head slightly, when it dawns on me.

I swing my foot forward and then bring it back, crashing it into his left leg on the left side, so that he falls away from me, the sword with him. I grab his arm that was around my neck as he falls, and twist. He cries out in pain, but he's down on the ground. I take the sword from him.

"He has another sword, Linds!" Miles shouts. I look behind me, and see Bass getting to his feet, a second sword already in his hand. "Run!" I do so, passing Miles.

"Where do I go?" I ask, as he cuts the rope around my wrists.

"Find Rachel and the kids!"

"_Rachel_! Wha-"

"Linds, _please_!" He shouts. He throws off his coat, tossing it onto my shoulders. I give him the second sword and nod. He nods back and I run, holding the long, oversized jacket around me.

I look back to see Miles and Bass still fighting. Miles catches my eye and gives me a fierce look. I look back, wanting to help. Jeremy Baker walks into the fight with several more militia and I turn on my heel, speeding away from him.

I run outside, but just as I see the top of Nora's head, I'm pulled back by my stomach. I look behind me to see the soldier who held me before. Damn it! I forgot about him! And why did I give Miles the sword.

"Get the hell off of me!" I scream. "Let go! What is wrong with you?!" He doesn't answer me, but rather keeps a tight hold on me, dragging me back towards the plant building. "Do you not realize what you're doing? You are taking me back to the man who tortured me!" I scream. There's an explosion. I'm about to say more when a sword slices the air, half an inch from my shoulder. Straight through the man's heart. He drops, his blood hitting my face.

"Come on." Miles tells me, and grabs my arm. We run to the hole in the wall that the explosion caused.

"What..."

"Aaron did it!" Miles hisses, climbing through the hole, pulling me after him. The first thing I see is Charlie, looking overjoyed to see us. "Run, you idiot!" Miles shouts. She does and we run into an open field, slowing to rest. _Oh my God... we did it! We actually did it! We saved Danny!_ Danny... I turn around to see what my nephew looks like now. But I don't see him. I see his mother.

"_Rachel_..." I say, my voice barely forming the word. She turns to me.

"Lindsay!" Rachel breathes, going to hug me. I back up.

"You..." I point at her. "You're dead. I saw you! I saw your body! How..."

"It was Bass." She whispers, "He-" She's cut off by the sound of wings. But not like, butterfly wings. Like, two ton helicopter wings.

A helicopter with Bass' symbol plastered on the front is rising up from the air, pointing machine guns at us.

"How the hell...?" I ask.

"Bass has an amplifier." Rachel replies, sounding guilty. Miles hits my shoulder and we run. Nora behind me, Miles in front. And Charlie and Rachel helping the kid who must be Danny run. Why is he limping?

We run into a restaurant or something, and get into what used to be the freezer. I crouch down, covering myself with Miles' jacket. Miles crouches next to me.

"Are you ok?" He whispers.

"Miles, now is not the time to-"

"I need to hear that you're ok." He insists. "You said no earlier. You admitted you weren't ok. Then you said Bass... he hurt you again. Like... like he used to?"

"Yeah, Miles." I hiss, being so quiet that only Miles can hear me. "He hurt me again, ok? Why do you think I'm half naked? But I don't want to talk about it. So, just let-"

There's a whizzing sound. Then my head feels like its splits open and the world lights up as everything around us explodes. _Hell isn't over. Not yet._

**What'd you think?I actually really liked the flashback where little Miles says "the mark is gonna be on you forever" because, you know, Lindsay WILL have that same mark on her forever, because of Bass. That's called paralleling, kids! :) Anyway, review! Suggestions are welcome, always. ;)**


	22. Only the Good Die Young

**Author's Note: Ok, this chapter was REALLY hard to write. Like, extremely. I cried about three times. Anyway, enjoy! :) But first, let me clear something up: Lindsay has NO idea Miles tortured Rachel (if he did,we don't know the whole story yet). She thinks Miles was just as oblivious to Rachel's nightmarish conditions as she was. Ok, go on and read. **

Miles pushes me down and away, as far from the door as possible. He puts out an arm to keep me down until the deafening noise is over. I can smell smoke.

"Ok, they're gonna come looking for the bodies," Miles helps me up. "We need to go."

"Where?" Charlie asks, standing.

"As far from Philly as possible," He replies, opening the door. The smell is heavier here. And that's because of the flames. I cough, but march on anyway, making my way out of the building.

"He'll find us." I murmur. "If we just go on foot... there's no way..."

"I know." He says back. "We gotta get a wagon."

"But the only wagons are towards Philly." I point out.

"I know."

"Miles, I don't want to go back there," I whisper, tears sparking in my eyes. I try to bite them back, but images of Bass keep cropping up. Him on top of me. His knees, spreading my legs apart, while he laughs, and whispers my name. I struggle frantically to get away, but he's stronger. His hands run over my body. _And I'm in so much pain! He's hurting me too much!_

"Hey, hey, Lindsay, hey." Miles shakes me, trying to stop the sobbing that has become uncontrollable. He holds my face between his hands and looks into my eyes. "You're ok, you're fine. Are you hearing me?"

"Miles!" I call, as if he's not in front of me. Half of my brain knows he is, the other half is in Bass' room. "Miles, help me!"

"I'm here," He calls, pulling me closer. "I'm _here_, Linds."

"I'm scared, Miles, I'm so scared." I stutter. "He's so... so..." I can't think of the right word. "I don't want to go back."

"I'm not asking you to." He pulls away from me. "I'm going to get a wagon. You stay here. Got it?" I nod, my breath coming out in shudders. He pats me on the shoulder and leaves, without saying another word.

"Lindsay?" I hear a voice behind me and jump when I see Rachel. "Do you-"

"How the hell are you here?" I scream. "I saw your dead body!"

"No, you didn't." She sighs. "You-"

"You were so mangled!" I whisper. "You weren't breathing, your heart wasn't beating... Strausser killed you."

"Uh, actually I killed him." She says, with a small amount of pride.

"You... _what_?"

"Lindsay, this is going to make sense." She sighs, "I promise. I wasn't dead."

"But I-"

"What you saw _was_ me." She waves off my comment. "But I was drugged."

"Drugged?" I repeat, skeptically.

"Ok," She pauses, thinking. "_Romeo and Juliet_. Juliet takes a drug that makes her appear dead."

"Bass drugged you?" I whisper.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He... needed to keep you in line," She says, "That's what he told me. Said you were out of control. He thought maybe, if you saw me dead, you'd realize how serious he was. That you'd show him respect."

"He was wrong." I shake my head. "That was the night I escaped."

"I know," She grins, then winces in a way of remembering something. "He was furious."

"He hurt you, didn't he?" I murmur. She doesn't answer. "Rachel, remember the first time Bass... hurt me?" She nods. "You begged to know. Tell me."

"Yeah." She says, looking away. "He did."

"I'm so sorry." I whisper, moving away from her. "Damn it, it's my _fault_!"

"It's not... Lindsay, no!" She calls after me as I walk away, furious at myself. Rachel, who took care of me, was hurt _because_ of me! "He would've done it anyway. Lindsay!" She shouts.

"Lindsay?" I stop, looking behind me. Danny, my nephew, is staring at me with gray-blue eyes. "You're Aunt Lindsay?"

* * *

_**ONE YEAR BEFORE THE BLACKOUT **_

_I knock on Ben's door, taking off my coat. There's no answer, and I'm about to knock again, when the door opens. I look down. _

_"Hey, Aunt Lindsay!" Charlie explains. _

_"Hi, Charlie!" I reply, picking her up. "How are you?!" _

_"Not good." She frowns. "Danny's sick again." My face falls. I know that much. That's why I'm here. _

_"Where's your daddy?" I ask her quietly, setting her down._

_"In Danny's room." She grabs my hand. "I'll show you." I throw my coat on the chair as we pass it and go into my nephew's room. _

_Ben is standing next to Rachel, who's holding Danny. Ben gently strokes his wife's hair, as a tear slips from her eye. _

_"Daddy?" Charlie asks, shocked to see her parents like this. "Aunt Lindsay's here." My brother turns to me, while Rachel just looks up. Her face is so hopeless. _

_"Charlie!" My younger brother exclaims. "Why don't you help me bring Lindsay's stuff to the guest room?" _

_"Ok." She agrees quietly. The two leave the room. I walk closer to my sister-in-law. _

_"Hi, Lindsay." She murmurs. _

_"Hey." I reply. "How... how is he?"_

_"He's sick... again." She says, tears falling past her cheeks. "It's worse." _

_"What'd the doctor say?" _

_"Oh, they can do surgery." She shrugs. "But it's so experimental... he could die, Linds." I exhale softly. "Do you want to hold him?" I nod and she slips him into my arms. He's sleeping restlessly. _

_"Hey," I murmur, as he blinks, his eyes opening. He's so small for a one year old. "Hey, Dan-Dan." He yawns._

_"Aunt Lindsay!" He says tiredly, his small voice saying the words somehow wrong, in the most adorable way. He beams up at me._

_"Hey, kiddo." I reply, laughing, and sniffing tears back. He babbles for a bit and then reaches toward his toys on the floor. I set him down to play and turn to Rachel. She's gazing at me like I've just walked on water. _

_"What?" I ask._

_"That's the first time he's felt well enough to play in a week," She remarks, "Let alone smiled!" "Oh." I say, completely unsure how to respond. _

_"Lindsay, I know it's a lot to ask," She starts, looking at her child. "And I know you're on the verge of your bachelor's, but could you stay? Just until his surgery?" I look at her, thinking of my 50 page paper due in two weeks. Then Danny laughs. I look down at him, only alive one year. And I... __**I **__made him feel better. Made him forget about the pain for just a moment. _

_"Yeah," I look at Rachel, "Yeah, of course. Whatever you need."_

_"Thank you so much." She hugs me. "Oh, thank you, Lindsay. You are the best sister I could possibly ask for!" She picks up her son. "And the best aunt, too, huh, sweetie?" Danny cries out in joy and grabs my hand._

_"I'll be here, Dan-Dan, don't you worry." _

* * *

"Aunt Lindsay?" He repeats, when I don't answer, "As in my dad's brother?"

"Yes," I say slowly.

"But... my dad said you died." He limps over to me.

"Your dad thought I _was_ dead," I say simply. "Do you remember me?" I ask quizzicaly.

"I... I think so." He wrinkles his eyebrows. "You used to come around when I was little. And I saw you once, when I was around six, I think."

"That's right." I smile. "Miles-"

"What did I do?" I look to the side to see Miles himself, on a wagon.

"You did it!" I breathe in relief.

"Uh, Miles," Nora speaks up, looking in the back. "These are coffins."

The smell is terrible. Just... awful. I mean, I'm laying next to a corpse. Aaron's under it, though, so I can't imagine that.

I turn my head to the right, and see Danny looking back at me. I can only see a sliver of his face, but his eyes are easily recognisable. They are the Danny that I knew when he was a child. He looks confused. I expected that. He probably wants to know who I am. Just like Charlie did. Will I tell him? Or will Charlie just do it for me? I look away, at the sky. It's so dark already.

"Cargo?" A rough militia voice says.

"Coming from the city morgue." Nora replies, smoothly.

"Let's take a look." He says.

"Buddy, they're just corpses." She says, exasperation in her tone.

"We're on lockdown," The man says back, equally exasperated. "Checking everything coming out of Philly."

"Why? What's going on?" Charlie pipes up.

"Escaped fugitives." He replies, "We're looking for a couple of men... some women too."

"Uh-uh," Charlie says annoyed. There's a pause. She's showing them her burn mark she obtained on the conscript ship. Just like Miles planned. "Look, we're just trying to do our job."

"Me too." The soldier sneers. "Open them up." I hear footsteps, moving to the same rhythm as my heart. There's a loud thud next to me. "This one." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Charlie hop up and pry open the coffin next to mine. The smell becomes worse. I hold my breath so I don't gag.

"Smells killer, huh?" She jokes. The man grunts and then puts the sheet back over us. Then we're moving again, the creak of the gate behind us. And I guess I'm sleeping in a coffin.

* * *

_"Ok, Dan-Dan," I say to the toddler. "This is called the __Wizard of Oz__. It was my favourite when I was a kid." _

_"Lindsay," Rachel laughs, "He's __**one**__." _

_"Well, I grew up watching this," I grin. _

_"Oh, come on," Ben says, "Let's go work on math." He laughs. _

_"Yeah, he'll understand that," I roll my eyes. _

_"More than he'd understand __**that**__," Ben gestures to the tv. "Why is it in black in white and then colour?"_

_"It's called artistic filming." I sneer. "And I think Danny would-" Danny coughs. A loud, ugly cough. It gets worse. "Dan, you ok?" I ask. He can't breathe! _

_"Call 911!" Rachel shouts, taking Danny. "Ben, now!"_

* * *

I watch with a small amount of joy as Rachel hugs her son. My God, they've been separated for how many years? Since Bass demanded Rachel come... damn, how did I not know he was torturing her all that time. He made excuses, of course, '_Sorry, Linds, you can't see Rachel. She's sick_.' or '_I need your help with these contracts, can you see her tomorrow_?' But really, how stupid am I!?

Danny smiles and hugs Charlie next. I think back to what I observed the day we saved Mia. I didn't get the protective older sibling stuff. But I definitely get this: younger siblings, thanking God they have older siblings to rescue them. Danny has Charlie, I have Miles.

Nora grabs Miles' shoulder and kisses him. I see Rachel look away awkwardly. Oh yeah, they've always had that little spark. Miles points in a direction and we move out, walking in silence for a few minutes.

"So, Rachel," Aaron breaks the silence, "It turns out you're not the mild-mannered housewife I thought you were."

"We've been through a lot, Aaron," She replies, sourly, "Not now, all right?"

"I'm sorry." Aaron says defensively. "It's just that you're alive, which is, you know, newsworthy." She looks back at him. "And you knew about the necklaces, and the Blackout-"

"Aaron," She says, trying to shut him up.

"Rachel," He fires back. "Ben gave me that necklace. It... drove me nuts. It almost got us all killed, I deserve an explanation."

"He's right," Charlie says, "We all do."

"And I will explain everything, all right?" She looks at me. No, at Miles. "It's complicated." Miles looks back at her, an odd look on his face. Another heart stopping sound comes again. The same, actually, the whirring of a helicopter's wings.

"Under the trees!" Miles shouts. We run under the cover of thicker canopy. But the helicopter goes right past us.

"Where are they going?" Danny asks.

"Westchester is that way," Miles replies, confused.

"There's a rebel camp and Westchester!" Nora exclaims.

"The one we went to?" I ask, thinking of Colonel Paul Briggs, "That Wheatley infiltrated?" Nora nods. "Miles, we have to go there!" I insist.

"Are you crazy?" He shouts. "Oh, sure, let's go toward the militia! Do you want Bass to get you again?"

"Bass?" Danny asks, looking between us. "Who's Bass?" I freeze. I'm _not_ telling him. Not yet.

"Monroe." I say quickly. "Miles, we... I _know_ people there!" He sighs. "Please, Miles." He sighs again.

"C'mon." He looks forward, "Let's make this quick." I see Danny looking at me, and Charlie and Rachel looking between him and me. I walk forward, not looking behind me. I expect him to call after me, like Charlie had, demanding to know who I was, what had happened to me, and why in the world I'm calling Monroe Bass. But he doesn't. Just stays quiet, answering Charlie's nearly constant '_are you ok?'_s.

We run into the clearing where the rebel base is. It does not look good. The windows, once boarded up, are now blasted through. It's hazy, from smoke. I walk towards it slowly. Nora pushes past me to open the door and runs to a body.

She whispers, "Oh, no..." I look around, shocked, when my eyes land on a familiar face. Bullet holes ripping his chest open. I run tohim, falling to my knees.

"Paul!" I cry. "Oh my God, Briggs!" Tears fill my eyes as my eyes run over his mangled body.

"Is anybody alive?" Someone asks.

"No." Nora replies sharply.

"Who was he?" Miles asks me, looking down at Paul.

"He... he was just someone who was there for me the day before we went into Philly." I reply sullenly. "His son... was conscripted. He joined for him." I stand.

"Miles, I gotta go." Nora says, her voice empty.

"Go where?" He asks.

"Central Command." She replies.

"What's central command?" Danny asks, his face somber. Of course, he probably doesn't even know who the rebels are.

"Rebel headquarters." She says, "In downtown Annapolis. I gotta tell them about this."

"I'm coming with you." Charlie asserts.

"Yeah, I am too." Danny adds.

"What?" Aaron asks, "No. No way!"

"They hit this base, they're gonna hit the others too." Charlie insists. "We gotta warn them."

"Look, I hung in there, ok?" Aaron replies, "Through some_ very_ bad times. But we did it! We got Danny! Why don't we just go home?"

"What home?" Rachel says, breaking her silence. "Sooner or later, Monroe will find us. There is no home to go back to."

"Then we leave the Monroe Republic," He replies decisively.

"Its _all_ going to be the Monroe Republic," She says, frustrated.

"Rachel-"

"I gave Monroe the amplifier, Aaron." She shouts, "He has helicopters, because of me. All of this-" she gestures to the dead. "-is because of me. If it's not up to me to stop it, then _who?_"

"It's too late." Miles tells her, "How's anybody gonna win this? With muskets, crossbows?"

"Then we get some bigger guns."

"Yeah. How?"

"What if I was able to get the rebels missile lanchers?" She questions. "Thermal guided, surface-to-air?"

"Rachel," I speak up, "what are you talking about? B- Monroe doesn't even have those."

"Firepower like that, takes imagining systems, tracking chips," Miles sighs, "It takes _power_."

"Monroe has power," She states the obvious, "Let's get some of our own."

* * *

_I watch Rachel speaking quietly to my brother._

_"Hey, Danny." I say, leaning towards my nephew. _

_"Hey, Lindsay," He says back. I smile. Not 'Aunt Lindsay' just Lindsay. Because I just said Danny. He's using sarcasm. That's adorable. _

_"What is the one thing you want more than anything right now?" I ask him. _

_"Ummm," He thinks, his brow furrowing. "Ice cream!" I chuckle. Kids are so easy to please. _

_"Ok," I agree, "Well, when we get out of here, you and I are going to get some ice cream." He smiles, and then Rachel comes over. I walk towards Ben to give her space. _

_The doctor comes to take him to surgery. "Nurse!" I call. A woman comes over to me. _

_"Yes, ma'am?" _

_"I need to know my nephew is going to be ok." I whisper. _

_"Ma'am, this procedure is very experimental," She says gently, "It's impossible to-"_

_"Do you believe it will work?" I demand, "Do you believe that it can?"_

_"I do." She says quietly. Before leaving, she adds, "I'll keep you updated."_

* * *

Miles crouches beside me. He touches my arm gently.

"You know, we left some of our stuff here." He says quietly. "I know there's probably not a lot left. But if... you wanna try and find a shirt." I nod, pulling my eyes away from the sheet I'd thrown over Briggs.

I stand and walk past Miles down the long hallway to the room I'd slept in just one night. They're towards the back, but still destroyed. That shows just how much damage Bass did here. I search through the rubble to find the bag that belongs to me.

It's destroyed too. I sift through it, desperate for anything of mine that isn't covered in holes. I find small, golden triangles. Completely intact. I stare at them until I realize what they are. They are the corners of my book. A Hundred Historical Places in New England. I dump everything out, searching for the book itself.

"No!" I whisper, out loud. The book is riddled with holes, the pages burnt up. There is no way a machine gun all the way out there did this. The militia must have come in. I look around. There are no dead bodies. They all must have gone to the front. Where they were slaughtered.

"Did you find anything?" Miles walks in.

"It's all gone, Miles." I say, my voice breaking. I hold hold up the book. Pages fall out. Pictures fall to the floor. Pictures of my family, with holes blown through them. Ben's face isn't even there anymore, a burnt hole where it should be. "Everything. My book, my necklace... He took _everything_!"

"Look in the pocket," He murmurs.

"What?"

"My jacket pocket. The right one." I reach into it and grasp something. I pull it out.

"My clock!" I exclaim. "How? Bass..."

"It fell out of his pocket when we were fighting." He explains. "It's not all gone." He gestures for me to come outside. I follow him. Nora is there, her pack on her shoulders. she holds out a maroon tank top. I take it, nodding in thanks, and pull it on. I walk to the main room and hand Miles his jacket, pulling on my leather one, the only thing left of my clothes.

I walk outside. I don't want to stay in there any longer. I feel them follow me and I turn to Rachel.

"How do we get power?" I ask dryly. She walks ahead of me toward the wagon.

"There's a guy I used to work with not far from here," She replies, "He can help us."

"And this co-worker of yours has... electricity?" Aaron asks, curiously. She just glances at him in response. "Oh, I get it. You can't explain it. It's complicated."

"You know I'm coming with you, right?" Miles tells her, as we come up next to the wagon. "Somebody's gotta keep you in one piece."

"An-And that's_ you_?" She asks sarcastically. "_You're_ the one that's gonna make sure nothing_ bad_ happens to me?" He tilts his head, indicating for her to stop. I look at him, confused. What has Miles ever done that would make her think he would let anything happen to her? I mean, he left her with Bass, but so did I! We both thought she was dead. And I don't see her giving me any hostility.

"Well, it's not a discussion, Rachel." He says, sounding bored. He turns to the rest of us. "You guys see the choppers coming, you run. You understand? Get outta sight." We nod.

"I'm proud of you," Rachel says to her daughter. She turns to Danny. "Both of you. I'll see you soon."

"Just come back this time, ok?" Danny pleads, and my heart clenches a little. Poor kid. He was, what, seven when Rachel left?

"I promise." She assures them. She climbs up into the wagon next to Miles. They ramble off, leaving me behind. I would've asked Miles to come. I had the argument in my head '_Remember last time you wouldn't let me come with you?_' but I knew he wouldn't let me. So I just kept my mouth shut.

"She'll be back." Danny says firmly. Charlie just nods.

"Lindsay?" Nora calls. "Annapolis, you coming?"

"Yeah, of course." I mumble. "Nowhere else for me to go."

"Lindsay, do you want to talk?" Charlie says quietly.

"No." I say shortly, and nod for Nora to start walking. She does, giving me a sympathetic look before turning.

"It's just..." Charlie sighs. "I know Monroe captured you again."

"Yeah. And?"

"He hurt you, didn't he?" I blow air between my teeth. '_Did he hurt you?', 'are you ok?', 'you wanna talk about it?'_ It's all I ever hear! And answers are always the same.

"Yes, Charlie." I reply. "He hurt me. Ok? I don't want to talk about it. So just... just be quiet, please."

"What do you mean, hurt you?" Danny asks. I sigh. Here it comes. "You mean... like, tortured you?"

"Yeah, kind of." I say, not looking at him.

"They tortured me too." He says quietly. I stop. "His name was Strausser." I round on him.

"Strausser hurt you?" I demand. He nods. "Is that why you're limping? What did he do?" He opens his mouth. "No, don't answer. It doesn't matter. Why did they hurt you?"

"To make my mom cooperate." He says. I groan. How _far_ will Bass go!? Torturing a seventeen year old kid!? I resume walking. "Did he hurt you too?"

"Yes." I owe him this. He should know if he wants. "A couple years ago, yes."

"And General Monroe, he tortured you too?"

"You don't want to know what he did to me." I whisper.

"He raped my mom." Danny bursts. "I know he did. My mom never said it, but... the way he looked at her. He'd have his guards take her somehwere, and she'd come back looking... so _horrified_, she'd cry all night. That's what he did to you, isn't it?" I don't answer, I'm too busy not sobbing. "I'm sorry." He says, using my silence as my reply.

"Thanks." I whisper, moving faster. I can't be around him. Not right now. But then again, who doesn't know by now?

**Annapolis, Maryland.**

I'm standing in front of an old supermarket when a gun cocks behind me.

"Uh, Nora?" Aaron calls. "I think we found your rebel base." She turns to see all of us with guns pointed at us.

"Easy, easy!" She shouts, as someone lifts a gun to her too. "Nora Clayton. See?" She slips down her jacket to reveal the flag tatto. "I'm resistance too." They nod in acceptance and lead us inside. There Nora rushes over to a familiar face. "Nicholas! What are you doing here?"

"You are a sight for sore eyes." The priest hugs her. He looks up. "It's Charlie, right?" Charlie nods. "And Lindsay."

"Padre." I greet.

"Commander Wayne Ramsey," He introduces a tall man with graying hair.

"It's an honour, sir." Nora nods. It's weird, seeing her be all... I don't know, official. Just saying 'sir' seems so... not Nora.

"Well, I don't about that," Ramsey brushes it off, "I'm not commander of much of anything anymore."

"Yeah, I was with the unit in Rockwell," Nicholas adds, "Before they came and caught us by surprise. Never thought I'd see anything like that again."

"We saw them take out the Westchester camp," Nora says. I look down, Briggs' mangled body in my mind.

"They're taking us all out," Ramsey agrees, "It's a full on extermination."

"So what's the plan?" Nora asks.

"_Plan_?" Ramsey repeats skeptically. "This resistance- it's over. For good." _Some commander you are,_ I think, _so dedicated_.

"What if we can help?" Charlie ask Ramsey.

"And how are you gonna do that?" He retorts.

"We're not." Nora answers, "Miles Matheson is." Nora explains the situation. Danny turns to Charlie. He has a far off look on his face.

"Did Dad..." He shakes his head. "He didn't die in pain did he?" I look at her. I've wanted to know myself. But I could never bring myself to ask.

"No." She assures him, her blue eyes wet. "It was quick. He just told me to find Miles and get you. And then he..."

"And Maggie? She's home, she's safe?"

"Oh," Charlie lets out a little breath. "Danny..."

"What?" He demands, "Charlie, what happened?"

"She died, Danny." She finally admits, her voice breaking. "Some guy stabbed her and she bled out."

"She... she came with you?" He asks. "To save me?"

"Danny, don't think this was your fault-"

"Charlie, just stop." He pleads. "I've gotta... I've gotta do something."

"Charlie!" Nora calls. "Could you go get water?"

"Yeah," She sniffs, "I'm on it." She jogs away. Aaron is nowhere to be seen. Danny doesn't look in the mood to talk and I don't think I am either. So I walk away, out of the building. I walk into the woods, not far. I vaguely wonder where Miles and Rachel are. Rachel... this is too much to process! She's alive! I left her with Bass! All because I was so easily tricked into believing she was dead. Did Bass really have that much control over me? To make me believe something that big with so little contoversy...

Then again, there really was no limit to how much control he had over me. '_You __**are**__ mine_', he had said. I had denied it, but then he raped me again. He laughed off my pathetic,_ worthless_ fight and raped me. How did we get like this? Obviously, he's crazy. There's something seriously wrong with him, mentally. But this?

We were happy! We were in love. Deeply, passionately, and _truly_ in love. Then he snapped. I guess in the end, he just loves power more than he loves me. It's as simple as that.

But is it? He claims he still loves me. He claims that's why he does it. And maybe in his head, that's the truth. Some evil, twisted part of his brain is telling him that he can make me love him again. Maybe it's not simple at all. How big of a part of his life am I to him? Does he think about me constantly? Or Miles? Is it always '_gotta get them back, I need them!_' to him? Or are we just two possessions that he feels have been stolen from him, but that his life doesn't revolve around? I don't know.

I hate not knowing. The hallucination, in the tunnel, was awful. But I'd felt that feeling often. I'd wake up a nightmare/memory and be sure, so sure, that I was in Philly. And I'd scream. Miles would come, but I'd be postive he was a hallucination. And I wouldn't know the truth for a long time. But the truth is I'm crazy. Hell, maybe even as crazy as Bass. I think that's called irony.

I realize I have tears slipping down my face. They're slow, one after the other. I blink several times to stop them. Then I stare out into space, in the direction of Philly. What is Bass doing now, right now? Planning to kill rebels? Does he know where I am, is he coming? I take a shuddering breath, imagining Bass coming trough the trees. Just... there. Not saying anything, just staring. _But no one is there!_ I force myself to think. Don't do this! Think about what Miles would say.

"Lindsay?" A soft voice says.

"I'm fine, Miles!" I say quickly, turning, "I wasn't- oh. Hi, Nora."

"Hey," She says softly.

"Wh-What's up?"

"Charlie came back." She says. I lift an eyebrow. I expected her to. "You're gonna want to hear this."

I follow her away from the woods, through the parking lot, and into the store. Charlie is adressing the rebels. As we get closer, her words become discernable.

"He said twelve hours," She says.

"And we're sure this guy's legit?" Ramsey asks.

"I don't see why he'd lie." She replies.

"What's going on?" I ask, moving out from behind Nora.

"Choppers are coming." Charlie says. I look at her.

"How do you know?"

"Nate told me." She replies. "Although, he's apparently Major Neville's son, Jason."

"Oh my God," I breathe. Jason Neville... I've heard the name. That means... Tom was going to let Miles kill his son that day in Noblesville. Did he know that's who we were talking about?

"Yeah, but he says he done with the militia." Charlie says. "But, anyway, what do we do?"

"Ok," Ramsey says, "They're coming at us with the big guns. We won't be able to evacuate all the wounded in time. So my vote?" He looks at Charlie. "We make our stand."

"That's a hell of a long shot, sir," Nicholas says, looking at Ramsey like he's crazy.

"Miles and Rachel will be here with the missiles," Nora assures him.

"And if they're not?" He challenges.

"Then we use the guns we do have." Ramsey says firmly. "I say we send a message to Monroe. That he can't do to us what the Russians, Germans, or Al-Qaeda couldn't. And if we go down, we go down as Americans." I nod in agreement. All these wars Americans have won... even as the little guys. Even when things looked hopeless: The Battle of Saratoga, Shiloh, Iwo Jima! No one thought we'd defeat the Japanese! If the American flag could be raised on Sulfur Island, then the rebels won't go down without a fight. And a damn good one too.

"I need volunteers," Ramsey calls. "People to go out, be the first line of defense against the choppers." My hand is in the air before his sentence is over. Nora is next, followed by Charlie and Nicholas. Slowly, but decisively, Danny raises his hand. I close my eyes. He shouldn't be on the front lines. He's never fought before, now he's fighting against power? The kid's brave. I was right... we didn't go after the typical teenage boy.

Ramsey begins his distribution of weapons. He hands me a large black gun.

"Word around the base is, you're Lindsay Matheson."

"Yeah."

"When is your brother gonna get here?"

"I don't know."

"He is coming right?"

"Yes." I say slowly. "Why?"

"Just seems likely that Miles Matheson would up and leave."

"You think he abandoned me?" I inquire angrily. "Abandoned Charlie, and Danny, his _family_?"

"I just thought-"

"You don't get to think!" I tell him. "Not if you're going to just assume stuff about people you don't know! You don't know Miles. You don't know who he cares about or what he does for them!"

"Well, I just can't see him killing his pal, Monroe." Ramsey asserts.

"Well, I couldn't see him risking the life for the rebels," I counter. "But I promise you, he is doing it." With that I turn on my heel and march out, gun in hand.

I look at Charlie, talking to her brother. He shakes his head and argues something. I look everywhere. Miles, where are you? Nora comes over to me.

"Are you read-" She doesn't even get to finish her sentence as the sound of helicopter wings comes into our range.

"Positions!" A voice shouts. I duck behind the metal containment unit, my heart nearly beating out of my chest. I aim my gun at one of the choppers.

"Alright! Nobody fires!" Ramsey screams. "Nobody fires until I give the order!" The choppers get closer, and then one swerves to the side, exposing the open inside. "_FIRE_!" He commands. I aim at the machine gun operater and fire round after round after round. The choppers fire back, and shoot their bullets from hell. A man in front of me falls back, several holes in his chest. He lands with a thud to mu right. I keep firing. Then the chopper disappears. It's silent.

I look over at Charlie. She casts her gun to the ground, out of ammo already. Danny just looks at her, then around him, at the bodies. There's a roaring in my ear and I look to the left just in time to see a chopper right in front of me. My heart stops and I move to the other, shorter side of the box. I can't shoot from here. Ramsey shoots at it, as does the rest. Anyone with a good position. It flees for just a moment, and is replaced with another sound: a horse drawn cart. I peek over the edge of the unit to see Miles and Rachel, hopping off the wagon. They grab weapons off of the bed and rush over to where I am.

"Miles!" I breathe.

"Hey, Linds." He says back. Rachel fixes the pendant to the gun in his hands.

"Aim for that one!" She points. "Amplifier's gotta be on that one!" Miles nods and gets ready to shoot. He aims, but so does the other chopper. It shoots the wall in front of him, and it explodes, knocking him to the ground.

"Miles!" I yell. Rachel and Charlie run to him, myself on their heels. We shake him until he wakes up.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" He says quickly. "Danny!" I look up to see my nephew running at the chopper with the gun Miles dropped in his hands. He fires with no hesitation. It goes off and hits it's mark. The chopper with the amplifier goes down, crashing with an explosion. I grin, breathing in relief. The victory is short lived. Without power to keep it in the air, the other chopper goes down, firing randomly as it does.

**_BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!_** Six shots. Six shots are fired into Danny's chest. I see it happen, but I don't understand it. He did it! He shot the chopper! We won! Why the hell is this happening. Danny looks down. I don't know what he's seeing. But three of those six shots went through his body. He falls, his eyes closing.

"_Danny_!" Rachel screams, running over to him. Nora holds Charlie back. Why, I have no idea. She runs over to Danny, screaming. Everything is muted. The screams of wounded people, or people crying over loved ones.

Then the sound rushes to my ears suddenly. Oddly enough, the first sound I register is the crackling of fire, left over from the explosion. Then I hear the screams clearly. Finally, I hear Rachel sobbing. I focus in on her, kneeling over Danny's body. I run over to them, just catching a glimpse of his mangled chest. Six shots. Six shots caused six holes, bleeding.

Six holes in a seventeen year old boy, who insisted on fighting a war he knew almost nothing about. A boy who only ever left his home because men killed his father and captured him. Ben was a good father: Danny knew nothing of the death, dying, and horror of the world around him. He knew nothing of people like Bass. He didn't know there was a war. He didn't know about the resistance, people who fought their opressive dictator. But he died fighting. He died resisting. He died a rebel. He died an _American_.

* * *

_The door opens into the waiting room. The nurse I talked to earlier comes out, casting a worried look at Rachel. I don't blame her. Rachel was the vision of terror when they told her she couldn't go in the operating room. _

_"What's going on?" Rachel demands, standing up. "How's Danny?"_

_"The procedure went alright."_

_"Alright?" She demands. "What the hell does that mean?"_

_"Ma'am, please-"_

_"You tell me if my son is alive!" She screams. _

_"Ma'am, as you know, this procedure has never been done before," the nurse says quietly. "We have no results to compare it to, but his vitals are ok." Like I know what that means! Throughout the surgery, the odds haven't been on our side. 'at this point, it's 60-40,' then '70-30'. _

_"What are his odds?" I asks, fearing '80-30, against his favour'. _

_"I don't-"_

_"Nurse," A doctor says, pulling off his mask. "He's awake." _

_"He's awake?" Rachel repeats. _

_"Yes, ma'am." _

_"Can we... can we see him?" Ben asks. _

_"I think you probably should." The doctor nods, leading us to his recovery room. There he is. His chest coming up and crashing back down. He's asleep again. Rachel rushes over. _

_"Danny?" She whispers, "Baby, it's mommy. Wake up, sweetie." His small eyes flutter open, revealing his gray blue eyes. _

_"Mommy?" He says, bringing up his hand to rub his eyes. _

_"Yeah, it's me." She smiles in relief. "Daddy's here too. And Aunt Lindsay." Ben and I walk over to her side, and smile reassuringly at him. The nurse come over and checks him. _

_"At this point," She smiles, "It's 90-10... in his favour." I toss my coat and purse on the floor and hug her. _

_"Thank you so much." I whisper. _

_"You're welcome, ma'am." She says. She leaves the room. _

_"Lindsay!" Danny's small voice, so strong, ao alive, calls me. _

_"Hey, Dan-dan," I laugh, wiping tears away. _

_"When do I get my ice cream?" _

* * *

Nicholas lays Danny's body on a table, and says a prayer. I close my eyes. '_If there is a God_,' I think, or pray, or whatever, '_And He can hear me, right now. Please, __**please**__, let Danny Matheson wind up in a... better place_.' I stand and walk over to his body.

"Hey, Dan-dan." I whisper. His eyes don't flutter open, like they should. His voice doesn't call me. "I love you." I can't manage more than that. So I go over to where Charlie is. She stands and walks outside, motioning for me to follow.

"Hey." I say quietly. Her face is tearstreaked, but her eyes aren't wet.

"Will you help me... make a grave marker?" She asks. "I don't know who else to ask."

"Of course." I nod. I know what she's feeling. She can't be around her mom, it's too difficult. None of us have seen Miles. Aaron is tending to the wounded. Nora didn't know Danny. She nods and we gather sticks.

She finds a large-ish one and I find one that matches it alright. We smooth them down with our pocket knives. After ten minutes of silence, she begins carving them. On the vertical one, she carves '_Danny Matheson_'. Then I take it and use some string we had around one of the sacks that formed the makeshift wall and tie the horizontal one between '_Danny'_ and '_Matheson_'. Charlie carves on that one his birth date, and today's date: '_March 25, 2027'_.

"Is that really the date?" I ask her, staring at her.

"Yeah," She sniffs. "Why?" I shake my head.

"Uh, nothing..." I stand. "I... have to find Miles." March 25... yesterday was the twenty-four. Twenty-eight days after my last period. I've never been late. Since I was thirteen. _Ever. _

_Oh my God_.


End file.
